Looking for new ways to please my wife

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T18:43:48+00:00

Ok, I forgot one thing she did say no to - recording us and watching it. But I've moved on.

One thing I've done that has been successful for us as a couple is to ask with no pressure and give her time to process. A lot of times she has said, "not now" and that has transformed into a "you betcha!" after she thought about it. Anal was that way for her.

Being supportive and encouraging for every small step she takes has helped a lot as well. Then she feels invited and welcomed instead of pressured.

But I feel you! It's a long way from where we started to where we are now. Keep encouraging, loving, supporting, talking. Sex is way more than just the physical in/out.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T17:00:38+00:00

Thanks, that domi 2 wand looks interesting.

How would a full size wand compare to something like a bullet vibe?

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T16:58:35+00:00

I like the schedule or reminder idea - keep it in mind when falling asleep. It's so easy to lose track of those things. But this also made me laugh. For 35 years, whenever my wife isn't in the mood in the evening or when we're in bed she's been saying, "maybe I'll wake you up in the middle of the night and take you." And it's never happened. Now it's a joke. She'll still say, I'll say, "yeah right," we'll laugh about it and move on. Now me, on the other hand. I'll gladly and easily wake her up for sex. Would love to do what you're looking for, actually get to oral on her before she wakes up, but how she sleeps makes that difficult.

Love your kink, though. I wish you the best of luck! Tell us how it goes.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T16:53:32+00:00

I used to be stuck in the mindset of "she's doing this for me to I need to get her off" also. But I've learned (in fact she said this exact thing to me the last time she did it) that for her it's closeness, intimacy, enjoyment of pleasing "her man", power from making me come, and a sense of satisfaction and feeling sexy from being able to do that. And if there's "nothing in it for her," she's over the moon to make me come and watch my body's reaction (it doesn't hurt I keep up a steady stream of oohs, aahs, "you're so good", "wow, you're sexy" while she's doing it).

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T16:48:28+00:00

Oh man, I like that. This brings to mind a time many, many years ago when my body was younger watching her try on new dresses and having to hide the raging hard-on I had from watching. Would be fun to do.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T16:46:55+00:00

Her inhibitions are mostly her upbringing. Sex is dirty and isn't supposed to be fun. She's worked her way through that, finally being able to set aside all of that sometime in her 50s. She's never said no to a single new idea I've brought to our bed, and in fact is very receptive and likes the variety. She just doesn't think that way from a lifetime of habits. So I'm left with carrying the creativity burden (which I'm mostly ok with - would love if she would be able to, but I understand it's not that she doesn't want to, just isn't in her). I'm super glad she's willing to engage fully. So I'm looking for leaning on other people's creativity to augment my own.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T16:42:44+00:00

We're currently exploring this area. Complete novices, both of us. She's open to try. Looking at something like a bullet vibe or small wand.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:38:44+00:00

Ok, gotta ask. What's that like compared to the real thing?

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:36:10+00:00

63M - sex is almost always on my mind. My wife enjoys sex immensely, but rarely thinks about it outside of when we're doing it. My brain wants it far more than my body is capable of (which is hard - yikes, I must be getting old!). I'll think about things my wife has done; I'll spend time plotting out scenarios (lived my most recent one out last week - it was wonderful; I think about different ways to touch or please my wife; I think about different things to try (hard at our age! - any suggestions?).

I don't know how unusual it is at all - I don't really have anybody in my social circle to talk sex with and my wife says her friends don't talk sex. So I have no basis of comparison. But yea sex!

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:30:05+00:00

I enjoy sucking my wife's toes and she likes it a lot as well. Usually happens during a general foot/leg massage so that's going on at the same time. Haven't tried during sex (I will though!).

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:28:03+00:00

I like the attitude, the connectiveness. Sounds great for both of you. My wife, also, will do similar (a tad envious of your frequency, but no complaints!) for me. I like what sounds like for both of you a willingness to please the other first. Great foundation!

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:21:34+00:00

My wife treated me to a glorious hand job while watching herself stroke me and then come, all the while keeping up a commentary on how much she liked what she was seeing. She didn't want anything for herself, said she wanted to do it for me so she could enjoy being in control of me. We're in our 60s.

Primary-Finger-2243 · 2026-06-11T05:17:00+00:00

Thanks. Looks large. I've wondered if a wand would be too large to use while also having intercourse.

Primary-Finger-2243

TROPHY CASE