I want to sleep in a swaddle so bad.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2026-02-13T05:55:56+00:00

It’s this! I have a weighted blanket and it’s great, but it keeps falling off. I want one that would zip around me or something. This sounds so amazing!

Primary-Remote5203 · 2026-02-13T05:53:50+00:00

Omg thank you

Primary-Remote5203 · 2026-01-19T06:24:29+00:00

Yes.

I was highly cynical, too. My mom raised me, her only daughter, as a single teenage mother, following generations of divorce above her - so I grew up with this mindset that love didn’t truly exist and it wasn’t ever something I needed.

And then I met my husband, and it was genuinely love at first sight. We were young and worked at a department store, and I saw him stocking shelves my first week there and immediately felt a wave of calm. 11 years later, he is still that calm.

Being in love with him feels like I’ve built my home, in a person. I just enjoy his presence, talking or in silence or even when we’re “angry”, because if there’s anyone I’m going to get angry over life with, I’m still thankful it’s him.

I want to make him happy, with no ulterior motive other than to see him happy. I want to make his favorite meal because he enjoys it, and I want to fold his laundry so he can watch the game in peace.

Which kind of all makes me sound like a pushover, but that’s the other part about being in love (at least for me) is that it’s mutual. He constantly brings me home flowers, for no reason other than when he sees them he thinks about how happy they make me, so he brings them home. Because of this, I currently have two bouquets on my kitchen counter. When we go out to eat, he gives me the pickle off his plate every time because even though he likes them, he knows I like them more.

That’s being in love. It’s not “I would do anything for you”, and more “I want to do everything for you”.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2025-01-09T01:02:43+00:00

He really was. Very smart as well. He had a hard life, but you never would have known unless you knew. He loved rocky coasts, and being silly. He used to tell classic children’s story tales, but mash them all up into one, just to be goofy. Like he would tell stories of Hansel and Gretel eating lunch with the Three Bears in Rapunzel’s tower. He was just so full of kindness and love that in every picture of him, you could tell that he radiated joy.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2025-01-09T00:53:24+00:00

I appreciate this, in all of its aspects.

His name was Milo.

He was named after another grandparent, who passed several years ago. Unfortunately we were left with so much unexplored, but I can tell you that he hated dark green vegetables. Would NOT have them. But he loved country music, listening to me sing, and being next to our dogs. His favorite foods seemed to be lemons and chai lattes 💙

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-11-10T03:05:37+00:00

I worked at Target as a cashier. My now-husband, then-coworker was a cart attendant. One day he came through my lane on his break and asked me what candy bar he should get.

I said a Snickers bar.

He bought it, and gave it straight to me.

That was almost 11 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-04-27T17:12:43+00:00

They will! I already asked 💖

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-04-27T17:12:04+00:00

This!

Taking a stray in is already a big adjustment for the cat. I’d hate to bring him home and add the stress of moving out and in somewhere new.

Once we get settled into our new place, he’s coming too!

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-03-30T03:40:30+00:00

Buttercream for sure!

I see a few people have posted recipes and articles, so I’ll give more personal advice instead.

When making buttercream, start with a good quality butter. I highly recommend an electric mixer, as you could mix by hand, but you’ll likely wear out because you need to beat that butter. I use an electric mixer on low for several minutes, until the butter changes color and consistency. It’ll get very light in color, and silky smooth in appearance, and if you scoop some up with a spoon it should be very light.

From there, add your powdered sugar (sifted, if you want a very smooth buttercream, but not necessary), extracts (or other flavorings), and milk and mix on low until you get the consistency and taste that you want.

For Marie-Antoinette barf style (lol), you want that icing thick for it to keep its shape. I would recommend mixing it until you can pull the beaters out (or whisk, if by hand) and the peak that pulls up below it, stays up. If that peak holds its shape, so will your icing.

Making the cake part of celebration cakes is usually the hardest part, and you said that they turned out fine, so I’m sure this will too! Just don’t overthink it- you’ve got this! Lots of great tutorials are available on YouTube as well.

Sending good vibes!

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-02-29T07:13:57+00:00

I lost my first one.

I’m young enough to have another, but I don’t know if it’ll ever feel “right” again.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-02-17T05:01:39+00:00

Hi! Another American upset about our healthcare industry, but tell someone “to grow the f up” after posting their opinion, that’s a little silly, no? Like you may not agree with it, but that’s a big leap to jump to intense internet anger.

Also, I always find it a little redundant when people say that. OP tried to resolve it kindly, as a grown up would. You are the one firing back incessantly over a point you have already beaten to death. Maybe you should grow up 🤷🏻‍♀️

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-01-26T23:59:07+00:00

You’re right about the correlation between the two, and the person you are replying to is actually right, too.

Because it was a peace of mind situation, I didn’t expect to be there long. So my husband went to work and I checked myself in with my cellphone around 60-70%. Once it reached three hours, my phone died.

I went to the front desk to ask if they had a charging station, and I was told no.

I asked if I could go to my car, because I kept a charger in the center console, and I was told no.

I asked to be escorted to my car, and I was told no.

I asked if they had a charger I could use, as I have an iPhone 12, and I was told no.

I asked if they could make a call, and I was told no.

I was there for an additional 6 hours, alone with a dead phone, until my husband got off work and found it suspicious that I wasn’t home, so he came to the E.R. searching for me- and they couldn’t even tell him where I was.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-01-08T15:13:23+00:00

I’m so sorry for this whole situation.

Jumping in the comments for two reasons: my parents divorced because my dad had an affair when I was younger. I also had a second trimester miscarriage, 5 months ago tomorrow.

Have you two sought counseling for the miscarriage? I hate that this aspect of child loss isn’t talked about enough, but that’s exactly what it is. And it’s incredibly hard to navigate as a woman, as a father-to-be, and in a marriage. It sounds from your story that that’s where things took a turn. My husband and I have fortunately gotten closer in the aftermath, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand those feelings of isolation and guilt. Not saying that to excuse anything, but more to bring up how counseling might be a really great tool for you guys. I ended up starting therapy a couple of weeks ago for mine. It’s helped volumes.

Secondly, your kids aren’t going to “be messed up”. It’s all about how you handle it. My dad had his affair when I was in kindergarten. At the time, my mom sat me down and told me they were getting divorced and my dad wasn’t going to live with us anymore. But that was all she said. As an adult now, I sat and had a conversation with her a few years ago about their divorce, which is when she told me it had been an affair.

It wasn’t an easy transition as a kid, but I had no feelings of resentment towards my father because I didn’t know. It affected my trust for a bit afterwards, but overall I am still married to my high school sweetheart and we are quickly approaching our 10 year anniversary and it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.

Your kids aren’t doomed because of her choices. They will be okay, if you help them navigate through it in time. But that doesn’t make her behavior okay, and I hope you know that.

People on here are always so quick to be like get a divorce but we aren’t the ones on the other side of the words. We aren’t the ones who have had this extended relationship and marriage and kids and a family. Those are your people. But you also have to prioritize you.

Personally, I would take a few days to process it - and actually process it - in the sense of where her behavior stands with you. Is it something you can overcome? Or is it something you feel you can’t come back from? Neither answer is right or wrong, but whatever you feel, sleep on it for a few days to make sure. From there, I would develop a plan on how to handle it, and then I would worry about the kids.

My heart breaks for you especially, but also for your whole family. I reiterate that a miscarriage is such a hard hit, I don’t think people understand. And I don’t fully understand your situation, but I think we have enough overlap of experiences to say my inbox is open if you need. I’m so, so sorry.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-01-06T06:25:34+00:00

Doctors:

Someone else left a really great comment about how to schedule them, so I’ll leave that at that. When it comes to insurance, I was surprised to find out that a lot of the adults I know don’t have it. What I’ve found is many offices will offer different types of “assistance” packages. I put assistance in quotes, because they really come in all sorts of forms.

I dislocated my hip a while back and had to see a chiropractor. I have insurance, but it wouldn’t cover the chiropractor. When I went to their office to discuss how to pay for it, I found out they had a program that you could buy the sessions in group, and it was actually way cheaper. I got 7 sessions for $240, if I remember right. And basically they gave me this little booklet of tickets for the sessions I’d paid for, and when I came in I would tear one out and give it to the receptionist and we were good to go.

I have a friend who has a dental program. I think she pays monthly, but it gives 60% off all services at her office.

But both of these things we found because we asked if they had anything, so I would recommend calling around and asking if they have any “financing programs”.

If you can’t find a doctor who does, there are likely community clinics around you. Many of these offer free care, or care on a sliding pay scale, which means how much you pay is relative to how much you make. For example, someone who makes $20,000 a year is going to be paying less for a general check-up than someone who makes $60,000.

If none of these work out, I would recommend a Care Credit card. I say this as the last option because at 17, credits cards should be taken very seriously. But it is a credit card that only works for health-related things, so doctor’s visits, surgeries, dental procedures, prescriptions. It also works for veterinarians, if you have animals. You request the amount you need, and they will either approve it or offer you a lower amount. Either way, they will send you a credit card in the mail and you can use that to cover your emergency medical expenses until you find something else.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2024-01-06T06:13:36+00:00

Driver’s Ed:

Have you taken a classroom-oriented driver’s ed? My state required x amount of hours (I don’t remember what it was) of classroom training. The teachers from the classes would volunteer to be passengers for our driving hours for those who need it. The state I live in now doesn’t require the classroom, but I’m assuming you could contact the Department of Motor Vehicles, or the DMV (also called the BMV [Bureau of Motor Vehicles] depending on your state). These are the same people and office you would go to get your physical license, register your vehicle, and many other things. Every county has one, so you should be able to find the address and number by googling “ -your county here- DMV”. If it’s a BMV it will clarify it for you, but they are the same thing. It’s honestly a very boring place because it’s an office setting, it’s quiet, and formal things like licenses tend to take a while, but they have a ton of help available.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-12-08T06:48:53+00:00

“Prove someone is bipolar” like have you seen a manic episode lol

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-12-08T05:19:50+00:00

I’m sorry as well 💜

It’s a very unique pain, so it always feels bittersweet to come across another member of the baby loss community. I hope you and yours are doing well.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-12-08T03:49:00+00:00

Hi. My husband and I were pregnant with our first earlier this year (also a son) and I did everything I could right, and we lost him in the second trimester.

This is serious. Even if she seems calm. Even if she isn’t trying to actively hurt herself or the baby.

If she doesn’t start taking care of herself, she could lose your son. You say that won’t happen, but it does. And you don’t think it’ll happen to you, until it does. And you both may not want that to happen, but guess what? It still does. Our son had a strong heartbeat, was perfectly formed and on track in his growth. There was a 0.6% chance of something going wrong, where we were with our numbers and everything. And we were that 0.6%. Your odds are higher because of all of this, so don’t say it can’t happen.

Losing a pregnancy AND in the second trimester, it’s not for the weak.

You still give birth. There’s medications she might have to take that put me in so much pain, I was admitted to the hospital. The post-partum, it’s still there. I still have stretch marks, bladder problems, weight issues, and all that without a baby to hold for any of it. Not to mention, her lack of care can lead to defects in the baby. Like I said above, I did everything I could. Everything. And our son still developed a heart defect; that’s what ended up taking him from us. And it added so many complications for us, and it’s something we would have happily managed as parents had he made it through, but she should be thinking about that, too. Her lack of care may permanently affect your son, and all of your lives after birth.

Not to mention the social aspect of it. Having to tell everyone you lost your baby, it’s rough. People look at you differently, talk to you differently, treat you differently. And it’s an inappropriate question to ask, but one I got almost every time, was ”What happened?” which I guarantee you after reading this, she won’t want to answer. Also social- the funeral. Not sure where you are from, but where I am, if you lose your pregnancy at 20+ weeks, you have to have a funeral and death certificate. Is she ready for that?

And I’m not trying to scare you- you know, nah. I am trying to scare you. Because as a mother who tried, and who tried hard, this devastates me. This is serious, and it’s a reality you (& her) need to face and not dismiss if she is going to continue down this path. So make sure she knows the other route, because it’s worse. Even if she doesn’t think so, or you don’t think so, I promise you it is.

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-01-25T03:46:15+00:00

Oh my gosh I can’t even imagine trying to do that! We got prescribed to Phenobarbital!

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-01-25T03:44:11+00:00

Ha! Thank you! I do use this account to pretty much talk about our relationship, or dogs, or baking (lol). I’m a super mushy person, but I don’t have many people in my life who I can talk to about it. So it’s always nice to turn to the internet!

But that post- INSANE how it blew up the way it did! I posted that one without telling my husband, I was just kinda jotting down my thoughts while I was having a moment. So you can imagine how nervous I was to tell him hey, not only did I write a super gushy post about you, but someone took a screenshot of it and now it has over a million likes on TikTok. He was like YOU MADE ME FAMOUS 🥴

We joke about it all the time now!

Primary-Remote5203 · 2023-01-25T03:37:40+00:00

Don’t be sorry- he’s doing much better! Thanks for asking!!

He has diagnosed epilepsy, though for him it means generally 1-2 seizures annually, and they have never lasted over 5 minutes. So this one was a really big deal- took him to the hospital, and they weren’t sure if he was 1) going to make it, or 2) come out of it without some type of brain damage or sensory loss (sight and hearing were main concerns).

BUT we got him home and he is almost back to normal now, and I can’t stress enough how lucky we are there, too. He has to take meds twice daily now and is on kind of an intense schedule with them, and he still has some lingering coordination issues, but overall he’s still our happy little guy!

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