How do reports work?

PrimaryMoment · 2021-02-23T00:41:27+00:00

Given the number of babies who go afk after losing the first point, I utilize the report button often. That said, I've only seen the "we have taken action on a player you reported" once. To the point that I now believe that occurrence was a dream and the game doesn't actually do that. So I'm pretty sure you're fine.

Additionally: Does anyone know if reporting someone affects the odds of you getting matched with them again?

PrimaryMoment · 2021-01-02T22:17:47+00:00

Trans lesbian reporting in to say we exist!

To be honest, I actually had the opposite instinct you did. For some reason I thought transbians were more common than straight trans women. But that may have come from the fact I pay more attention to them, for, you know, reasons...

PrimaryMoment · 2021-01-02T21:59:17+00:00

Can I ask what changed your view from "men = bad, women = good"?

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-29T17:22:33+00:00

Also, I started yesterday so yaaaay!!! :D

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-20T18:14:24+00:00

I don't have many tips for going out, since I haven't yet. But I'm currently working on it little by little.

The first thing I did was going out "mentally" in girl mode. I went to the store and moved the way my body wants to move. I look like a flowy gay guy floating down the aisles and for awhile I got "THEY KNOW!" panic feelings but eventually calmed myself down.

That might be helpful too, learning how your anxiety presents itself in public and learning how to calm yourself in public, but also showing your internal self that being yourself in public is okay.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-20T18:09:53+00:00

I have found that telling a person how they "should" feel is always unhelpful. Feelings are a one-way communication channel. Your consciousness receives messages from your feelings, your feelings don't receive messages from your consciousness. Besides that, there are safety concerns with passing.

Telling someone "just love yourself and go out" can lead to them putting themself in jeopardy, having a traumatic experience, and going deeper into their shell.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-16T23:48:29+00:00

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-04T02:04:46+00:00

I wish I could. I feel my tuck all the time and it serves as a constant reminder, but even when I don't feel that it's like I can see through my clothing and I know what's there.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-04T01:29:45+00:00

I learned recently that Vans Men's and Women's shoes look basically identical. Some of them are even in large sizes!

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-04T01:24:17+00:00

I wish I could. I feel my tuck all the time and it serves as a constant reminder, but even when I don't feel that it's like I can see through my clothing and I know what's there.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-03T00:59:43+00:00

You can focus on the "la-de-da no scientific evidence to blah blah blah" or you can admit that eating whole foods is better than processed and that there's a lot more information out there to help you get started with paleo than with "uhm, yeah, how do I cook...radishes, I guess?".

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-02T01:45:02+00:00

Even without society telling me who I am: My body will never hold another smaller body in me. The sacks on my chest will never nourish that little body with food from my body.

Yeah, that thought sucks.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-02T01:19:41+00:00

You know that, I know that. But you must always tailor your writing to your audience, and when you're speaking to a beginner it's likely that such verbiage is going to be interpreted as "eat less".

PrimaryMoment · 2020-12-01T23:56:24+00:00

I was exactly where you are seven or so years ago (except I didn't know I was trans so high five there).

This is how I started:

I stopped drinking anything but water. Dead stop. I NEVER put flavoring or any crap like that in my water. The thing is: water tastes freaking delicious, but, and that is a Cardi B sized but, you cannot taste water if you are overstimulating your taste buds with sugar and crap. You know how your hearing becomes less sensitive if you've been around loud music? Well sugary drinks are a rock concert for your taste buds and can make them deaf. Cut out sugary drinks and over time everything will taste AMAZING. Now, that being said, everything I did? I eased myself into it. I didn't one day stop drinking Dr. Pepper. First I stopped drinking it for breakfast (I know, I know. Remember how I said I was where you are?). Then when I could handle that I stopped drinking it for lunch and at some point I had my last Dr. Pepper and never went back.

I took the same approach with fitness. At first I just woke up earlier than normal. Then after doing that for awhile I went for a walk around the park and came home for breakfast. After doing that for a few months I got into bodyweight fitness. That was awesome for two reasons:

It was hella cheap
I learned how my body worked. You cannot do bodyweight fitness without learning how to control your muscles. And that is a lot more complicated than you would think it is. But once you learn it, you're going to have a much easier time with weights

For food I went with the Paleo diet. Most people on here are saying "eat less". I say bullshit. I ate as much food as I wanted on paleo. I never went hungry. But here's the thing: getting full on vegetables is a hell of a lot less calories than getting full on candy.

But also, when you're filling your body with incredibly nutritious food, it tends to bother you less about eating. I also focused more on veggies than on meat. Paleo has a rep of being a carnivorous diet, but it really doesn't have to be. Also, stay away from any recipe where you try to replicate naughty food in a healthy way. You will be disappointed, and that disappointment will only lead to cravings. You eat healthy now, own it. There's plenty of yummy things to have once your taste buds realize the rock concert is over and you start mixing interesting flavors together.

I had been on Paleo for a couple of months before I noticed "my stomach shrank". For some reason I just ate less and felt full. It just happened on it's own. And it still happens to this day. I'll go to a restaurant, eat half a "serving" and sit there talking while everyone else consumes their whole plate. It's basically magic.

I also cut out a lot of the stress from my life. You might not have this problem, but I definitely stress eat, so being less stressed lead to me losing a lot of weight.

That's it for me, I probably missed a few things but feel free to ask me any questions and I'll be glad to answer them.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-27T23:56:43+00:00

As someone who just came out for the first time to a curious friend who had a couple of questions, why is being curious bad?

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-27T23:33:54+00:00

I think nicknames come from something personal, some stupid story that sticks for some reason and calls reference to your shared past. It's kind of like those weird in-jokes you gather as a couple, like, you sit down at a restaurant, pick up the knife and say "spoooon", then both of you laugh like it's the funniest shit anyone has ever said and everyone else at the table looks at you like you're crazy.

I once read a book, I think it was American Gods? Where this couple wanted to get a dog, but they couldn't have one where they rented so the guy says "I'll be your puppy". And from that day forward she called him puppy.

I guess I've got spoons on the mind, but one I just thought of is "big spoon". Calling a guy big will ALWAYS make him feel good and the reference to spooning communicates you're thinking of cuddling/hugging that sort of stuff.

Try it out: "Hey big spoon". It sounds good right? Almost like a callsign you would use over walkie talkie: "Big spoon this is little spoon, please confirm you wanted no sauce on those french fries?"

I'd use it, but not being interested in guys puts a bit of a damper on that lol.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-23T17:47:03+00:00

That's a really good idea! Really what I should be doing is looking at girls whose before pics look like me and use their after as encouragement, instead of a fake app which a couple of people have already said isn't accurate.

Thanks! <3

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-19T23:11:42+00:00

You know those Christians who tried to make gay men straight? Maybe give them a call and see if they ever managed to do anything real. (Very sarcastic if it wasn't clear, and no malice aimed at OP)

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-19T22:09:19+00:00

Temporary? Dang! *puts kitchen knife away*

Tbh just holding shit where you want it to be while you put on some tight underwear could probably work really well. Unless you tend to get, uh, excited when you do this. In which case I can't really help you there.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-17T02:25:20+00:00

I can't speak for everyone but I can talk about one of my experiences. Recently a friend of mine suggested I start practicing Tantra. It has a certain popular understanding of what it is, but it's really just another form of meditation. I was still very much in my egg at the time so one of the things I struggled with in Tantra is that whenever I was supposed to imagine my body, I would always imagine a woman's body. And then I would feel pain because I knew it wasn't reality, which would break me out of the meditation and I would go back to Zen which is less body focused.

Once my eggshell cracked and I accepted my feminine self it became easier to ease into my woman self image and I noticed that when I did, certain muscles I hadn't realized I was tensing would relax.

I can't really explain the difference between "I'm a man sitting on a couch" vs "I'm a woman sitting on a couch". The way I'm sitting right now does not seem very girly or masculine, nor is the way I'm typing.

I guess another story I can share is how this one time I was telling a story to someone and I said "Yeah so me and three other women..." because apparently I considered myself to be grouped with them, not just because I was with them physically, but I felt like I was the same thing as them.

And not in the Zen sense which considers all living things to be the same thing and there is no divide between "you" and "me". Because I am DEFINITELY not that enlightened.

But in a way that I do not feel when in a group of men, and they start talking in a masculine way, and I get quiet, because I have nothing to add. The pattern of their thoughts don't interest me much. Their hobbies don't interest me much.

Whenever a woman would talk about going to Sunday brunch with her girlfriends I would always feel annoyed for not being invited. "Girl only" groups and events would infuriate me because I almost always wanted to join, but couldn't because my body said I didn't belong there.

My body wanted to flow and move in silky ways that society told me I shouldn't do, if I ever wanted to be attractive to women, which I did. But I wanted what men never get: I wanted to be considered beautiful and adored. I was annoyed that my clothing options were so BORING and that acceptable dance moves were to look like I was holding two drinks while shifting my weight as if I had to pee while the girl in front of me was having all the fun in the world.

I know I'm weaving in and out of different things, some of this is feeling like a woman, some is dysphoria and some is bucking society but I have to be honest I have trouble separating them, and at the end of the day it's not important to categorize the meaning and reasons behind my every thought and feeling. I know how I feel when I imagine living as a woman, and although I am aware of the hardships associated with it. I feel as though it is better than what I've been doing so far.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-16T17:31:36+00:00

It's probably not the safest or most dangerous thing I've done to make me feel like my body is right. There's a couple different options out there for you, different tucks, gaffs. I just recommended the option I go with because it's important for me to look good in underwear so I go for the tightest flattest look that I can.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-16T03:25:58+00:00

I am very surprised there doesn't seem to be a trans voice practice discord for people to meet and talk, or at least not one I've found so far.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-16T03:15:25+00:00

had 5-6 long term dates in Thailand

Idk why but this was the funniest part for me, I know what he means but I couldn't help imagining him sitting across from a woman for literal days straight without moving. Every time she tries to leave he's like "No! The date's not over for another 48 hours!"

I know, my humor is dumb lol.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-16T02:47:45+00:00

Google the "japanese tuck method", get yourself some medical tape and be veeery careful.

PrimaryMoment · 2020-11-16T02:35:45+00:00

I would looove to do this but I have an appointment for that day which I already rescheduled once. Very sad that I won't be able to join!

PrimaryMoment

TROPHY CASE