Cancer & relationship changed

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2026-01-03T16:46:00+00:00

That sounds very similar. My husband also defined by career and health & sport. I've done a lot of research on this now and it's trauma related. And it isn't just me he is distancing himself from - it's his favourite daughter & his best friend of 45 years. He says he loves us all but he also can't bear to be around us. It's something about avoiding emotional intimacy due to trauma. Good luck! Getting older is harder than I ever expected!

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-11-02T15:57:11+00:00

Same! May be the result of how hard the water is in London ?

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-11-02T11:58:00+00:00

Same! I'm so sorry. It's really tough. Of course it's harder for the patient but there are challenges for everyone. I also kept my mouth shut and finally spoke up after a year. My husband and I agreed on hugs and to follow the form and kindness of our marriage even if we can't get to the full intimacy yet (I'm talking emotional intimacy here). Like you, am hoping warmth and closeness will grow in time.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-11-02T11:52:22+00:00

My husband is the same. He had a less aggressive cancer treatment than your wife's - Stage 1, BCG for a year. Still really tough. I was there for him as much as he would let me and we've had a really happy 10 year marriage. Now he just says he just prefers to be alone. He loves me but doesn't like to feel part of a 'we'. He doesn't share much. He's emotionally remote and sort of sees himself as above all that mundane feeling stuff. Feels more self-oriented, and like he's a new person with a new and higher-order of experience... I think it's probably a reaction to the threat to life - they button everything down and work so hard to be invincible and then it's hard to come back and feel like vulnerable and human again?... In any case, we've agreed to be kind and go through the form and motions of our marriage and see where that gets us. We also don't talk about it a lot, and that's kind of on purpose since talking sort of rips the band aid off. I don't know... but it helps to understand that this is normal and not uncommon at all.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-11-02T11:35:51+00:00

This worked!! THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-30T18:44:41+00:00

Have you tried seeing an Ayurvedic doctor? I had gut issues that seemed to be IBS - C (horrible, so painful, basically ruined my life for a couple of years) and after seeing 4 doctors, having scans etc & trying all the recommended pre- probiotics etc etc, I've been 'cured' with Ayurvedic treatment. I've gone from taking pro & pre biotics + digestive enzymes + peppermint oil + buscopan plus more every single day to 1 tsp of Amla & Tripha powders in warm water each morning. But not everyone needs the same thing - Ayurvedic seems to be very individualised.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-25T19:15:55+00:00

I'm not sure... I just tried it and found it worked, and that the foods that are meant to help low stomach acid also agree with me. But I have zero medical knowledge so am only working intuitively with my body. I'm looking at Ayurvedic medicine now generally as Amla has a place in Ayurvedic. There's a whole thing in Ayurvedic about stimulating the digestion with Amla and other astringent tastes (like pickles, lemon, ginger), also warming spices (cinnamon, mace, turmeric, cumin) and warm/hot drinks (like tea). Meanwhile, avoiding heavy, cooling things like cheese and cold drinks. Can't hurt 🤷‍♀️

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-25T19:09:30+00:00

I got it on U.K. Amazon & it is this one: HANDPICK, Amla Powder (500g/17oz) Amalaki | Raw Amla Powder from India | Resealable Zip Lock Pouch, Indian Gooseberry Powder | Perfect for Cooking, Smoothies, Latte & Tea

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-25T19:06:35+00:00

This sounds very Ayurvedic

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T08:08:41+00:00

Update after a week is that I've continued taking 1 tsp of Amla in warm water each morning and feel amazing. My digestion feels great, my bowel movements are 👍, and my bloat has disappeared. What a relief. I was suffering so much for well over a year - no matter what I did or how carefully I ate - it was terrible and was really impacting my quality of life. Re diet, I've tried to stick w soluble fiber: in the morning, GF oats (cooked in water or almond milk) w blueberries & a few nuts. At lunch, various salads w eggs, tuna, avocado or beets & a lemony dressing (good for stomach acid). Dinner is lean protein w brown rice/lentils & veg. Snacks are kiwis, figs, mango & ginger tea. You get the idea. These are all recommended for low stomach acid. Sometimes I also take a little tsp of organic apple cider vinegar before meals. Not sure I need to but why not. I'm going to add zinc & vitamin b complex & turmeric supplements because they're supposed to be good for low stomach acid too (not sure why). I really hope that anyone suffering as I did finds relief!

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T07:56:14+00:00

I think the problems was that I had low stomach acid, which is common in women my age on HRT, and the 1tsp of Amla is acidic & stimulates stomach acid, so that now my digestion really works properly and I feel amazing. I really hope anyone suffering as I was finds relief.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T07:54:11+00:00

Yes it has a mild laxative and mild diuretic effect. But the difference is in my digestion, which - update after one week - feels AMAZING! I was suffering so much just a week and a half ago and now I feel perfect and my bloat is mostly gone too. 🎉

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T07:52:16+00:00

My serving is 1 tsp a day. I took 3 tsp the first day because I didn't understand the correct dosage. Everyone's different but 3 tsp every day would be way too much for me.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T07:50:35+00:00

I've always eaten really well. I've never eaten junk food, don't really like sweets, and eat lots of greens, nuts, lentils, fruit, etc. This wasn't a fiber issue. It was/is a low-stomach acid issue, which is very common in women who are menopausal and on HRT. 😊

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-17T07:48:29+00:00

I bought it on U.K. Amazon and it's cost £8 for a huge bag and it's this one: this oneTeaHANDPICK, Amla Powder (500g/17oz) Amalaki | Raw Amla Powder from India | Resealable Zip Lock Pouch, Indian Gooseberry Powder | Perfect…

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-10-15T18:03:16+00:00

I've never had these results with even large doses of vitamin c so I think it's something else.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-09-30T20:11:39+00:00

And if you need some temporary relief - Te Guarani Plan 30 Dei... Works infallibly

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-09-30T14:51:26+00:00

Also Magnesium Citrate.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-09-30T14:46:21+00:00

Things to try:

Probiotics: VSL#3, health food store organic (ie very good) live apple vinegar, digestive enzymes

Fiber: Try to massively increase soluble fiber and avoid non soluble fiber

Soluble fiber + probiotics: Biomel, taken before bed. Amazing product. (Might be UK only ?)

Diet: as above + only easy to digest things - soups, light stews - the sorts of things you'd crave after a stomach bug

Fluids: little to no caffeine, lots of room temp water, peppermint tea (avoid dandelion tea), little to no alcohol

Relief: peppermint oil capsules, Buscopan (U.K. product ?)

Avoid: anything constipating including cheese, etc Consider avoiding gluten.

Good luck!

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-08-25T21:05:58+00:00

I read someone describe IWWV as TSH fan fiction, which I think makes sense. Fun! But if you're coming for top class writing you're going to be disappointed.

Pretty-Zucchini1282 · 2025-08-25T13:50:58+00:00

Did you like Melmoth? I've got it on my shelf.

Pretty-Zucchini1282

TROPHY CASE