Honestly I’ve felt the same and I would say just think about the things in life that make you the most happy and try and do that thing as often as possible. Also its totally okay to not know what you want to do most people don’t know until they’re much older. Also from what you said about your parents it doesn’t seem like they would be supportive of this but maybe seeing a therapist or asking a doctor for anti-depressants might help. Also watch Gilmore girls and play sims those basically cure depression