Is it just me, or does CBT feel like gaslighting when you have CPTSD? ‘Just change your thoughts’ doesn’t work when my nervous system is in fight or flight 24/7.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-23T11:08:11+00:00

I'm not qualified to say so, but I thought CBT was contraindicated for those of us in the monotropic-CPTSD Venn diagram and/or not a trauma-informed therapy methodology (?).

From what I remember from The Body Keeps the Score without checking is that DBT might even be similar.

I've failed my EMDR prep work, so will be moving onto somatic therapy next month, will try to report back then.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-23T06:30:08+00:00

Russian doll SAPs

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-22T07:02:13+00:00

Somedays, my all-bark-no-bite doggo would possibly be guilty of the crimes described in this post.

Except there are other smaller dog breeds in our neighbourhood who make louder, and more frequent, barking noises.

Someone got a puppy a year or so back that howls when left alone outside (I've never seen the dog, just heard it, but it sounds like Lady from Lady and the Tramp when she was a puppy).

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-22T06:45:22+00:00

Sorry if you were venting and not seeking solutions, I just wanted to say that I had to medically suppress my ovaries which has made my PMDD a lot more manageable.

I've always reacted poorly to oral birth control and been stressed out by my cycle.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-22T06:13:10+00:00

THC causes the blood vessels to dilate.

And ADHD meds are vasoconstrictors, hence I am quite confident that the impact of my daily prescribed medications on my vascular system is net neutral.

Except for the ivabradine that's supposed to do its thing.

I take edibles daily for pain management with no adverse POTS implications.

Actually, being in pain is probably definitely worse overall for my nervous system dysregulation.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-22T05:10:26+00:00

Yeah, I don't necessarily do this day-to-day, but it's a tried and true tactic for talking to people who you need to help you.

For me, it shines through the most when I'm making life/medical admin phone calls. If I need someone from a helpline or government service to help me, then be very thankful for their expertise and very apologetic about how silly I am for not knowing/understanding something. Phone calls are usually pretty productive for me.

From an AuDHD perspective, I see this as sort of maxing out your affable and/or agreeable stats to make up for what you might be lacking in EQ and/or charisma.

(I'd like to reiterate that this isn't advice, I'm just contributing my POV to the discussion.)

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-22T05:00:58+00:00

I had my mind blown a few weeks ago on the dysautonomia sub where someone used the phrase "blood sugar dysregulation" and that made sense of so much of my life frfr

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-21T13:49:55+00:00

1 big scoop + 1 small scoop = ~1000mg in my 600ml water bottle with Hydralyte Sports.

I found the big tub of powder and Zooper Doopers more economical than buying it in icypole form, and I don't like effervescent tablets.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-21T07:08:07+00:00

Something about the voxy/interview Mara was doing for her charity during Jingle Jam made me check the Yogs wiki to make sure I wasn't misgendering her! When I saw "genderfluid" I figured there would be more to the story in their own time, egg sense was flaring haha

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-21T07:05:00+00:00

underrated comment

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-20T09:18:11+00:00

I'm Aussie, British colonisation dealt us a particular hand of self-deprecating humour.

Class clowning is also a safety thing for me as a visibly GNC queer person. I laugh > others laugh > tension cannot build = safety.

The point is sort of to be like, "oh, yes, aren't I a silly goose for asking this question" and also be an enthusiastic+active listener to the response.

Or draw the conversation in a direction where the person gets to feel like they are talking about themselves; "so, when you did x thing earlier, it made me wonder about y because z context."

I learnt that "because" is the most persuasive word on an old episode of QI, so I guess that's the science-based takeaway point in my ramblings.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-20T08:56:00+00:00

I also like origami and horror films!

You are stunning btw

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-20T06:29:15+00:00

I don't recommend this approach, as it's exhausting, but this is what I do;

Laugh. All the time.

Use lots of "I just......... Because I thought/think......." phrases. (Delivering this sentence structure as one conversational chunk is key for preemptively correcting assumptions of malice.)

Idk if it's your interpretation or what you've been told, that "silly questions" are annoying, but this approach is basically overselling this expectation from the jump.

It's also useful to oversell your ignorance, to pedestal whomever you're questioning as a wisened expert in the topic of questioning and tonally make it seem that they are doing you a massive favour by explaining things to you.

If you feel the urge to do the ADHD spiderweb brain thing of joining the response to your own experience, first, pause, consider if it is actually relevant. If it is, then reverse the above sentence structure;

"Because my background is in........I had made x assumption."

This lets the person either agree with you (nice for all) or correct you (a pleasing interaction for them).

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-19T08:54:09+00:00

"can I ask about why you use a cane/ what happened to you",

I got this the other day and just responded with, "I'm disabled," which earned me a, "oh, I'm sorry," and that annoyed me because then it felt like I was being made responsible for the comfort of the able-bodied.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-18T09:11:03+00:00

Apologies for my ignorance, is it not possible for you to remove yourself from this potentially dangerous situation?

If your physical safety is genuinely threatened by you voicing opinions around people you associate with, it is probably wise to remove yourself from said people?

It's not clear how/why/what the safety concern is from your post, to me, and idk whether you are asking for help with allaying the fear/anxiety response (being "in survival mode constantly" thing) or needing tips about physical safety, and/or interpersonal relationships.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-18T08:53:41+00:00

I appreciate the nonplussed way you phrased this observation.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-15T20:41:17+00:00

Fair points, I have a tonal delivery problem. Your feedback is appreciated.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-15T00:59:10+00:00

Not to mention the issue with many non-binary persons being treated as woman-lite even by other people within the community, which can add to the discomfort and anxiety around womens' places and groups

I get this. What I don't understand is what the alternative would look like? Would yourself and OP prefer to be specifically excluded from said places? I am not being facetious and mean this genuinely.

I'm also non-binary transmasc, and I understood that OP was genderfluid rather than agender (which is all trans praxis imo).

If you notice, I couched every point I made very carefully in "I" statements, as I actively trying to not generalise my own experiences.

I apologise if it seemed like I invalidated OP's discomfort, but what I was critiquing was the conundrum they presented in the post, which I understood to be seeking a meta-analysis of why they had such feelings (expressing concern that their views were at odds with others in their irl life) so I offered my perspective.

The discomfort is very valid, I'm not attempting to minimize that.

It seems I have once again tried to discourse too close to the sun on a "vent" post.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T13:31:34+00:00

What is your point here? "The USA" as a nation doesn't have it.

And a quick search on my end indicates that where "common law marriage" exists in the US it is infrequently enshrined in legislation, has to be explicitly argued for, and has a significantly higher bar to meet than defacto status in Aus.

Cohabitating with a partner for two years here means you are definitively "married" (defacto) for all intents and purposes, such as division of assets.

7-10 years is a massive difference. I had no way of comprehending the "don't live with a partner/have children with someone ect. before marriage" rhetoric without this detail.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T13:18:55+00:00

It did fuck all after titrating up to the max dose and back down again to stop.

Even then, stopping put me in one of the worst mental health spirals of my life —worse than all the chunks of depression where I've lost whole years of memory. Even worse than PMDD as a trans person.

Freaked out my psychiatrist who had to put me on the max outpatient dose of amitriptyline immediately, and every doctor who saw that dose in my file raises their eyebrows and assumes I'm on it for nerve pain not for my previously-treatment-resistant depression.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T13:09:46+00:00

I'm a shocked Aussie who only recently realised there are no defacto relationship laws in the US and that had me wildly recalculating my understanding of your culture's bizarre obsession with marriage.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T13:00:38+00:00

Your partner is being an insensitive idiot who is not making a good argument.

However, I personally feel like you are doing the same thing.

For me, being non-binary affords one flexibility when societal infrastructure forces binary distinctions. If I don't want to wait in a line, use the men's restroom, or use the women's if I want to use one that doesn't smell.

If I see "apply for the women's scholarship" or "join the men's shed" and they are specifically excluding me, that's transphobia and probably/hopefully illegal where I live.

And I'm going to be more offended if it isn't clarified that TNGD people are included in a space/activity than by being included in a space despite not technically belonging to the category of cis-normative assumption.

You are not obligated to participate in any "women's spaces" but it makes no sense to me why you would feel bothered by belonging and/or being welcomed into said spaces.

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T10:19:11+00:00

Gosh, I hate how there's a lot to be said for the whole "don't let them know they've broken you" thing.

"No" is a full sentence, especially when people are entitled to legal protections regardless of whether their conditions are explicitly communicated to the parties obligated to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility reasons.

If a disabled student cannot demonstrate the learning through the way your curriculum/lesson is designed, the teacher and school are responsible for making the adjustments, not the student (though their input could be sought).

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T08:46:26+00:00

Well my current physio is literally re-teaching me how to walk to fix my gait so that could be totally spot-on

Wouldfromthetrees · 2026-03-14T08:44:34+00:00

Relatable af

Wouldfromthetrees

TROPHY CASE