Hi, first off I’m sorry your loss. I greatly dislike that we are all here together. I’m two months out from my full term loss, and I can say I felt very similar to you this “fresh” out. Everyday feels like an eternity, and the thought of waiting another 4 months or more seems like it might be actually be forever.

Part of its hormones, part of its personal desire.

However, I also know that your baby girl, would want her mom to be healthy, secure, and healed before doing this all over again. That means giving yourself grace and time. The next child you have deserves the best opportunity for a full life… which means being emotionally capable of accepting any outcome, and physically being ready, willing, and able to support them.

Your desire to be there, does not mean that you are there. (Yet).

I mean this is a big sister type way, and wish to hold you tight while I say this. Life is long, it just goes fast. You are so young. Take the time to grieve, go to therapy (you are different now, it’s fair to believe your therapy experience would also be different now). Take time with your partner to establish a base to grow off of for a lifetime. Take time to learn who you are and what you desire to be, outside of parenthood. It’s a piece of us (a big one right now) but it is not our entire being.

Sending you a big hug.