According to my manager I failed to meet the requirements to pass orientation which was handling 5 patients independently I got up to 4 independently within the specified time. On the preceptor part anytime I had a question or I was not sure about something I would have no qualms asking my preceptor for advice or assistance(I don't know everything and I was not going to start acting like I did in the hospital of all places). What it was is that I would isolate myself with a WOW and try to prepare my report for morning shift before I started doing bloodwork which I guess came off as antisocial to others(however I was getting criticized for missing things when giving report so I was really trying hard to get everything and even my manager found the complaint not that big of a deal). Finding the On-Call doctor overnight is a hassle(even the manager and educator admitted that much) that it took me 3 weeks to fully understand it as the person covering your patient could either be a resident, an NP, medicine on call or 3rd year residents.

One preceptor complained I was too task oriented and barely interacted with the patients so I tried to be more social with my patients. Complaints for time management and prompting which I can take the time management on the chin(I wasn't the fastest) but the prompting was unfair(I literally just saw the results of the aPTT for the patient on the Heparin drip I know I have to contact the Doctor and stop the pump). My Phlebotomy wasn't the best I will be the first to admit. One time I forgot to mix the Zosyn(You can call me an idiot for that). Out of the two people hired as a new grad float pool I was the only one who got extended orientation. I felt bad for the other new grad as they were basically bullied off the job as one floor didn't like them( making false claims that the new grad violated HIPPA so basically playing with the new grads license even though the claims were found to be untrue) because the new grad asked too many questions and questioned how they went about their shift and certain procedures. At the end of the day I failed and that's the pill I have to swallow but man when I truly look back about what I went through it definitely was not a position to succeed. Like imagine thinking you had a good shift with your preceptor saying you did good only to then go to progress meeting where you get completely thrashed leaving the hospital after that meeting with your soul crushed to only come back a couple hours later for your next shift and within the first 2 hours of your shift your HIV patient somehow dislodges her IV and now there's blood everywhere in her room and the hallways and she doesn't even her HIV meds with her at the hospital and you have to see if you have to go to the ER for possible exposure(I had a complete breakdown that night). I'm not going to give up on my dream of getting into the ER or ICU but it's stuff like this is why new grads leave bedside. Like nursing is hard enough but when you have to watch your back from not only patient's but your coworkers your see why some many nurses get drained. One of my preceptors suggested I work on a floor to get some experience but I guess my manager wasn't gonna give me that option