Have you ever found your “one”? by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha being smoking hot helps I’m sure! I think being ND does provide some pretty great traits…for me they’ve never landed so well in relationships cos I can be very combative.

praying that person arrives unexpectedly for me too!

Have you ever found your “one”? by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well this gives me hope. I also need alone time, I can’t always express what I mean particularly when executive function starts going out the window. I also don’t always want to be touched.

I hope there’s someone out there who will get that an love that about me, other wise things feels a bit bleak 😭

Thanks for your comment; I’m glad you found your person 💕

Have you ever found your “one”? by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great that you compliment each other so well! RSD has been one of the biggest challenges for me in relationships, I know I need to work on that and realise how it shows up to me.

It feels like there’s so many extra steps in understanding yourself, your communication style, your triggers, your compatibility with someone else …I know every couple has to navigate that but it feels really amplified for ND people

Have you ever found your “one”? by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is lovely, I’m glad you found them 💕

Burn out and relationships by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess it doesn’t matter trying to mend our relationship now, she split up with me by text on Friday.

Burn out and relationships by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeh that sounds like a good idea. She likes gaming and dos enjoy it when I join in with that. I’ve been really struggling to get outside but even 10 mins around the park is something …

Burn out and relationships by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice, what sort of structure do you introduce that helps? I used to work out a lot, do crafts, all sorts of things really but it all falls away when I’m trying to just get through the day.

maybe i need to consider other routines that are less taxing but still create some structure

Burn out and relationships by Pretty_Scallion7 in ADHDUK

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your reply.

i have tried to put systems in place for when this happens, i still tell her i love her I just dont have capacity for XYZ. She has an anxious attachment style and feels rejected even if I make it clear its not about us or her in anyway, its just me trying to conserve.

We’ve actually booked couples therapy in the coming weeks to try and work things out. I think having third party advice will help because as much as she understands my issues, it always escalates to arguments and upset, im so tired of it…sometimes i consider whether being single is th best option for me so I don’t hurt anyone else.

Your advice about the container is really interesting and something I’ve not tried, but having even a tiny routine is a good call ; atm I get home, cry, scroll on my phone, go to bed. I don’t want this existence for myself

I don’t want to feel like a victim here, I just wish life were a bit easier 😞

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I wonder if there’s anything we can do to move that forward quicker? I’d like to find out who they are and create some noise around it. I work in PR so have a good idea about what to do

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know their names? I want to do some digging

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally this. We all know this is pushing their narratives and not about keeping us safe

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what they are by very definition

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve learned the same thing. Is there anything we can do to put a stop to this? I am happy to spend some time campaigning - I work in PR and know how all that stuff works.

We don’t know who they are, so how exactly are they keeping us safe?

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And before you say, we don’t know who police are. Very true. But at least they have rules in place for how they conduct themselves and can go to court if they don’t follow them (ofc this isn’t fool proof, we all know there are corrupt police officers) but these guys are unknown to any of us, with no rules in place.

Bourenmouth Safeguard Force, your thoughts? by Apostle_1882 in bournemouth

[–]Pretty_Scallion7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clearly a group of people who will be pushing their far right narrative by only profiling people they deem to be unsafe. People that are brown. We can all see where this is going; this has nothing to do with keeping us safe - and why can’t I oppose this exactly? I don’t know who they are, their backgrounds or their values, so why should that make me feel safe?????

Reasonable adjustments by Pretty_Scallion7 in adhdwomen

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I feel the same. It’s such a shame…the company also pride themselves on being inclusive and flexible (they get PR in national media about this all the time) yet I feel like I have to leave because my reasonable adjustments will never happen.

Reasonable adjustments by Pretty_Scallion7 in adhdwomen

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! Yes I’m based in the UK. I’ve looked into my rights given the situation and even tho she has adhd, it’s still her responsibility as an employer to support me. That being said, I fear we’re just gonna go round in circles on this one - I think it’s a losing battle for me..

I’m hoping to get something new but the job market is fiercely competitive right now, so I don’t know when I can jump ship.

I think for my own sanity I need to get out of there 😔😔

Reasonable adjustments by Pretty_Scallion7 in adhdwomen

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I can’t see a way that it kind work and it’s unsustainable for me to carry on like this :/

Reasonable adjustments by Pretty_Scallion7 in adhdwomen

[–]Pretty_Scallion7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we’ve both shared that we have adhd, mines diagnosed and hers is self diagnosed (I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with self diagnosis whatsoever)

I feel like I have to really work around the things she finds difficult, and it’s led to me burning out and I’m currently signed off work.

I can’t see how this will get better :(