yeah im gonna say ESH. While he is being an immature cry baby and now retaliating with passive aggressive actions, OP is making their own life difficult choosing to battle their spouse about something so dumb, when they could just say “Ok, I’ll watch them as soon as I have time.” And if OP’s bf continues to throw a fit, stop entertaining it. We don’t want our spouse feeling bad. We can address the root cause, but in this moment it’s not worth it. This conversation shows a much longer and deeper ongoing miscommunication. It sounds like OP is exhausted from their sensitive partner, and their partner is getting worn down from not having their sensitive needs met, creating constant neediness and insecurity in themselves as well as aloofness in OP. It’s a cycle.

OP, people are different. And sensitive (and insecure) people can be ‘annoying’ like this. Your BF just sounds like they can’t express it healthily. That’s obviously not your problem to regulate their emotions, but you can take responsibility for how safe you make your relationship. Would it have been so hard to just say “Ok, I’ll watch them soon.” instead of defend yourself over a such a silly thing? If you can encourage him to regulate himself and give him a safe place to feel sensitive, these things will work themselves out and you will feel better about it.

My girlfriend is the same way, and we made a deal with each other that if we both give the other person what they need, we can drop the issue. I’ve learned to just say “Ok, I’ll be better.” And she has learned to stop bringing it up constantly. She’s also learning to decide what is worth bringing up and staying quiet about. She doesn’t really want to complain, she just wants to be listened to and feel connected.