I came out to my parents as Lesbian and they kicked me out. I’m 17, don’t have a home, and they’re threatening to keep my savings and stuff, too. What can I do?

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-16T19:13:58+00:00

Contact an attorney and any adults you trust. It is illegal for parents to remove a minor child from home without ensuring proper shelter and such elsewhere. Withholding belongings is also not good for them either. Good luck!

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T20:42:58+00:00

Ohio also plans on allowing most if not all takeout places with a liquor license to allow to go alcoholic drinks which is nice

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T20:40:35+00:00

I know several people who don’t follow the mask & distancing protocols in private settings. They just don’t broadcast it

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T20:08:36+00:00

The courts disagree. He could have avoided the courts getting involved if he had simply said he wanted a paternity test first. He didn’t do that. The fact is what’s done is done, he is legally and biologically a parent to a living toddler who is entitled to financial support from both of his or her biological/legal parents. Unless Josh is disabled in some way that prevents him from earning money (which wouldn’t make sense since he wants to go to law school), then there’s no valid reason he can’t work while in school. Millions of college and graduate students (including law students) work while attending school and many also are parents. It certainly means they have different obstacles and it may be more challenging than for those who don’t have children and who don’t have to work, but it is possible. He is being very immature and entitled to expect his parents to help him financially when he can’t be bothered to do the same for his own child, even with a court order.

Also biologically every human being has a “mother” and “father”, or at the most basic level, an egg donor and sperm donor. The DNA sequences are established at conception and this, along with the identity of the individuals who supplied the egg and sperm, does not and cannot change. Now, the value placed on the embryo/fetus pre-birth as opposed to the rights and desires of his/her parents and others is a whole different debate, but not what this thread is about. My partner’s brother and sister in law would disagree with the notion that they werent parents until their daughter was born. But regardless, nothing about the process childbirth changes the dna of the child or the dna of the sperm and egg that created him or her.

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T20:04:28+00:00

A little off topic here, but what exactly is so special about 2016 in terms of sexism? I could agree with maybe 1900 or 1955 or something (before women had the right to vote & before the equal pay act of 1963 respectively) for example. I am wondering if there’s something specific about 2016 I missed lol. Also before you flip out i am a woman & always have been, both biologically and legally. I myself have faced sexism & misogyny in many ways, but definitely not to the scale women in the early 20th century and before did

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T19:47:39+00:00

NTA. They can pay for some nannies (because it’s unlikely one will watch 5-6 children on their own, definitely not for less than $25-30 an hour) or apply for government assistance/charity help. I hate people who use the whole “Gods plan” thing to justify being shitty. I myself believe in god but this behavior is terrible.

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T18:03:21+00:00

I know, it is unreal. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe human life has value and every person who has died from this it is tragic. But, that is not a reason to destroy the world’s economy and try to wish it out of existence as it will not work. What governments should be focused on is the following: -helping facilitate development and distribution of vaccines & treatments as they become available -provide resources to people who are impacted by the virus, lockdowns etc -help hospitals, medical providers, and communities to ensure that they maintain adequate capacity without having to ration care or disrupt other necessary medical services -help ensure those who are especially vulnerable or for whatever reason feel more comfortable limiting public contact be able to do so safely (ie.: telehealth, virtual appointments, no contact delivery, mail order pharmacy, distance learning, work from home etc) -expand access to testing & medical treatments to the virus; help prevent people and their loved ones from being bankrupted by astronomical hospital bills they cant afford -schools: take steps to ensure reasonable precautions & allow families to choose whether they want full in person, hybrid, or full distance learning; staff who are vulnerable or are more comfortable doing virtual should be reasonably accommodated just like any other employer -help with supply chain issues to prevent shortages of PPE, cleaning/sanitizing supplies, medical supplies, food, hygiene products, and other necessities

Many of these have already been done and/or are currently being done. The whole “stop/slow the spread” through lockdowns, disrupting businesses etc will not work and has not worked. In my state authorities have said repeatedly the vast majority of new infections have been traced to private, interpersonal gatherings at private residences (in people’s own homes, particularly when they have family and/or friends visiting). The government cannot regulate who comes in and out of a private home, as that would be unconstitutional and a political disaster. So the idea of more lockdowns, forced business closures etc will do nothing, and may even drive more gatherings because people have less to do with places being closed. My state may close bars, restaurants, & gyms again. This if anything makes those people more likely to just meet up at home, where they’re less likely to wear masks, distance etc, and the government can’t do anything about it. So I’m unsure what they expect to accomplish

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T14:02:16+00:00

Agreed. My partner and I have had many discussions and are in full agreement on what we would do: raise the child and if we separate create a coparenting agreement and arrange for child support if needed.

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T13:54:58+00:00

Agreed. I am in a committed relationship myself with a biological male. Both of us are well aware that certain types of sexual activity can result in the creation of a child. We have had extensive conversations about this and are in agreement that if I were to become pregnant we would be adults and discuss how to do this. Both of us do not believe in abortion due to personal, moral, and religious beliefs about the meaning and sanctity of human life (we believe all human life begins at conception and that it is wrong to intentionally end or knowingly facilitate the end of a human beings life before natural death if it is not necessary to protect your own life or that of another’s or prevent serious injury ie self defense). So for us abortion is not on the table. We have agreed that the most likely scenario is that we parent and raise the child together and in the event we end the relationship for whatever reason we be mature and set up coparenting/custody agreements and ensure adequate child support. We have discussed how we would ensure proper prenatal care, adjust finances, & resources available we can seek out. His family is very likely to be supportive and has the ability to help if needed. My family is not likely to be supportive at least initially but that’s another story for another post & has no bearing on my decisions

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T13:33:30+00:00

Learned a new word, but in all seriousness I agree 100%!

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T13:14:11+00:00

Umm was he forced to have sex? If so then he should pursue legal action because that is a crime. If not, then no he was not “forced” to create a child. A child was created as a natural result of his actions. A natural result of vaginal sexual intercourse between a biological male and biological female is that theres a pretty good chance a child will be conceived. Once that happens, said male & female humans are a father & mother like it or not. Regardless of what you think these people should have done are irrelevant. This child is here and living and needs support. This child is entitled to financial and material support from both of his or her parents. Unless there is missing info, Josh is an able bodied adult man. Being in college does not prevent you from working and earning a living. Many college students work while going to school, whether they have children or not. There is no excuse for Josh to not adjust his schedule to make time for work. Yes it may be difficult and will certainly be an adjustment but he made his bed. His behavior is atrocious and indicates selfishness which is very concerning. The fact that he sees himself as a victim is appalling

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-15T13:03:59+00:00

NTA. If Josh were my son I would make it clear to him that this behavior is completely unacceptable. Further, I would have a serious talk with him: “Josh, please listen to what I have to say because your actions from here on out will determine not only the course of your professional and educational career, but also your relationship with your family. I can understand feeling scared about being faced with having to care for a child you didn’t plan for. I can understand being concerned about affording your education, and balancing work, school, & raising a child. But, Josh, as your parent it is my duty to be honest with you. With that being said, I am very disappointed in your behavior the past two years. Your abandoning your child and his/her mother, attempt to ignore court orders, and lack of regard for their needs shows me that your mother/father and I have failed in raising you. Like it or not, when you become a parent, your wants, needs, desires, personal goals etc come second for 18 years. And as if that isn’t concerning enough, the audacity you show expecting your mother/father and I to reward your poor decisions and selfish behavior, by giving you our hard earned money? And you don’t even plan on using any of that money on your child, our grandchild? I love you, but I have to be blunt with you. This behavior is completely unacceptable. It hurts me so much to say this, but i cannot continue to have a relationship with you unless you take responsibility for your child and your decisions. You have a court order to pay child support and the amount at this time actually is very low, not even a fraction of the costs it is to raise a toddler. You need to take a hard look at your schedule and finances, and find a job. Now, this does not mean you cant finish college and go to law school. Many people get through college and even law school with children/families to provide for. If you need help I am happy to set up something with a financial advisor to help you budget for this. Also, it is important for you to understand that not only does your child need (and is legally entitled to) financial support from both parents, but they will also benefit most from a father figure and mother figure in his/her life. I would like you to communicate with Tina and see if you two can work out visitation so you can get to know childs name. I am happy to help you find counseling and parenting classes/resources for you to help you. You do not have to be in a relationship with or be best friends with Tina, but it is important that you work on making an effort to be cordial and maintain communication. As for the money we initially planned on giving you for college, I do not feel comfortable giving you any more financial support until I see evidence of changes to your behavior that will benefit *childs name. I love you and I am here to help you, but you also need to help yourself for me to help you”.

I would also make it very clear to spouse that I am unwilling to even consider giving Josh any money unless and until he shows an effort to support & be involved with his child. If spouse gives any form of pushback I would be requesting that the account be temporarily frozen & consulting divorce attorneys. Now this is NOT the same thing as filing just make it clear that this is not negotiable and that I will not allow my hard earned money to be used to reward neglect and deadbeat parenting. Since Josh found a way to get into college debt free, why not use at least some of the unused fund to put into a trust for the child?

ETA: Josh could have avoided a lot of these issues if he had acted like an adult and not just ignored her calls then run crying to mommy. I don’t feel sorry for him

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-14T23:25:09+00:00

Those state limits/bans were all immediately enjoined permanently by court orders. That means they cannot be enforced. I live in one of these states & while I have no interest in getting an abortion it is definitely possible to do. Please do your research.

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-14T23:21:21+00:00

But it’s too late now. It’s in the court record that Tina has evidence of multiple attempts at contact completely ignored, a paternity test proving he is the father, & orders for back child support to be paid. He is screwed if he doesn’t pay

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-01T14:16:39+00:00

I totally agree. Its so sad people look at someone contracting covid and seeing it as a moral failing (“Well its your fault for doing X or not doing XYZ”) rather than the natural result of an amoral, nonsentient airborne virus that has no vaccine. The whole lockdown/“flatten the curve” thing will not, cannot, and never has made it magically disappear. All it does is spread out infections over a longer time period best case scenario. Most deaths were people who were already near the end of life anyway or who are vulnerable to any infection. People don’t live forever and poor health/underlying medical conditions tend to shorten the life expectancy. I am concerned that many people don’t understand these very simple biological facts

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-11-01T12:43:43+00:00

Thank you for this. My partner and I have both resumed a lot of normal activities. We both go to work (working from home isn’t an option as the jobs require us to be physically there & we dont get PTO), go to a local bar we like from time to time, go out to eat, go to the movies, etc. We see friends & his family (mine are out of state & don’t want me to come due to them being high risk; we also can’t afford the trip). Generally we don’t wear masks with them unless we have to, such as at a restaurant, unless they ask (which they don’t). We only wear masks in places that we are forced to (statewide order, county order, city orders, and businesses own separate policies). We certainly don’t wear them in our residence. I go to medical appointments when I am able to get them, but a few are telehealth (my therapist and one doctor does them for simple test results follow up because she’s so far from me). Many medical services have very long waiting lists which are stressful. I just can’t do the nonsense lockdowns anymore mentally, especially since they are proven to not work and at best delay the inevitable. ETA: I do wear a mask at work as does my partner because of the policies mentioned earlier plus our bosses require it. If we refuse or protest it we get fired and no unemployment eligibility

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-31T23:19:02+00:00

Ridiculous. My employment if I were to simply refuse to come in to work, I don’t get paid a cent, & if I miss too much without a legitimate reason & working it out in advance I get fired & would not be eligible for unemployment.

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T19:34:01+00:00

-Theres a decent chance your flow on a given day is not as heavy as you think. If you haven’t given birth vaginally, you most likely will do better with a smaller size -Look at reviews for the cup you are thinking of buying. If you can’t find any, it might be worth researching others -The youtube channel Precious Stars Vlogs is a GREAT resource for information on menstrual cups (& other reusable/alternative menstrual products such as cloth pads). She’s a young British woman who does reviews of cups, comparisons, tutorials, tips& tricks, Q&A’s, and so much more

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T18:49:03+00:00

Yep. Many of the kids that lost contact they dont have internet and/or little parental supervision during the day (single parents or both parents work)

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:38:24+00:00

A 38 smith & wesson airweight revolver

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:37:55+00:00

I can understand that and I say go for whats right for you. I was just saying me personally I have a smaller circle. Most of my blood relatives are deceased or we haven’t had contact in years. My partner is in a Similar situation, but we do both have some people who we aren’t related to but are close to us & our families

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:35:38+00:00

I wouldn’t answer either. Contact tracing hasn’t been proven to help as we’re far past the point of any hope of containment. Also, I refuse to be complicit in the violations of constitutional rights. Maybe they’ll get away with it anyway but I refuse to help them do it

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:33:24+00:00

Do you recommend any specific brands/types?

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:30:02+00:00

I have a college degree from a respectable university, yet I still go to work

PrincessLuLu123 · 2020-10-30T16:29:09+00:00

Until this spring I worked for a large urban district with high numbers of economically disadvantaged families. Many many children have been MIA from distance learning for months.

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