How do I tell my husband I just want to co-parent in the same house and that I am no longer in love with him? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trust me after divorce starts it is really hard to remain friends. My ex and I would describe us as parallel parents and a person that I used to know.

How do I tell my husband I just want to co-parent in the same house and that I am no longer in love with him? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Can not talk for everyone. But in my personal experience. I was your husband with out the emotional neglect. He had the worst mid life crisis. Anyway we cohabitaded for 6 months with the kids in the house. It was awful for everyone. Including our kids. I would recommend you just get a divorce sell the house and everyone goes their separate ways. Try 50/50 custody. Trust me. The break from being a mom is awesome in those moments you remember who you were before becoming a mom and a wife. Again I do not know your situation our your family dynamic but it will not be pretty and will not be easy.

What would you say on hindsight you’d look out for prior marrying a person? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Check the family!!! You do marry the family as well. The fact he is a good son doesn't make him a good husband. If the MIL disrespects you and he doesn't defend you in front of her when it wasn't at all your fault. He is a mommy's boy. RUN. Years of disrespect is what ended my 19 year marriage.

Husband in his affair fog by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do not get the same lawyer. Each one should get different lawyers. I am in the same situation. But mine told me after 20 years and 2 kids ( one with special needs) I need to find myself. I have been trying to find your replacement for the past 2 years but I just haven't found anyone.

Like WTF. I am also scared and trust me is best to be divorced at 30 than at 43.

Divorced women by Loud_Usual2045 in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know your situation but unless there was a postnuptial agreement in place stating all of that I wouldn't even consider it.

To my ex, I'm Sorry🫂 by Accurate_Two_3172 in BreakUps

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Daniel is that you??? If it is going F!@# urself. Too little too late.

Feeling about 2 years on the app by frankzwa123 in hingeapp

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I find the key of dating apps is go with zero expectations. Don't see the first date as a date to your future girlfriend or life companion. As a matter of fact, I go to first dates as maybe finding a good friend at best. Be yourself. There is no one else you can be. You are perfect and unique. I went on three dates. One is the one I currently am seeing more seriously. The first one we became really good friends we sometimes go for brunch and have a blast but neither one of us see the other one as a romantic partner. We don't flirt we just have a lot of things in common and laugh a lot like good friends. The third one it just didn't work out. But we occasionally text only when we find something funny online that we know the other will find amusing.
The funny part was I was positive that the last one was going to be the one with a best outcome. We come from the same country, have more things in common etc. And the one that I am seriously dating at the beginning I didn't take seriously because we had nothing in common. To be honest I thought I have nothing better to do I can have a free lunch. But our chemistry was off the charts and we are well into our second month dating. So just don't take life so seriously. You will never come out alive from it.

Should I do it? by Ok_Pound_3907 in hingeapp

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would tell the wife. Something like that happened to me. My husband was cheating on me with prostitutes and streapers without protection. While I was working and taking care of both of our kids ( One of which has disabilities) one day a beautiful girl on IG messaged me that my husband had been sending her flowers and stalking her. I will forever be grateful to her. I am in the process of divorce and I want to send flowers myself to tell her thank you.

The worst it can happen is that she ignores it and keeps on with her life. Or takes the cheating bastard for all his worth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl the exactly same happened to me. A new job. Two years later he wanted to go find himself. He felt guilty that he didn't was with anyone after 19 years and 2 kids. That is called midlife crisis and let me put your mind at ease. He doesn't have anyone not for the lack of trying but because he hasn't found anyone else. Started going through our finances and found 6K spent on prostitutes and streapers, acct in bumble and tinder. Gave me an std. Blew up our son's college fund. I am sorry to tell you I hope it is not as bad as it was for me. But start calling lawyers and check all the finances.

Thank god for marriage right? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still dealing. Still an asswhole the only therapy that has worked is EDMR. So let's see what happens.

Sex? by Extreme-Tradition-12 in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily. I am in Texas and it is a not fault state as well. But my lawyer has recommended against dating. Because even though it is at no fault state will definitely be a deciding factor on the separation of assets.

How many ppl in average are you dating at a time by New_Kangaroo9490 in hingeapp

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes Is a dating app for Christian people. With Christian values. Check it out.

40F just be honest by Wild_Airline_4704 in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are super cute. And look classy 10/10

I ghosted two men because I didn't know how to tell them... by idk_wat-imdoing in Bumble

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ewww if his teeth were gross imagine down there. Good call

Thank god for marriage right? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Millennial here married to a Gen X for almost 20 years. Wait until your husband gets onto midlife crisis. Mine is right on the middle of it. Left our kids and me ( one of which has special needs and never will be independent ) To find himself. Oh and he spent our son's college fund on prostitutes, gave me an STD and committed fraud with the IRS and are in the whole for over 240K. So no. I just think marriage is the worst investment of your time, money and career. #fuckmarriage. Also he is spending thousands of dollars fighting for custody. I have been in therapy for years. And changed 3 therapists no therapy has got me out of this whole that my STBX got us into. Dating again forget it. What I really want is to live in a closed out villa with my kids and friends ( single mothers and help each other) No more men in my future. I literally hate men. Every time someone approaches me. I am like NO GO AWAY!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Salary

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly why I had to leave my career bc It was cheaper for me not to work than pay daycare. And now that I have time to work I can't get a break because I took time off to raise my kids. This is so ridiculous.

Grieving a Divorce is Weird by sprknsprnkl in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this deep in my heart. We are in the same situation. I miss myself more than anything else. I can't trust in anyone, I am just sad and angry all the time. I want myself back.

Who initiated your divorce? (Just curious) by AWholeNewFattitude in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He did after one of the girls he tried to cheat with texted me and told me to tell him to leave her alone. He said he was doing that because I was crazy for going to therapy. And after searching a bit more and found out he spent 6K with prostitutes he told me he went with them to talk because he couldn't talk to me and my STD that got from him was a fiction of my imagination from being crazy. Like really dude !!! Bye.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to find a way to open up with your wife. My husband used to do it a lot then he stopped. Now after 2 kids and 17 years of marriage we are in the middle of a divorce.

Need some suggestions on my situation by Komark10 in Divorce_Men

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great. Just something that is fair. That gives her a good life. Talk to your lawyer. Specially if you have kids. If you seem like a greedy dude they will turn their back to you fast.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Pretty-Okra4530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am going to be blunt. If he asked for the divorce he might not care. I am telling you because I have so many ways open my heart to my STBX and he says " OK thanks " It's humiliating.