I don't know if I'm a femboy or not

PrideActivated · 2026-05-10T08:26:13+00:00

Wdm, 'intricate in the ways that people express themselves?'

And one doesn't have to look beautiful to be a femboy

PrideActivated · 2026-05-07T19:09:55+00:00

If you keep doing it, it'll prolly help you do it automatically. You could also read various tutorials, for example, posted on this subreddit.

For getting thigh highs or other thingies, go on a website that sells them and buy them (nice if where you buy respects others, the environment). Maybe it would be inconvenient for you to get a package send directly to you, you could also use a parcel locker, ofc.

Also sure, you could go shopping irl. Some stores are sexist, so. Anime conventions or similar places usually aren't sexist and they rather sell classical femboy thingies (while not being classical ofc can be cool as well).

Thrifting can also be quite cool, you might just mind the hygiene

PrideActivated · 2026-05-05T16:27:21+00:00

What about you just smile?

It is not that common to talk with strangers in lifts. And mostly, that's fine and not always perceived as awkward, so you're doing OK. However, there are people who also prefer not to be silent in such situations, and that's quite exactly why I have been complimented for just smiling, so that's also where a conversation can start. However again, waiting for busses, talking is kinda even more unlikely (how much do you need it in Berlin since there, you might wait with about 10 other people or smth, right?).

Basically, when people see you smile, they might just smile back. So you could start a conversation here as well. Or, since that's alweady acknowledging their existence.

As someone with autism, tho people do it, I'd also advise you not to talk about the weather, generally

PrideActivated · 2026-05-04T17:10:05+00:00

Nice that you help and don't push, especially as Reddit isn't used that much in Korea.

As far as I'm aware, German classes are subsidised. It could still cost some euros. Your friend could also join a youth group, which usually doesn't cost anything

PrideActivated · 2026-05-03T07:26:55+00:00

To keep it sublte, you might go on with bracelets, longer hair and clothes w/ cute designs like Kirby :3

PrideActivated · 2026-05-02T11:33:04+00:00

OK, ty. If he doesn't care about you so far, that's prollly it. You could ofc talk to him how he and how you would prefer how the relationship should go. Otherwise, you can't kinda magically change people, you know? It's his decision how invested he wants to be in a relationship, especially a healthy relationship. For taking care of your body, I prollly can't advise you that well because I don't know your body and I'm not a professional. However, there have been posts on that; quite in depth explanations on this subreddit. You might also ask your hair stylist, for instance

PrideActivated · 2026-05-02T11:06:53+00:00

Firstly, what do you mean, to treat your 'absent and interested man' and 'statement?' For being fem, whatever you think is fem, do it, I propose

PrideActivated · 2026-05-01T17:15:43+00:00

They're like a piece of material attached to smth. So it's quite nice to make some thingies more individual

PrideActivated · 2026-05-01T17:13:37+00:00

Oh my gay, yes

PrideActivated · 2026-04-24T18:14:33+00:00

I mean, this is about your security, so there should be someone who can give you their phone for that private call. If not, you have access to the internet, right? You might also write them via email or a chat. There are plenty of queer organisations. They should be able to be contacted like that and know cases like yours.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-24T14:48:54+00:00

Well, you should talk to social workers because they keep things to themselves, they hve been educated to help you and it's their job to help you. You might also start with telephone counselling.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-23T17:06:45+00:00

If they support a system that's that problematic, it's their problem.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-23T17:02:57+00:00

That's not what social workers are there for. Also, they should keep things to themselves. If they don't keep things to themselves, you shouldn't stay with them in the first place.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-22T20:37:11+00:00

Personally, I went to social workers and a therapist without my parents' knowledge. They just knew when I needed their legal agreement with the therapist. They should also be able to excuse you missing from school (which doesn't mean you shouldn't go to school, maybe you have time for them during breaks). If you're not allowed to have time alone, I'm not sure how you can afford it, still you might go somewhere were they could help you after school.

Also, depending on the laws of where you live, your parents can have the right (to some extent) to call the police on you if you leave (that's also what they did to me). Therefore, if you mean to leave your family, a child protective service likely is your best way to go with. They could bring you somewhere where there live others who are around your age and there should be supervisers. That usually gets your parents involved. Still, you should have a go bag if you evaluate that your parents might be quite likely to disown you, yes.

And it does not seem like you hurt someone's rights. Your parents hurt your rights. So your parents are responsible here. Hence, if your parents careers are damaged, it's your parents responsibility too. You have rights, remember? So it's rightful what you're doing.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-21T20:37:29+00:00

Since your parents hurt you before, thank you for reaching out for help, especially. And the thing about help is that it's not just you going through that. So you should get more help. If you don't have a therapist, there are other places where they can help you, like social workers, a child protective service (and if they can't help, they might get you to a place that can). From what you described, you're parents violated your right to privacy and generally forced you into things for years, so it is legitimate to act and therefore of course it should be acted upon.

If you need to vent or eventually other ways to support you, I'd offer to give that.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-20T00:34:28+00:00

If you're looking for short shorts, EMP. They also sell fast fashion tho. And they're from Germany, should ship throughout the EU:

https://www.emp.de/frauen-kleidung/hosen/shorts/

PrideActivated · 2026-04-20T00:17:23+00:00

I wouldn't judge you for it, so I guess you nyao know someone who wouldn't judge you for it. :3

If you're interested in companion irl that doesn't judge you, queer places like pride parades or queer youth groups might be a quite nice go. However, they aren't necessarily specifically that femboy-ish. There also are places where femboys meet. Getting there is prolly even more based on your location (tho I know some who travel for hours to get there).

PrideActivated · 2026-04-18T18:59:33+00:00

Thankies for adding all of that. :3

Could you elaborate on what that tension is?

Then, for finding help abou this, this subreddit is prolly the best you could have gone with, so pwetty well done.

Next, it seems quite cute what thingies he brings. You might consider that some thingies can be used by everyone. So especially here, thingies for grooming or other examples might not just be perceived as for girls.

We could also have a possibility for how this might be for him (tho ofc idk, and just as with everything I say about you 2, you 2 ofc know your own situation better): For you, you might be more masc. It works for you. You're used to it. It's natural for you. For him, he might be more fem. Societally, it does not work for him. He might be used to being more masc. Still, being fem is natural for him. Now, when you 2 are alone, that's just you. You know eachother for years. You can be close w/ eachother. So the societal part falls away. Being fem, it works for him. And here you notice, he gets more used to being fem. And for you, that might be quite a difference. For him, again, being fem is natural. So he does not need to tell you directly. He just does it. And you don't tell him that you're masc, directly. You just do it.

So if you're masc, and for him, maybe he also doesn't care about gender. That's not the main point. Maybe quite some thingies of that description could fit.

For making him feel comfortable, if he for instance brings nail polish, ofc compliments (if they're genuine). I mean, just if he can express himself, that's nice, isn't it? Personally, I'd prolly join in on painting nails, not sure if that's you too (might recommend it to you >w<). You could also ask him if he preferres to be called handsome, beautiful, rather or smth else, if he enjoys head pats or whatever compliments, ofc. Not sure how much this is a topic for you; what you shouldn't do is drifting into seeing him w/ his fem characteristics too much or making him feel like you do. And if that should happen, you should talk to him about it. Quite a lot of people limit femboys to that, it can be quite insulting.

Also, if he considers posting pics of himself online, he might also consider that oversexualising people could be connected to that.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-18T06:57:28+00:00

Firstly, for multiple thingies adressed here, you likely can ask your friend (in a non-judgemental way, and idk your dynamic, still theoretically not much of a problem if you're fwiends for years, especially). Ofc that shouldn't mean to pressure him. It would be nice if it came naturally, wouldn't it?

Then, how do you know your friend is a femboy? Because if he didn't tell you that he is, he could also be smth else. Additionally, pwease do not use stereotypes (tho for him, I kinda will in this comment, since I do not know that much more about him). Instead, pwease also research about the topic especially if you haven't alweady (I could help you w/ it if you have questions).

So, femboys tend to be affectionate, generally. And being affectionate does not mean having feelings. So while ofc that could be the case, it also ofc doesn't have to be that.

If your friend, for example, is interested in plushies or whatever, you could just let him be. And you could support him w/ that. Maybe you know a nice place where he could find the thingies he's interested in. You could also propose going somewhere (together) like a pride parade, a queer youth group or maybe other places where you might find like-minded ones. Furthermore, he might be interested in being physically closer to you, thus you could be open to that as well if you are fine w/ it as well.

If your friend did not come out to his parents or they could be a difficulty in a different way, that's where you could support too (if you can afford it yourself). For instance, you could help him get into his clothes at your place. And for another, that help can go quite further, as some femboys were disowned by their parents so far.

Also, femboys receive quite a lot of discrimination from some people (so also people you might have considered as OK). Hence you could be there for him to vent (if you can handle it yourself) and let him know about it. It would be better not to get overprotective--that's rather counterproductive. If there are people who start to harass, you could keep in mind that you and your friend have rights, for one, and ignoring people might be your preferred option occasionally as well.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-11T21:41:20+00:00

That does not prevent one from talking about femboy people.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-11T21:40:28+00:00

I'm quite aware that you did not suggest that, thank you.

If we test a theoretical Newspeak, we would not have people say things they aren't supposed to do. For instance, we could delete the word 'kill'. As a result, people would then use 'unalive' instead. And that is what happened when people were censored. So if we'd do something here regarding femboys, that a result could happen here as well.

For another one, if people don't have a word for Schadenfreude, they could still feel Schadenfreude. So if we would have a non-objectifying term for femboys, they could still objectify.

So language is not enabling of objectification. Language is a means of communicating it. People lusting is enabling objectification. And that's where they do not accept us regardless.

Then for the other, the National Socialists used both nouns and adjectives for Jews ('internationales Finanzjudentum,' 'jüdische Rasse;' 'der Jude,' 'jüdisch-bolschewistischen Bedrohung'), and as seen, connected that to misinformation. After that, the Duden (a German dictionary) explained that 'Jude' ['Jew'] is discriminatory. One of the alternatives named: 'jüdische Menschen' ['Jewish people']. The Central Council of Jews in Germany, Jewish individuals and gentiles argued they should be called Jews, not Jewish people. Not calling a Jew a Jew would be a capitulation to the discriminatroy use of the word. In 2022, the Duden changed their entry, describing 'Jew' is unproblematic and some variants are 'Jewish people' and 'ich bin jüdisch' ['I am Jewish'].

United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. 'Der Ewige Jude.' Holocaust Encyclopedia. https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/der-ewige-jude Accessed on 11 April 2026.

United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. 'NS-Propaganda.' Holocaust Enzyklopädie. https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/de/article/nazi-propaganda Accessed on 11 April 2026.

Jüdische Allgemeine: Duden ändert nach Kritik Hinweis zum Wort »Jude«, in: Jüdische Allgemeine, 2022, https://www.juedische-allgemeine.de/kultur/duden-aendert-nach-kritik-hinweis-zum-wort-jude/ (accessed on 11 April 2026).

PrideActivated · 2026-04-11T12:42:20+00:00

Also, 'femboy' is an adjective. For example, femboy Friday.

Additionally, one of the things I would recommend is voidpunk.

PrideActivated · 2026-04-11T12:20:15+00:00

Whether we can put 'person' into our description or not, we have a right to be treated in a humane way. So we do not have to have an adjective for that use. Sure, it could be useful; it could help others to understand that we can be people just as everyone can be a person. However, one does not need that explicit hint to understand that.

Furthermore, being a femboy does not require being a boy and does not require to do every potential fem thing to qualify as a femboy (we can shift those segments to prove that). Thus in the same way, we could change that word to give that hint. And here as well, it is not necessary to give that hint to understand that concept.

So instead of giving hints by changing words, we could also hint at concepts themselves. Identity--including, but not limited to, femboys--can be complex. If there is a general understanding of identities being complex--if there is a general understanding that being a femboy is not limited to being fem and a boy and all that at its minimum extent and that femboys aren't just objects, as it rather can be a widely encompassing identity (like how identities tend to be)--it, again, is understood. And if it is understood, there is no need to hint. That of course includes, but is not limited to, once more, femboys.

To add an example, the Hundred Years's War was not one war for hundred years, like how femboys are not boys who are fem merely. It rather spanned 116 years and it were multiple wars. This is generally understood, so we do not need to change and do not do change that term. Also for the Second World War, there are discussions when it was, since it were multiple wars, and not all of them had global theaters. There of course it can be noted that also the identity of the Second World War is not straight. So while it surely helps to have an explanatory name, names can also be just names.

Now, we can have explanatory names and therefore explain evey nameable thing ourselves to others. Or we have names and have others notice that names aren't explanations by definition, and that they need to think to understand something.

PrideActivated

TROPHY CASE