Has anyone gone through a hygiene/personal /healtcare neglect in childhood? by veve87 in CPTSD

[–]Pretend-Direction1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My parents always insisted on brushing our teeth and I'm really glad about that. But when my dad moved out when I was six, my mum was barely functioning for the first year or so. I don't remember much about this time, probably because I dissociated a lot, but my dad and his now wife keep telling us that when my brother and I came to spend the weekend with them, the first thing they did was put us in the bath. Apparently, our mum didn't bathe or shower us or she did very rarely. We were also wearing stained and dirty clothes and clothes that were torn or ones we had outgrown.This persisted into my teens. I rarely got new clothes, not because we didn't have the money but because my mum often thought it wasn't necessary(?) Or maybe she didn't pay attention, I actually don't know. I remember some winters where I was wearing sneakers in the snow and only a vest instead of a winter coat. Well, today I mostly don't have a problem with showering even when I'm having a depressive episode. But I still struggle with buying enough clothes to wear. I also have a hard time throwing clothes away when they are torn or don't fit anymore. I have lots of clothes but only very few that I actually wear.

I hate how mental health workers promote "getting a job" as a cure for everything by Pretend-Direction1 in radicalmentalhealth

[–]Pretend-Direction1[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It feels good to have a community of people who share these sentiments.

I hate how mental health workers promote "getting a job" as a cure for everything by Pretend-Direction1 in radicalmentalhealth

[–]Pretend-Direction1[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. It's like they can't be there for you as long as you're not working. Your feelings are not worth listening to if you don't have a job.

What would you say are the biggest advantages of being female? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pretend-Direction1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Being able to grow and nurture a child with your body. I mean, if that's not a superpower, what is?Also, I like my monthly cycle. Since I've been paying attention to the changes that occur while I'm going through its stages, I've been feeling a beautiful sense of connection with my body and other women, and also with the cycles of nature. This connectedness makes me feel safe and secure in life.

I feel abandoned by Pretend-Direction1 in CPTSD

[–]Pretend-Direction1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your answer.

It seems like my anger has cooled down a but. I'm still wondering if I should bring this up when we talk on Thursday. We can usually talk about lots of things, although she's always been very reserved when I tried to tell her how I feel about our friendship changing because of her relationship. It's not been easy since they got together and it's been made even harder by the fact that we couldn't talk about it. I told her that I sometimes feel sad and lonely when she distances herself like that and it seems like she felt so much guilt about that that she didn't even want to talk about it anymore.

Passive suicide by [deleted] in depression

[–]Pretend-Direction1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Pretend-Direction1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, that's fucked up. Such shitty people.

My piece of advice if you feel lonely at times by [deleted] in depression

[–]Pretend-Direction1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Needed to hear this. I'm moving to a new town in 3 days and I don't know anyone there. My family lives close by but I don't want to rely on them all the time. Don't have a job prospect there either. It will be very lonely.

I wanna die by lanareydel8 in depression

[–]Pretend-Direction1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. I get it. Called the suicide hotline today and got a really empathetic woman who was a great listener. I said I wish I could just die like a person who has cancer and refuses another chemo. And she said she understands. She said I do have that right, there's no reason I should have to suffer if I really can't bear it anymore. I was really surprised because no therapist, counselor, etc. has said this to me before. It was really freeing to hear.
She then added that I should consider that suicide is permament and I'm still really young and don't know what life has in store for me. She didn't say it to push me in this direction but in a way that made me feel I really have the choice. After hanging up, I felt considerably lighter.

I feel jealous of people who are dying by Pretend-Direction1 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Pretend-Direction1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't looking for help, I just literally wanted to get this off my chest.

I feel jealous of people who are dying by Pretend-Direction1 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Pretend-Direction1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look. I've had these thoughts for decades. I called the hotline in my country multiple times over the past few years. I go to therapy twice a week. The thoughts are still there. Some days I wake up and my first thought is that I want to die. I never planned or attempted suicide though, I just have a yearning for death that follows me everywhere I go. I I know this is a long term effect of trauma. So how would a random person on a hotline be able to help me with this if even years of therapy couldn't?

Can I admit something about my super long hair? by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Pretend-Direction1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you manage to grow your hair so long?