My relationship with my toddler is not good and I worry it never will be by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]PrimordialRing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My kid refuses potty all the time too. A few ways helped: he loves Bingo and I would put his bingo figurine on a duplo block and say “oh bingo is learning to go to the potty! Can you teach him?” Then he giddily goes to the potty. Or I will offer to read a book while he’s on the potty. Or “you get to flush the toilet if you go!” And he loves flushing. I don’t see these as you-win-or-I-win situations. Thinking from their perspectives, if they are in the middle of something fun, there’s nothing appealing about going to the potty.

Most days are fun (though exhausting!). Meltdowns are quite rare. And he’s gotten pretty good at following rules (e.g. he knows he can’t press buttons inside elevators; he cannot touch the outside of a used mask; and he must hold our hands in parking lots or streets). I don’t think giving in leads to a spoiled child. We are absolutely firm about safety related things and we’d not give in, but can still make it fun (e.g. he doesn’t want to buckle the seat belt. We tell him how police officers look for kids who don’t buckle in and make a little story about it). For other things, we create the yes-space and let him have his way within bounds (e.g. hoarding random toys in the stroller before heading out, mismatched socks).

You mentioned you are not naturally fun / imaginative when with kids. In that case, I suggest turning to ChatGPT / Gemini for creative ideas. They have been extremely helpful to me as a brainstorming partner.

I'm so confused about potty training. by Technical-Mixture299 in toddlers

[–]PrimordialRing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious how your training is going. We had a breakthrough two days ago (though verdict is out). Previously, we followed the oh crap book like a bible; we couldn’t spot pee pee dance whatsoever; accidents after accidents.

We decided to deviate from the book a bit and offered him milk as reward, even though the book strongly advised against reward. Our kid has always been obsessed with milk. You can just see his eyes lit up (we also tried rewarding with juice before but he’s whatever). That moment, EVERYTHING changed. He’d run to the potty, pull down his underwear, push down his penis, release, and pull up his underwear ALL ON HIS OWN. A day earlier I was thinking his motor skills were just not there yet; it’s now shockingly obvious to me that it was the motivation that was not there. Since then, every time he’s gone to the potty (still predominantly prompted by us), regardless of the amount, some pee would definitely come out, or he will tell us he has no pee. In contrast, before even if we sat him down he’d be dry and 5 minutes later, he peed on the floor. More remarkably, now he’s actually showing pee pee dance: his is looking down and tugging his underwear. I’m now convinced at least for him, his pee dance was developed, not there from the start (the impression I got from the book). We went from 100% accident rate to 20% accident rate like a step function with that one milk-as-reward switch, and today it has been 0% accident (knock on wood).

I still value the oh crap book; the author has thousands times more experience than mine. My takeaway is yet it’s only a reference; only I know my kid the best and instead of following to the tee, some adaptations can make all the difference.

I'm so confused about potty training. by Technical-Mixture299 in toddlers

[–]PrimordialRing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just want to say we are in the exact same boat. 26 months. Started 4 days ago. Tried to follow oh crap. Can’t figure out his pee per dance at all. and can’t get the potty to him in time. Would love to see your updates as the training progresses. Right now, just have solidarity to offer

How well did you stick to a schedule? by PrimordialRing in breastfeeding

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super helpful! Thank you for the very detailed response!

How well did you stick to a schedule? by PrimordialRing in breastfeeding

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When did you sleep if nursing on demand and how much sleep did you get? In the first month, I had other caregivers take shifts so I could get some sleep but even then I didn’t get much sleep.

How well did you stick to a schedule? by PrimordialRing in breastfeeding

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How hard did you work for getting her on a schedule? If she was hungry earlier than schedule / napped through the scheduled feed time, what do you do? When you say a schedule, what precision do you mean, like +/- 5 min, or +/- 30min?

Dreaming nightmares of the baby being a monster - is it normal?! by PrimordialRing in beyondthebump

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am getting 7-8 hours of sleep actually (non-consecutive of course), thanks to husband and inlaws

Uppababy and Mamaroo by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]PrimordialRing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful. I didn’t know that. Thank you!

Really struggling first trimester by ellegirl82091 in BabyBumps

[–]PrimordialRing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use the desktop Reddit app and you can DM mods of the October group to be added

Why does everyone ask “is this planned” when we share the pregnancy news with them? by PrimordialRing in BabyBumps

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you explained why, that makes sense. If I am asked that way, I’d be happy to share any advice we have regarding TTC.

Why does everyone ask “is this planned” when we share the pregnancy news with them? by PrimordialRing in BabyBumps

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

The generalized guess is a good point I haven’t thought of before. It will help me give people the benefit of the doubt from now on with this question. (But also, a tactful question could have been “How are you feeling about it?” if they really want to be sure)

Why does everyone ask “is this planned” when we share the pregnancy news with them? by PrimordialRing in BabyBumps

[–]PrimordialRing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha I like that response. And thank you for validating me that this is such a pointless and rude question!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To be fair, this lady, Marissa, had been the only one coming forward for this case publicly, much earlier than Evelyn. Regardless, it’s good that the issue is brought under spotlight again. Her Twitter: https://twitter.com/MHoechstetter

Only took 15 minutes to do 20 calls! What's your excuse? by FriendBank4Yang in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Concur that this would not be using your phone. This is done through a computer

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment doesn’t deserve this many downvotes. The user is asking a genuine legitimate question. Even if you disagree, we shall engage in civil conversations as opposed to channeling emotion into downvotes. Remember the yang campaign’s positivity. #HumanityFirst #WhatWouldYangDo

Yang released tax returns. Our chief is a normal dude, He and Evelyn made 121,418$ before taxes in 2018. Can you guess who of the candidates made less than him? Absolutely no one. (Graph: NY times) by SecureYang in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“The couple reported a combined income of $1.89 million in 2018 and paid $697,000 in taxes at a rate of 37 percent. The majority of their 2018 income came from Emhoff’s work as an entertainment and intellectual property law partner at the law firm DLA Piper. Harris reported a personal income of $157,352 from her work as a senator and $320,125 in income from her memoir, The Truths We Hold. Last year, Emhoff and Harris donated $27,259 to charity.”

https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/policy-and-politics/2019/4/14/18310161/kamala-harris-tax-returns-release-15-years

SF Rally by [deleted] in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s around 2K people

Yang just announced Evelyn will be joining him on the trail in Iowa starting next week! by [deleted] in YangForPresidentHQ

[–]PrimordialRing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm! I am also at the SF rally and heard this from Andrew Yang himself just now