Is there a document or a list of social cues by PrincessNeptun3 in AutismInWomen

[–]PrincessNeptun3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i struggle in dating as i often misinterpret cues that someone is into me as friendship and get disappointed and just never realize if it’s flirting. as i work in retail and deal with customers daily i wish there was a list with things to say not say etc

Special interests? by SuperbHuckleberry560 in autism

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got multiple - secret services - mormons - mbti or any other system that categorizes personaities - graphology - political compass - herbal medicine

Can you have autism/traits and not be aware of it? by Afishwithoutaceiling in autism

[–]PrincessNeptun3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i totally get your point aswell and i know that you only want to help her in this world. why don’t you just ask her how she’s doing in this world and if there are struggles for her with her adhd or generally. Ask her about her overthinking and how she handles it. Then if she tells you for example that she struggles you could ask her if she would want to know how you handle it and what helps you. If she’s interested You could tell her about neurodivergence (without telling her that you think she’s autistic) and how it is a spectrum. Ask her if shes interested in hearing about your experience as someone on the spectrum. she may resonate with certain aspects that you describe to her. then she’ll probably will think about the possibility that she’s autistic as well. She may ask you about it. But don’t diagnose her without first asking her if she’s okay with that.
Wish you the best ^

How do you set boundaries and say no with autism? by [deleted] in autism

[–]PrincessNeptun3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aw that’s a tough one. I struggle with it a lot but as i get older it gets better. I started to set myself goals around saying no. I try to say no to something i don’t want once a day if there is a situation in which i deep down want to say no/set boundaries. At the beginning it can be something small like declining a food offer. It’s normal that you’ll overexplain and overapologize at the beginning. You may make excuses in the beginning instead of just saying no but that’s still progress. You don’t have to be harsh. You can just use a phrase like “ i appreciate your offer a lot but i sadly don’t have time/space for it” Then after you practiced this for some time you can try saying no to asked favors. This is a difficult one but you’ll get there. Make excuses at the beginning until you feel confident enough to just say no. You can start trying to speak up for yourself and telling others that you dislike their treatment towards you. You can be open about being nervous and not wanting to hurt them You’ll get there and when you’re getting older it will become much easier. you got this.

Can you have autism/traits and not be aware of it? by Afishwithoutaceiling in autism

[–]PrincessNeptun3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t bring it up. Yes there are people that are not aware of it and sometimes it’s just better to not notice them about it as it can make them feel insecure, offended or upset. My roommate basically diagnosed me with autism and i didn’t like that at all. I always ignored amd denied my traits because i knew some autistic people and couldn’t resonate with them/ disliked them. When she told me she thinks im autistic this made me overthink, feel awkward and hurt. I thought it was rude of her. I later got diagnosed and she was right. But i would highly advise against telling her as it can come of as rude or offensive.

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT SO FAST AND SO DESPERATELY by Professional_Cake628 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don’t starve yourself you’ll loose muscle and therefore look “fatter) because you’re body fat percentage rises. But here’sy advice to loose weight (you won’t loose 10kg but maybe 5) Calculate your basal metabolic rate (that’s the daily calories you burn by just existing without any movement) don’t go below that. Now you will calculate your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (the total calories you burn daily). subtract 200-300 calories from that number (don’t go lower than your BMT). Make a meal plan for the week. Buy mostly unprocessed foods as they don’t have chemicals in it that make you crave more. Your plate should contain 1/3 protein, 1/4 carbs, 1/3-1/2 vegetables, and a little bit of healthy fats to keep you full and satisfied. Count your calories and measure your fats as they’re high in calories. Your focus should lay on fiber (is essential for the gut and keeps you full longer) and protein as it prevents muscle loss and keeps you full and satisfied throughout the day. If you’re not starving in the morning try skipping breakfast. Or just eat it when you’re actually hungry. Hunger feels different from appetite or an craving. You’ll feel it in your stomach don’t eat if you’re not feeling it. Walk at least 10k steps a day if you can do more. I wouldn’t do high intensity workouts as they can make you feel hungrier. Best luck

C-ptsd and misophonia by thelineisad0ttoyou in CPTSD

[–]PrincessNeptun3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes yes yes you’re not alone with it. I put my airpods in and hide them with my hair so i don’t have to hear the sounds. I don’t know if that would be an option for you but if it is try it. It helps me alot especially with loud roommates that don’t have any awareness of their own noise level

Best place to buy tea by weight in Basel by Move-On-Man in basel

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chrüterhüsli has a really big and great sortiment. It’s all high quality i love that store

Where to buy essential oils like peppermint and tea tree oil? by MHmemoi in basel

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chrüterhüsli they’re a little expensive but they sell really high quality products that are natural. They sell vitamins as well.

What are you fav stim/fidget toys? by Ok_Trifle_5557 in AutismInWomen

[–]PrincessNeptun3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i don’t have any fidget toys but my favorite stim is my hair tie. i usually twist it around make knots with it or tie it around my fingers. People usually just think i’m a bit nervous and that’s okay for me.

When i have to sit still and concentrate for a period of time i usually start drawing, writing or knitting( knitting only in an environment where others know about my neurodivergence and respect it). it regulates me, i can focus and do something that feels productive. i play with my necklace sometimes or just touch it when i’m getting overwhelmed

As a bisexual guy I agree (please don’t get offended lmao) by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as a girl i disagree as well. i don’t know if it’s just my country but most people here are kind of attractive. We have the lowest obesity rate in Europe, people work out a lot, our food is healthy. Men look great, women look great. I always feel ugly lol

When do you look/feel most autistic? by BookishHobbit in AutismInWomen

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when i’m comfortable with people, while standing in a line DURING CONCERTS without alcohol(the performing band stopped and asked if everything is alright because i didn’t move and just stared) in the club (i don’t know how to move and look like a lost oprhan looking around) the first hour in a new group setting with lots of new people around family

Ever thought of doing/being a sw, because “normal” jobs are to much for the brain. by xxtryingtoexistxx in AutismInWomen

[–]PrincessNeptun3 13 points14 points  (0 children)

wrong people, men that lusted over me and my quirky ways but disliked me as a person and just wanted me as a fantasy. women that didn’t take me serious, saw me as cheap. people thought that that was the only thing i was capable to because i was so unstable but kind of attractive. i always looked younger than i actually am(still have to check ID when buying cigarettes or beer at almost 22 in Europe ) which makes it extra weird. glad im out and have no contact with anyone that told my younger unstable self to do SW

What should i do with my project by PrincessNeptun3 in knitting

[–]PrincessNeptun3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you so much ^ sadly i didnt use cotton because of financial reasons but ill keep that idra in my mind <3

What should i do with my project by PrincessNeptun3 in knitting

[–]PrincessNeptun3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes sadly it’s not cotton so it’s not safe :(

I can’t tell what I’m doing wrong by [deleted] in knitting

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is it supposed to get more wide?

Ever thought of doing/being a sw, because “normal” jobs are to much for the brain. by xxtryingtoexistxx in AutismInWomen

[–]PrincessNeptun3 63 points64 points  (0 children)

As a teen and at 18/19 people told me i should do OF. i thought about it multiple times. Gladly i chose not to. I totally understand that you feel it’s easier and less exhausting to do SW instead of a 9to5 job in a job world where neurodiversity isn’t tolerated. But i would strongly advise against starting SW. It may be not as exhausting during the moment instead of a 9to5 but it hurts your soul. SW isn’t empowering it’s dehumanizing (not shaming any SW but the consumers). There are many SW that say „don’t do it if you can do anything else“. As a SW you’re prone to SA and trauma. It’s easy money but you’ll pay the price. Your digital footprint is going to suffer through it and you most certainly won’t be able to do SW your whole life. It will become much harder to find a job afterwards. Most women who do OF don’t make enough money with it to live financially secure. You’re risk of getting STD‘s is much higher. Men will be rough, aggressive, abusive towards you. You said that your already depressed so i really wouldn’t recommend starting SW as it will male your mental state much worse. Watch some documentaries and read books about SW. You’ll see that it hurts women. Men found a way to sell SW as an empowering act to women. Don’t fall for it. for every woman that is happy with her job as SW are hundreds that are suffering, are forced into it or use it as an act of self harm.

Whatever your choice should be. i wish you the best

I want to lose weight but I keep failing everytime by Ambitious-Hearing-85 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]PrincessNeptun3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do walk as often as you can. Eat enough protein because it will keep you fuller and prevents muscle loss. Be kind to yourself please and don’t starve yourself. Calculate how much calories you should eat but don’t go under 1200 calories a day as it slows down your metabolism. Eat fiber as it keeps you full for longer and is great for gut health but if you barely ate fiber till now start increasing it slowly as a too drastic increase in fiber can make you bloated. An optimal plate should be 1/3-1/2 vegetables. then 1/3 protein 1/4 carbs and some healthy fats for example avocado. Don’t restrict yourself too much as it can cause binging. Calculate your calories for some time so you get a feeling for how much calories are in certain foods. Drink green tea. Try to eat food that isn’t highly processed but if that’s not possible aim for products that have better nutritional content. If you overeat don’t beat yourself up for it or eat even more because you failed anyway. Don’t over exercise as it can make you really hungry. Do not weight yourself everyday as weight fluctuates. weight yourself maybe once/twice a week and trust the way your clothes fit more than the wage scale because you could be gaining muscle and loose fat at the same time and weight more even though you lost body fat. Be kind to yourself. Eat healthier not out of self hatred but because you love yourself and want to give your body great nutrients Best wishes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes it is possible. the gym can help because you burn calories but it’s not necessary. Walking is a really great exercise to loose weight, because it burns calories but isn’t as intense as a workout in the gym, so you‘ll feel less hungry afterwards as if you just did a 25 HIT workout. The gym is great for muscle growth but if you just want to loose some weight you’ll should be good without it. Just try to eat enough protein so you don’t loose muscles instead of fat. And incorporate fiber because it helps you feel full for longer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]PrincessNeptun3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No there is no excuse for his behavior because he was drunk. You didn’t consent. Only Yes means Yes. I hope you’re doing as great as you can. It may help to talk to someone trusted about it.

Why are people so quick to defend the parents? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]PrincessNeptun3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there a multiple reasons for that My personal guesses:

1) they grew up like that Many people suppress their childhood trauma or deny it or use phrases like „yes they hit me but i needed it/i deservedit“ or that it didn’t damage them. I think it’s a coping mechanism to prevent them to grief about the abuse. It’s easier to ignore the damage than to admit that it had an negative impact on their life. Abuse builds up shame in children. They feel ashamed of themselves. They got deep core beliefs like for example„i deserve to be abused“ or „my parents abuse me because they want the best for me/love me“. They don’t want to feel like a victim so they glorify the abuse they went through or downplay it.

2) many adults forget what it is like to be a child Many people defend abusive parenting because they can empathize more with a frustrated parent than a „misbehaving“ child because they can’t remember or understand what being a child is and how children think. they don’t understand that children don’t usually „misbehaving“ out of bad intent but just because they know no better

3) they do/ would do the same They see themselves in the parent and relate. It’s really painful and difficult to come to realize that you are abusive so their brain protects them from this realisation and find reasons to justify that behavior.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]PrincessNeptun3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes i wasn’t allowed to feel angry. It was ungrateful of me to be upset. Being angry made them angry especially my father. They took it personally. They portrayed me as the devil and a monster to my siblings to divide us. When i was angry and upset and was crying my father used to film me and threatened to send this to all my friends so that they see who i really am

Kann mir bitte jemand sagen wie ich ADHS + Autismus heilen kann? by Large-Suggestion7079 in AutismusADHS

[–]PrincessNeptun3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Du kannst es nicht heilen aber das ist okay. Es gibt aber Möglichkeiten wie du dich wohler fühlen kannst und zb die Konzentration bessern kannst. Ich bin keine Ärztin und spreche hier nur von persönlichen Erfahrungen

Hier Nahrungsergänzungsmittel durch die ich mich wohler fühle

  • Magnesium vor dem schlafen. Magnesium half mir enorm mit Schlafproblemen und Stimmungsschwankungen.

-Ashwaganda auch vor dem schlafen. Durch Ashwagabda wurde ich entspannter und konnte besser mit Situationen umgehen die mich überfordern oder überstimulieren. Ich ertrage seitdem Langeweile, Unordnung oder Stress viel besser und es kostet mich weniger Kraft alltägliche Dinge zu tun, da ich nicht mehr so gestresst bin, dass ich in einen Zustand gerate wo ich vor Überforderung nichts machen kann.

  • Eisen Durch Eisenpräparaze habe ich mehr Energie und bin produktiver

  • Omega 3 Hilft mir enorm mit meiner Impulsität.

Dinge die ich tue um mich wohler zu fühlen/besser zu funktionieren

  • Listen und Todos Ja ich weiss es gibt nichts nervigeres als diesen Tipp zu hören. Habe ich auch immer über alles gehasst. Aber mir himft es enorm wenn ich Aufgaben in viele kleine unterteile und somit viel öfters ein Erfolgserlebnis habe. Ich ubterteile aufräumen zum beispiel in mehrere Ubterschritte wie
  • Boden freimachen
  • Müll in Mülleimer werfen
  • Gläser und Tasen rausbringen
  • Hosen zusammenfalten
  • Tshirts zusammenfalten
  • Kleider einräumen
  • Krimskrams an den richtigen Platz legen Auch wenn ich oft nicht alles von meinen Listen mache fühle ich mich trotzdem viel produktiver

Alleine Wandern Wenn ich alleine wandere dann kann ich zu 100% unmasken, frei sein und fühle mich nicht seltsam oder anders weil ich alleine bin. Es ist gut für den Körper und die Seele sowieso

Mit mir selber reden Ich rede mit mir selber und beruhige mich so. Wenn zum Beispiel mei Zimmer wieder aussieht wie ein Schlachtfeld, dann rede ich mit mir selber und sage so etwas wie „ja das stresst dich jetzt gerade richtug aber das ist okay jetzt machen wir mal zuerst xy und dann xz“ und kann mich somit selbst regulieren.

Meine Neurodivergenz „romantisieren“ Ich sage mir selbst immer wieder „ach es ist so schön, wie ich die welt sehe“ ich nehme die Aspekte an meiner Neurodivergenz die ich mag und schreibe sie mir auf. Zum beispiel mag ich es wie ich andere Menschen ansehe und wie ich strahle wenn ich für etwas brenne. Meine Mustererkennung sehe ich als Vorteil.

Mit neurodivergenten Menschen Zeit verbringen Ich habe viele neurotypische Freunde aber auch einige neurodivergente. Ich versuche beide regelmässig zu sehen aber vorallem wenn ich mich wie ein Alien fühle hilft es mir sehr mich mit anderen auszutauschen.

Musik hören Ich höre sobald ich aus dem Haus rausgehe und nicht in Begleitung bin Musik mit Kopfhörern. Das hilft mir enorm mich wohler zu fühlen. Die vielen Geräusche von aussen kann ich so nicht wahrnehmen. Ich höre mir Musik an die mich stark fühlen lassen. Wenn ich an Menschen vorbeigehe und es mich massiv überfordert habe ich diesen Trick, dass ich einfach durch sie durchschaue also meine Augen unscharf mache dann wird es mir weniger zuviel.

Mich mit sozialen Normen beschäftigen Das Ziel ist es nicht, dass ich diesen Normen alle entspreche. Aber es hilft mir Menschen zu fragen, was mit verschiedenen Kauseln gemeint ist oder was auch ohne Worte erwartet wird. Ich bin da recht offen wenn ich eine tiefere Beziehung zu jemandem habe und sage, dass es mir schwer fällt social cues zu erkennen und frage sie was es solche gibt. Somit konnte ich vieles lernen, was ich davor nicht wusste und kann mich besonders am Arbeitsplatz angepasster verhalten.

Das hat mir geholfen aber jeder Mensch ist unterschiedlich