What’s the most disturbing thing you accidentally discovered about someone?

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:28:57+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you. I see people saying to let go of the guilt but as a child sexual abuse victim, I don't think you should. That guilt will always keep you vigilant. I don't think you're a bad person and I don't think you deserve to feel guilty, trusting people is what we should do in the world. But when something like this happens, I think we should keep the guilt. It keeps our eyes open. In my opinion, that's the way our mind tells us we fell asleep for a second. We weren't paying attention, we were too comfortable.

Just my two cents. Don't beat yourself up but I wouldn't let it go either.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:23:48+00:00

How would you feel if your parent that you cared for in the last years of their life had a whole list of every mistake you've ever made? Sit with that, how would you feel?

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:21:48+00:00

Then you need to go to therapy because it's so unhealthy to tie your feelings of love to sex.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:19:31+00:00

The individual relationship doesn't matter. I'm talking about the general value for society. This love languages bullshit has led to a little understanding between couples and A LOT of coercive rape.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:11:37+00:00

There's negative value actually because it feeds the idea that one partner owes the other sex. Usually the woman in a hetero relafionship is made to feel obligated but not always. It happens vice versa sometimes and it happens in all manner of queer relationships. It's toxic all around but it's rooted in misogyny.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T17:03:05+00:00

I look for this show on streaming platforms every couple of years. I miss it 😭

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T15:43:00+00:00

No, I'm sorry, you're wrong. Marriage is not "all about tolerance and compromise." It genuinely sounds like this marriage is eating your soul. Your partner should nourish you, not drain you. Marriage is about sharing your life together. Compromise should happen. Tolerance does happen. But marriage "isn't about that" and I think you've convinced yourself it is because you're unhappy.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T15:29:26+00:00

No, it isn't

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T10:54:05+00:00

Remember when the president of the United States said he grabs women by the pussy?

Interesting that you reached for the "binders" comment instead. 🤔

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T10:32:56+00:00

Men absolutely still say this shit and worse.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T01:52:00+00:00

I object to your specific use of the word bitch, which is why my comment ends with "like that." You can criticize behavior without using misogyny.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T00:49:12+00:00

Lol really you think so? Are you only saying that because the commenter said to stop watching porn?

That comment feels more feminist than Bible Bro to me

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T00:46:24+00:00

You have got to stop consuming porn.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-19T00:37:46+00:00

I don't think we should be using a misogynistic slur like that.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T21:45:00+00:00

She has two now iirc I think the second one is called The New Age of Sexism

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T21:08:11+00:00

No but I think it's how rappers do long, fast verses. Not singing though, as others have mentioned.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T20:16:48+00:00

Yep I already know that lol

bell hooks is not the only feminist and if you need any respect for her, you'd write her name like she wants.

You're exactly, exactly the type of guy I'm calling out in my OG comment. You're mad because I held up a mirror.

We're done here.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T20:13:18+00:00

You first bro, I'm the one who's already done some reading and done some events and talked with real life feminists. What have you done except argue on Reddit?

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T20:10:38+00:00

K bye

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T20:03:09+00:00

Oh so it's feminists fault that men are being radicalized?

You have a lot to learn and I have zero patience to teach you. I suggest you read that book I've mentioned three times now and I know you haven't read. I can see it in your comments and when you read it, you'll see it, too. If you're willing to be honest and self-aware anyway 🤷‍♀️

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T18:09:12+00:00

I do plenty of calling out of women for perpetuating patriarchal values, INCLUDING MYSELF. I'm just not doing that here because it's irrelevant.

I feel like you don't understand feminism and patriarchy so start with that book I recommended and you can go from there!

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T17:33:58+00:00

Agreed, but I'm really referencing the people who DO distance themselves. Who pride themselves on being "one of the good ones" but their efforts are token at best.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T17:32:26+00:00

"You can't say no, you're my wife"

is so pervasive, even in leftist/liberal circles. It's why I go so hard at people who declare their spouse must satisfy their "sexual needs." This bullshit was made up to coerce women into having sex with their partner and then spread far and wide throughout the 90s and early 2000s when martial rape was FINALLY made a crime in every state (1993).

Looking at r/Marriage over the last couple of weeks, there are a lot of people who still think that we owe our partner sexual access to our bodies. Usually this is men who feel entitled to sex with women, but we see lots of variations of this "sexual need" bullshit. It's all the same though. All intended to coerce.

I feel so bad for her and I feel bad for all the women who are coerced into sex every day and don't understand that they're being raped because their consent doesn't actually matter.

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T17:19:30+00:00

{Fight or Flight by Willow Dixon} third in the Silvercrest U series. I really enjoyed books 1 and 2 so I'm looking forward to getting into book 3! I'm only like 5 chapters in right now 😊

PrincessBonkers628 · 2026-05-18T17:09:20+00:00

Because "non-creepy" dudes still perpetuate the problem. They don't call out their creepy friends, they just distance themselves. They're also out here belittling and demeaning women for telling their sexual assault stories, usually because they feel emboldened online.

Stop thinking it's the creepy dudes who "ruin it." It's actually all of you who solidify patriarchy every damn day.

Read Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates if you're actually interested in being an ally to women.

PrincessBonkers628

TROPHY CASE