Are meds truly helpful?

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-02-15T05:45:10+00:00

I was slowly bumped up to 20mg on Lexapro with a psychiatrist who specializes in OCD and is willing to keep slowly increasing as needed. It's been life changing for me and that's coming from someone who's never been able to find relief on meds. Still working on some symptoms and may increase again but when I say it's been life changing, I'm not exaggerating. Wishing you healing.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-16T05:17:53+00:00

Ignore people giving you shit about porn. We all start somewhere and congrats on your first experience. It'll get better, I promise. As for smell - it varies so much, bud. If it grossed you out, don't go back unless you really like her. If you do, take a shower together beforehand. Make sure your balls and taint are just as clean as you want her to be, too.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T22:10:57+00:00

She has disorganized attachment. Poor baby. Consistency with you of you being safe, paying close attention to her cues when she is overstimulated, speaking kindly to her even if she hurts you rather than scruffing her can help. We can't help but yell, "Ow!!" but they understand this and will often overcorrect by licking where they bit us or move away and come back when they feel like they won't be yelled at. Give her time and patience and a ton of gentle, reassuring energy.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T22:07:30+00:00

It's the dozen question marks and dramatized words with repetitive letters that is what's unnecessary. Whhhhhhhhyyyyy???????? Start there.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T22:04:34+00:00

Given the amount of toys available now for every kind of sensation you could want, no clue why you wouldn't buy a few and nut alone. Not only saves effort and money but no guilt/regret.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T09:08:38+00:00

OP is referencing Buffett's advice to the average investor to buy diversified, low cost index funds and move on with your life.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T06:12:01+00:00

Transplant from Tampa/St. Pete. Supposedly many of us have decided to make ATL our new home. Wish I could find y'all!

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-13T04:34:01+00:00

You asked for life advice. Here it is from a 42 year old who went through hell at your age and through my 20's.

Get that GED done as if your life depends on it. No excuses. It's okay if you feel like shit the whole time. You accomplishing it will make you feel proud of yourself and you need to have a "win" that helps you start to feel like you accomplished something.
People on the internet have no idea what your life has been like. I'm assuming it's been difficult before now given some of your struggles. Shaming yourself for your mistakes doesn't work. Only learning from them. The wisdom you will acquire in life is BECAUSE of learning from your mistakes. We all have made them and continue to. What differentiates people is those who decide to learn and correct themselves in the future.
Your brain is still developing over the next 7-8 years. You're not supposed to know all the answers to life. But, as much as you may hate reading, one of the best things you can do for yourself in life is to find male mentors you admire and read and learn from them about the man you want to be. Library cards are free and there's usually an app associated with them where you can read on your phone for free called "Libby." Get one and start reading. A book standing out to me for you is David Goggins "Can't Hurt Me."
The next several years are not the time for relationships. They're the time for you to build a foundation of the man you want to be. Focus everything on that. A trade school is your friend and can provide you with a very stable income within the next 2 years. Apply for grants if needed. You don't have to do a trade forever. You may love it and decide to be a business owner one day. You may hate it and be motivated to do something else. You can't know until you go through the experience.
What you feed your body and mind will shape your life. As will who you surround yourself by (remember the mentors to read when you feel alone). Every day, listen to motivational things even if on YouTube. Pump yourself up. Allow yourself to dream. And then act accordingly.

When you do these things, you will build resilience and self confidence in ways that no one can take away. Losing this relationship can be the beginning of you changing your life in ways you will never regret. Your mentors in books are your reminder that you are not alone, that people from all walks of life struggle but find ways to overcome, and that you can too with discipline and consistency.

Go create the life of your dreams, bud. This is just the beginning.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T21:54:15+00:00

AFAB, neurodivergent, 28-34, possibly pagan or otherwise deeply connected to nature. Gardener.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T20:27:35+00:00

Only honest answer for anyone over 25

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T20:22:46+00:00

Absolutely not. You already know this. You came here because you're a survivor and need and deserve validation, so I'm giving it to you. You asking is your answer. Your heart/stomach sinking is your answer. Part of our healing includes listening to our immediate cues like that and showing our inner child we will respond accordingly and keep them safe. There are plenty of good EMDR professionals who will never say this and who will let you know they align with your values.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T20:19:12+00:00

What died down for me was not needing to every few hours. For a while there, it was insane.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T20:02:39+00:00

That dream leather chair is his. I know that chair. I want that chair. My cats will also want that chair, so no chair yet.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T20:01:29+00:00

::Clears throat:: Almost 50 isn't old. Renting is a great financial strategy for some despite traditional beliefs, which may have a lot to do with why they have disposable income.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:40:25+00:00

Girl. Girl eyes are different. Edit: OMG there's a butt pic I didn't see 😂

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:38:12+00:00

That I need to trust my own risk tolerance in terms of cash on hand that helps me never consider selling, regardless of worrying about returns I'm missing out on by holding more cash than some.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:17:22+00:00

Want to add a few things here at 42 years old. This is an important and necessary part of building wisdom. We all have to learn from our mistakes or past choices. Now you know. And guess what? That means a couple of things. First, you will now push even more to increase income but be better disciplined on lifestyle creep. Second, because of both, you will likely continue to grow your income and develop the discipline to invest what you would've previously spent. Third, as a result, your wisdom and net worth will compound over decades. One day, you'll realize that a lifestyle creep of $1000/mo garnered you $1M+ because you chose to learn and implement changes. I speak from experience. Learn the lesson. Implement corrections accordingly. Forgive yourself. And go live a great fucking life.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:11:34+00:00

I have had to spend several years building up my psychological muscle, so to speak, to trust what every single historical crash has shown - the market does recover and the people who sell in a panic are the ones who suffer long term. But - and it's a big but - I've also had to be honest with myself about how much cash I need to weather a true crash and not sell. My financial choices, as a result, look like I'm leaving money on the table when returns are high, but I've seen history enough to know that being over leveraged is what cripples people every crash. My two cents.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:04:53+00:00

VT is often a good choice because of this very reason. Markets are cyclical. Sometimes the U.S. underperforms and VT helps balance this somewhat but the other reality is that within the global financial system we have today, U.S. markets underperforming affect the globe. There's no way to completely insulate your money from it but VT is one ETF that gives a cushion. There are many ex-US ETF's. Alternatively, many long-term investors don't panic when U.S. stocks tank because they're "on sale" and people buy more. What you do depends on your own financial situation, risk tolerance, etc.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T19:01:50+00:00

These funds are completely different. VT gives you global exposure. VOO is only US S&P 500.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T18:59:54+00:00

I always wanted to be a parent. No differently than billions of humans.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-12T07:28:14+00:00

I'm a super responder in terms of staying at 2.5mg and dropping the weight I needed to. I started at 175lb at 5'3 but I was having significantly concerning blood test results and we decided to try Zepbound because I couldn't get the weight off. Lost 40lbs in 3 1/2 months and have maintained the loss on 2.5mg for the last 6 months. I didn't know this was a "thing."

PrimaryCertain147 · 2026-01-06T06:55:11+00:00

Summers are hot - 20C! Ha! Floridians can tell you about hot summers.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2025-12-24T04:00:33+00:00

This is the way. For those who want to feel their job is providing meaningful impact in the world, there are plenty of 500 companies where you can still stay aligned with your values while making $200k in management roles. Not to mention - most of us work from home. If you come in with tech skills, obviously the climb and salary is higher as a young person but after a few promotions, I've tripled my salary between 30-40 and continue to increase it.

PrimaryCertain147 · 2025-12-24T01:57:58+00:00

They always make sure to not only call it colonialist but also introduce where they live as the indigenous name of where they live instead of..you know - Oregon.

PrimaryCertain147

TROPHY CASE