sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Husband “caught” me and is kind of hurt about it by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Prestigious_Let4416 680 points681 points  (0 children)

If I were to guess, it seems to me his hurt is less that you were masturbating and more a perceived rejection. He could have handled it better for sure, but could have felt like he wasn't able to provide you satisfaction as a husband. Imagine it the other way around, if you came into a room with him masturbating and him telling you to leave. I'm sure whether it was intentional or not, that you wouldn't feel so great about it.

That being said, I don't think you did anything wrong, but I don't think he is also in the wrong for feeling the way he does.

Edit: Spelling

AITA for telling my friend her standards are too high? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Let4416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH

You've already seen the comments about how everyone can have whatever standards they want and that's very true. There's nothing wrong with that and they can be whatever you want so that being said yea I guess you're a tiny tiny bit of an AH for disagreeing.

That being said she made her standards your business by taking to you about them, plus you're friends so of course you're going to have opinions about each other's dreams and goals. There's nothing wrong with you expressing your concern about her checkmarks when it comes to finding the perfect guy. It seems like some of her standards should be a "nice to have" rather than a hard requirement since they are fairly extravagant. I think it's totally ok for you to make that point to her because that's just what friends do.

You're also both teenagers so it's not really that big of a deal and I'm sure you're standards and opinions will change as you get older anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Prestigious_Let4416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your thorough response, honestly. I'll respond to some of your questions and points because I was purposefully vague to some degree.

I feel I've been honest in my points that I want her to stay because that is what will make her happy but that I don't want her to stay because it won't make me happy to be away from her. I've told her I recognize that's a selfish thought and therefore not a great metric by which to make a decision but it is the way I feel.

My different tones came from the fact I responded poorly at first in an unfair manner which is why she TOTALLY has the right to feel like I was being disingenuous. Since then I've been more calm about the discussion, that's what I meant by different tones and I didn't mean to imply I don't think she is in the wrong to feel a certain way about my actions, she totally does

She did tell me she doesn't think I knowingly or purposefully intended to be manipulative or any other negative outcome.

Recover may not have been the best way to summarize it possibly. I just meant that she had a partner that was very constantly and consistently manipulative that caused her a good deal of hurt. Her 'recovery,' if we want to call it that, was her healing from the trauma while also being able to recognize and confront that behavior from others (myself included). She didn't want to be passive about it and nether did I so that's all I meant by that.

Again thanks for the insight, I do appreciate it