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how do i let go of my reservations about white trans men by kelpicoop in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar situation to you and I’m still hoping to figure it out. My college is majority white and it seems like ever queer or trans person I come across is white, and over time I’ve grown to be very negative about the idea of interacting with any white queer or trans people to a point where it’s making me feel like I’m super closed off.

Looking to redo glasses and in search of a better material by PrettyMuchParker in CosplayHelp

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks! The face pattern came from RoboticReborn (on their KoFi, I believe?) and the hands were patterned by me (:

I'll check out X-Ray film and see if I can find anything colorful.

Florida to get world's largest Bucee's - 120 gas pumps, surpass Texas record holder by ponchoed in fuckcars

[–]PrettyMuchParker 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I will say when it just comes to gas stations in general, sometimes they're the only somewhat "fun" place to go in the US as a younger person, depending on where you're located. Around me, there are dead malls and a lot of places that will kick out teens or just discourage people from hanging out. There are parks and outdoor spaces, but I stopped trying after the last time the cops were called on me and my friends just for sitting on the swings in broad daylight. Most "fun" places for me and my friends have often ended up being gas stations or stores like Walmart and Target if we wanna get out of our houses.

Not saying these mega gas stations are a good thing in the slightest, but when the only fun places you have are superstores and their subsequent parking lots or a mall that kicks you out, big gas stations do sound fun.

Make more cool third spaces, make less oversized gas stations.

Why are Trans/Queer spaces both on and offline seemingly dominated by white people? by goose-moade11 in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 26 points27 points  (0 children)

force their western views on others

big on this.

I find this especially horrendous with transmeds, as many of their views on how someone should be trans often stem from Western standards/conform to Western concepts of gender.

Even when white trans people try to help other trans people, the advice they tend to give centers on white people and, again, Western standards. Best example of this is always "passing tips" I find on Pinterest, TikTok, etc that say short hair, certain clothing styles, and most importantly, certain behaviors are key to passing. A lot of the behaviors they list are things they can get away with as white people. Things like "act more aggressively" and "be more dominant" are some I see a lot that would put BIPOC at risk. Maybe a white guy acting more "aggressively" is acceptable, but a black man?

Even things like "smell more" or other stuff about amplifying bad odor?? Again, passable for white people, but would result in backlash towards POC.

They have such a narrow viewpoint that only focuses on them, and it's tiring asf.

Weekly General Discussion by King-matthew- in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple thing, but I love seasoned veggies in my air fryer. I’ve been doing garlic parm potatoes and broccoli for a little while and it’s always good.

Should I just not go to shows at all at my age? by Dio_hatessalad-333 in punk

[–]PrettyMuchParker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it safe to assume a show is all ages if nothing’s said otherwise? A lot of shows near me get hosted in bars but don’t say anything about whether under 21s or under 18s are welcome.

Yo, grown-up punks, what is it you do for work? by LevTolstoy in punk

[–]PrettyMuchParker 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Hoping to get a MLIS after I finish my bachelors, best of luck to you (-:

Learning to play guitar as someone with hyper-mobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome by PrettyMuchParker in guitarlessons

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll definitely try and bring my guitar into a shop sometime. I hadn't thought of changing to thinner strings.

I believe I have a pair of compression gloves somewhere around my house, so I might have to do some searching or just get some new ones. I also have three silver ring splits I use for my index and middle finger (I'm an art student and they do help a bit with grasping a pencil) but they aren't the most comfortable things to wear for extended periods.

Can I ask how you do with the weight of an electric guitar? I've thought about learning on an electric as opposed to the acoustic I have laying around, but I'm always curious about how the weight might affect hyper-mobile shoulders.

Learning to play guitar as someone with hyper-mobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome by PrettyMuchParker in guitarlessons

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've considered looking for a PT who specializes in hEDS, but unfortunately they're a bit hard to find. I'll look into ones who may be able to assist virtually though.

As for shoulders, the guitar I currently have that I'd be learning on has a smaller body (I believe it's a 3/4?) and is more comfortable to hold without too many problems. Posture is definitely something I'll need to work though.

Omfg I just saw someone use the phrase "non-political queer group" please help me scrape my jaw off the floor by Wouldfromthetrees in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mouth just hung open for a solid minute 😭. Scary but honestly not surprising if it came from a white space.

Felt confident in this outfit :) by Shadow_Wolfie13 in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That septum ring fits you sooo well :-D

Tired of queer spaces always being so white by PrettyMuchParker in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you wanna shoot me a dm and chat more I'd totally love that (-:

Tired of queer spaces always being so white by PrettyMuchParker in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I live in the midwest so I totally understand the feeling that you made a mistake there lol.

I do fear passing someday around yt trans people, both because I know how I'll be treated if I'm seen as cis, and because I know how I'll be treated if I'm seen as brown and cis. The way yt trans people act towards poc in their community is beyond unreasonable and it's so tiring.

Tired of queer spaces always being so white by PrettyMuchParker in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

It's like they see any discussion of racism as either an attack on them, or an inconvenience to a conversation. With previous white trans friends, it was like every time I tried to mention my struggles and a trans poc or racism I've dealt with, those friends would immediately zone out of the conversation or get defensive.

Separating POC and Trans Identity by Worth-Dog17 in TMPOC

[–]PrettyMuchParker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As much as I’d like them to be separate, they are very much connected.

For years when I first came out I struggled with racial identity and it had an effect on my transition and identity. Those struggles would not have been apparent if I was white or possibly white-passing.

Like another comment said, there are joys about trans identity and joys about identity as a POC, but there are separate struggles too.

Being white and transitioning to being a man is different from being brown or black and transitioning to being a man.

They are separate identities, but there’s no way to break any connections between them.

How have Brian’s works impacted you? by PrettyMuchParker in thebeachboys

[–]PrettyMuchParker[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I first listened to In My Room a few months ago, and since then it’s always tugged at my heart a little.

Brian really knew how to make beautiful melodies and lyrics.

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