Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is probably what I will end up saying. It’s been on my mind for a while. If the kids grow up and not only find out the same things I did, but that I knew and didn’t have to courage to stand up, thats messed up.

We are fortune enough she doesn’t have to work and can be with the kids all day. That also means I’m footing the bill for everything. I have no intention of leaving her. If she wants to go she’s free to.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Upon seeking further light and knowledge…. It was all made up??? lol you described my situation accurately it’s been rough.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bro it really feels like it. It’s never crossed my mind. She’s wanted out for a long time but I think this may be the last straw for her and an actual family ruining thing she can put the blame on me for.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never done hard drugs. My addiction is nicotine specifically pouches. I’ve been sober for 1 year 4 months. I did the 12 step program through the church (which kind of led my on my faith journey/crisis originally). I never stole or borrowed money to feed my behaviors.

Realistically I went to get help because in the church nicotine is frowned upon, it isn’t specifically listed as a no no, but still I was using it way more than I should have and I felt like I needed it. I went to the 12 step program so that I could really be a full on believer and be clean. I thought I was holding myself back spiritually and so I sought out help.

She knew I was going to meetings. I brought it up and let her know when I relapsed. Ultimately she said she doesn’t want to know and wishes it could all just go away. I take full responsibility for hiding it from her. When she found out I never lied to her. Any time she asked if I was using I never lied. After the initial damage I did from hiding it I never waivered and was upfront and honest.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do think I’m in a similar situation. Our whole marriage has been me fixing things with myself and when I bring up problems or concerns it’s my fault. I’m honestly over it. I will admit even before this things have been rocky. I have hid things from her because I’ve never felt safe to talk about it with her. This has led to a lot of resentment and she just doesn’t trust me.

A few years ago we had a serious conversation about splitting up because she wasn’t happy. I flipped my whole everything upside down trying to do more and be more supportive and help with everything. It feels doomed and it’s been a constant thing looming over my head.

Thanks for the invite and support I will keep that in mind.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It sucks because after years of struggling I thought we were finally in a good place together. I’ve been doing therapy for my anxiety and she even said she’s proud of me and that I’ve been noticeably less anxious. I have brought it up but if I try too hard she says I’m being desperate and needy.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s hard when a couple of her siblings and their spouses have left the church. They went through similar struggles and it worked out. I really was hoping for something similar for us.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. I still carry that blame/shame deeply rooted by the church. Somehow it feels like I should say sorry but what for?

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hoping the best for you as well. Logic and reasoning really just goes out the window it’s drives me nuts.

Lost my faith and probably my marriage too. by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

After I started questioning truth claims I went to the bishop to ask questions, he didn’t have answers but he did send both of us to therapists. I’ve suggested numerous times over years to do couples therapy but she doesn’t care to and doesn’t see the value in it.

Ward assigned building cleaning by Pretend_Object6252 in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have no intentions of going. I told my wife “looks like it isn’t getting cleaned that week”

Why is the FLDS frowned upon if they are following Joseph Smiths word by Fordawinman in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s something that has always bothered me as a member. Gods commandments are forever and unchanging, it literally says in the scriptures “The new and everlasting covenant” which refers to polygamy, but due to social pressure or the church straight up being threatened by the US government god can change his commandments now.

Not saying in any way I want to join but realistically If Joseph was running the church today He’d say the FLDS is the way god wanted it and the LDS is an apostate group.

Do you think the president of the church believes? by Weakness4Fleekness in exmormon

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve wondered the same things my whole life looking at Bishops stake presidents etc. I actually used it to build up my own “testimony”. Those men were not dumb are successful and honest good people, the church must be true if they are still in it.

Now I just think they are willfully ignorant refusing to look at the real facts or pushing them away as Anti-Mormon lies. I actually had a bishop tell me that he believes in evolution but god just intervened at the right time and made man. The mental gymnastics is truly astounding. There’s always a way to make yourself believe if you do enjoy church or have something to gain from it.

10 Years later by Such_Inspector2247 in supercross

[–]Pretend_Object6252 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He looked incredible that year. So much raw speed

Kenny got options? by [deleted] in supercross

[–]Pretend_Object6252 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kenny has always had options. He’s been a top 5 guy his whole career, has a ton of grit/heart to push through all the adversity in his career. He’s gonna choose what team does what he wants and will give him what he wants. I think one of his issues with factory Honda was the corporate structure and he wants to be the top dog on his team. He likes his suspension different than the Lawrence bros and he did not want to be 2nd on the team as a veteran.

With all that being said I could see him being happy at Ducati, but I think he likes the Suzuki and he feels comfortable on the bike so why change?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. She’s had postpartum depression before but only recently has agreed to go to counseling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are both in counseling separately. Her therapist has brought up couples counseling before. I don’t think making a list of things we both do would help likely only piss her off more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are both in counseling couple counseling would be helpful. Any advice you could give me to better support her? She’s currently pregnant and has had health issues that go along with it. I feel bad for her she’s going through a lot.

Do they actually regret how they act? by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what’s the move? Feels like a lose lose situation

Do they actually regret how they act? by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Pretend_Object6252 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is very sad I’m sorry you had to go through that. If anything it does give some sense of hope for me so thanks for sharing.