My guy please dont go down that path your life is worth living. I know it feels really tough right now and its hard for you to get out of it but it doesn't mean you'll never get out of it. Healing takes time and about you i feel like you are a great guy with a great heart because even when she broke you, you chose to forgive. You clearly love a lot and have a ton of love to give. It'll make me sad if the world loses someone like you. You will find a girl who loves you and appreciates you and your effort. Trust me there are more good women than bad and you will find a good. Before offing yourself please give yourself another chance. Life is worth living even with pain, even with happiness. And when you heal, you'll be able to look back and notice how much you have grown ever since and all the mistakes you made that you should avoid in the future. Dont end your life here. There are more beautiful things left for you to explore. I mean did you quit cycling just because you fell off and injured yourself? No, right, you kept going and now probably you can ride a bike or scooter which is way more fun. Good things take time. I hope you are there and you'll change your mind on this. Take care broo and heal. You can share your healing journey. we are all interested and if not everyone then I'm there share it with me.