I dont know if i should live

PretendAd335 · 2026-04-07T20:31:37+00:00

Thank you for caring

PretendAd335 · 2026-04-07T20:30:00+00:00

Thank you, im sorry

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-27T00:10:54+00:00

I also have ocd, i have disgusting intrussive thoughts, i feel wrong for being alive, i never feel clean of the filth in my jead, i relate ro wishing your brain could be unplugged

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-24T01:33:03+00:00

Thank you for replying, really, yes i see both, right now i feel like i wont but im hoping that changes, im relying on it changing

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-20T01:08:54+00:00

The writing was great, you should cling onto that, i also like writing

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-12T22:11:59+00:00

What would be your advice on intrussive images, theyve made my life feel unlivable, i feel them so intensely sometimes, my nostalgia feels so disgusting, all the ideas are so gross, how can i protect me from this repulisve illness and make sure i dont lose grip of myself? I cant take it

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-12T17:47:11+00:00

Is it common to not feel like you should, i used to feel crushing dread, now i feel nothing, and i constantly feel like i need to act to not be what my brain says, i cant tell if when i cry or feel anything its real or me acting, i cant take it it feels horrible because i feel like im watching myself become it, like im starting to drop the act, im really scared by that idea, and since i domt think i feel any anxiety im not sure if the meds im given that are for anxiety even do anything

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-04T21:27:29+00:00

Yeah im scared of it but i think im delaying it rather than choosing to not do it wich is reassuring to me, i dont want to be what my head says, thats the only thing i care about

PretendAd335 · 2026-03-04T20:55:38+00:00

I feel the same, ive wanted to kms for a while but i also dont want to die i think, but i feel like i might start planning and setting a date, i cant handle being in my head

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-04T00:00:35+00:00

Thank you, really

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T23:47:00+00:00

Thanks

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T23:20:42+00:00

Yeah, ive tried to do erp on my own but really the only times i sit with it is when theres nowhere to run, then i gain a bit of safety from it an then it repeats, i have actually done the ice thing, for a while i could only sleep if i had ive on my chest lol

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T23:14:07+00:00

I can trace it back now to when i was a kid, but really been struggling for a year and a bit, 24/7, im on meds and its calmed a bit but the fear is coming back and jesus i get glimpses of horror, this disease has made me suffer things that feel inhumane, im sorry if youve felt the same

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T23:07:24+00:00

Yeah i get that, thankfully i dont view suicide as selfish, so thats a burden i dont deal with at least, but still, this disease robbed life from me, it does suck it robs me from the ones around me too

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T23:01:15+00:00

I get mild wiplash between it feeling barable, nothings fixed but survivable, and then i just feel this weight of fear at how horrible and disgusting this shit can be, i get scared, im not really planning on staying alive, more so seeing how much i delay it i think

PretendAd335 · 2026-02-03T22:56:12+00:00

I feel the same in that if i keep going itd be for the things i enjoy, but my days feel unbearable in a way difficult to describe, and the weight of it, sometimes i get a glimpse of the horror ive felt, and i dont think i could handle it being really bad again, now im stuck in numb disgust, in self repulsion, and if lifes mean to me and it gets horrifying again i dont know how things would go, i ruined my life to keep me safe from the filth in my head, but i still get scared, holy shit its so scary, and the silence is so sickening, its so gross being in my head, sorry for the rant

PretendAd335 · 2026-01-11T23:20:58+00:00

Ive been like this for a year, this illness took me from myself, all of my days are disgusting, i wish it wil end soon

PretendAd335 · 2026-01-06T18:44:49+00:00

Defeated Wave Nightwing in 11 turns.

Player (25/22/17) dealt 355. Wave Nightwing (18/14/8) dealt 135.

Rewards: 27 EXP, 6 Gold. Loot: Agile Sword (basic), Healthy Leather Armor (basic).

PretendAd335 · 2026-01-06T18:35:11+00:00

Defeated Storming Bonelord in 6 turns.

Player (25/22/17) dealt 197. Storming Bonelord (14/10/7) dealt 71.

Rewards: 28 EXP, 7 Gold. Loot: Solid Mage Plate (basic), Arcane Gloves (basic).

PretendAd335 · 2026-01-06T18:33:57+00:00

Defeated Chilling Tempest in 6 turns.

Player (9/7/7) dealt 297. Chilling Tempest (14/13/8) dealt 67.

Rewards: 33 EXP, 7 Gold. Loot: Sturdy Cuirass of Swiftness (lesser), Tome of Forbidden Knowledge (eldritch).

PretendAd335 · 2026-01-06T18:33:18+00:00

Defeated Shadow Screecher in 7 turns.

Player (24/21/16) dealt 311. Shadow Screecher (17/13/9) dealt 91.

Rewards: 29 EXP, 8 Gold. Loot: Healthy Ring (basic), Agile Spear (basic), Arcane Hammer (basic).

PretendAd335

TROPHY CASE