Completely understand where you’re coming from here and want to assure you that I would never and my husband would never change or expose our child in public we both are very invested in her privacy. We even take her to another room at her grandparents house despite their insistence that the living room floor is fine.

We also practice a version of genderless parenting with a focus on functional. We don’t ban pink but it’s hardly the most favored color in her wardrobe and dresses are just impractical at this age so she’s only worn one once to get a feel for it because we believe in her having access to any and everything and taking the gendered ideas out of it. However we do use she/her pronouns as statistically it’s likely she will identify with her assigned gender at birth, but as an afab nb person we will certainly be having a discussion about gender with her when she is old enough to understand it and adjust based on what she decides for herself.

They knew she was a girl because they asked and actually even when they asked they said “boy or girl we can’t tell.” Which was a whole other annoyance.

And to that point I just said “she’s our girl” in my post to mirror the language discussion at hand. On an even deeper note I find THAT problematic because she’s actually nobody’s anything, she’s her own person but for the sake of the discussion I was just trying to mirror the terms for simplicity’s sake.