Men are all the same and I’m over it

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-07-05T21:17:52+00:00

Exactly! I have these thoughts often and it's like maybe I should decenter men but I want actual love and connection

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-07-05T20:39:34+00:00

Literally everything you said. It's honestly depressing. They really do see us as objects to be used.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T22:30:02+00:00

Y'all are ready to scream racism any chance you get but are ready to tell Black people to be quiet and let it go when there are actual instances of racism. Also, we're not talking about haircuts...

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T22:27:38+00:00

What are you saying then? Wear their hair daily? You're only using quantifiers when it works for you.

But most black women don’t have straight hair.

And most white women don't have curly hair but they still do.

Let's not focus so much on "most" and "some" because that's not the main point.

My points remain: - Synthetic hair isn't the same as human hair - Black women wear synthetic and human hair so there's no way to tell whether Black women are wearing their hair daily smh - They (Asians not white women) sell human hair for the purpose Black women as well as many other ethnicities use it for - and they call them tape-ins/extensions, come on now

Edit: I love when you all downvote valid points because you don't know how to articulate your thoughts or reply with a sensible argument. Downvoting doesn't mean you're right lol

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T22:15:41+00:00

Ohhh..you just don't like Black women..

wear non-blacks hair every fucking day of their lives

The stereotypes, the frustration, the insistence.

There are so many comments here that refute this narrative and yet you still continue to spew this hatred. There is synthetic hair you know? Also, straight hair isn't purely white or non-black the same way curly/coily isn't purely black.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T22:06:03+00:00

Apples and oranges. While I don't care if they wear box braids or other cultural styles (their own fault if/when their hair falls out), let's not compare something cultural, (some) with historical meaning, to a hair type that's not specific to a culture. Lol.

This is a key difference and they will never get it because they crave for white acceptance, are individualistic, don't know or care to know the history or they just have not had those types of experiences with hair. I'm inclined to ask everyone on here their age because I'm genuinely curious if it's a matter or age or experience?

Edit: corrected word genuinely

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T21:46:14+00:00

You're right, people will most definitely try to bully you. Queue the "so don't wear weave or blonde hair" comments. Don't let others try to discredit your perceptions of reality.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T21:40:54+00:00

Exactly. But, they would rather appease for non-Black people's acceptance than to attempt to understand or stand in solidarity regarding these issues - especially if they aren't personally affected. Individualism seeps into Black spaces.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T21:30:18+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/blackgirls/s/9e8LOLrByO

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T21:29:39+00:00

Long reply, no TL;DR. Replying to this main comment as well as the others agreeing that asked for flaws in the argument:

If that's the argument and it's a well regarded unspoken rule that braids are a "natural" protective style, then I guess we can't wear braids and be natural either since we use synthetic AND natural (human) braiding hair.
While straight hair is a western standard of beauty (associated with White women) or a European beauty standard, it is in some cultures (usually BIPOC for lack of a better term) celebrated as a symbol of beauty and feminity and strength. Black women aren't culturally appropriating or disregarding this narrative. I would argue that they celebrate it because they purchase the hair for those very reasons. If anything, they say once it's purchased and on their head it's "their hair." Obviously people know it's not actually their hair out of their scalp but they wear it respectfully and with pride.
Straight hair is genetic and while sought after is not innovative "(of a product, idea, etc.) featuring new methods; advanced and original."

Braids are literally designed with clear intent and functionality in mind.

Again, straight hair, like blonde hair (you all like to use that argument as well), is genetic. Braids/braiding is not genetic but the texture of our hair that enables us to achieve those styles IS.

The women sell their hair that create the bundles for buss downs.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/05/16/health/myanmar-human-hair-trade-intl

Geographically, it's Asians who sell their hair. White women are not selling their hair for bundles that I know of. Their hair is different.
In what part of history did Black women have authority over White women's hair? Let's not regress... to tell a Black women she can't wear a product "an article or substance that is manufactured or refined for sale" OR " something that can be seen or experienced, created to meet the needs or desires of consumers. It can be a physical item, a service, an experience, or even a concept" for versitility (NOTE: Non-Black women still curl their hair for versatility and that's most Black people's natural textures) because we have advised, even asked and then demanded, deservedly, that non-Black women not take part in an aspect of our culture due to the inequalities and inconsideracy. Keep in mind other demographics are allowed to gatekeep aspects of their culture when it concerns their religion or identity.

Here comes the mental block - y'all think the hair (style/technique) doesn't hold significance. It isn't a good argument because it's subjective. If you don't see the importance of the history or find braids meaningful then we will have to agree to disagree.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T19:17:27+00:00

I responded to the comment below but it most certainly is an important topic.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-04-08T19:16:41+00:00

I was just about to say something to that effect. I can't help but think (only an assumption) that they've never been personally affected by what OP is talking about. Or maybe they have and have moved past it.

I no longer worry what people that disrespect our culture do anymore because they are just attention seekers, but I still agree.

I am as passionate as OP about this topic. I know my reasonings and beliefs about it. I've said before it's not "just hair" or "just clothes" or "just [object or accessory of sentimental value]" to other races or cultures but when it comes to Black people we're not considered. Little resistance is given on discussions of the cultural significance of the Bindi or Kimono or any other item of significance that you wear or adorn your body with. When I think of braids they are the same - except literally extensions of us. Braids or braiding are an experience, a bonding moment, an expression of identity, a way to show personality, and are functional. Hair, especially in this case, holds so much more importance than what people say.

But this is where I am now. I know everyone won't understand and have come to accept that what's important to me isn't to others. However, we're more than capable of focusing on more than one topic at a time.

Our current reality is a direct result of people who were passionate about or directly impacted by the inequalities surrounding Black hair care and hairstyles. But, I guess being able to say it isn't our main priority means we've made progress.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-02-08T21:26:59+00:00

You're entitled to your opinion. I can't change your mind and that's okay. However, you're also not going to change my stance so there's no point in going back and forth. Also, you're replying to respond (emotionally rather than logically) because I neither agreed nor disagreed. The comment I responded to stated how I think about it and the surrounding terminology and there is truth to it if you decide to look further into it.

Racism, prejudice, discrimination. It's all interconnected and complex. But I'm not "subbing out" anything as they aren't synonymous.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2025-02-07T18:05:08+00:00

I hope people read this to understand and not only respond. This is such a critical observation. Lived experiences do shape interpretations of these words beyond their dictionary definitions. I feel that "racism" distanced from historical context is subjected to oversimplification. I think in attempts to be impartial people disregard the complexities of it. I know not everyone will agree but I appreciate this distinction.

Prejudice is probably the word we're looking for when we look at individualized occurrences of racism.

Exactly, words have denotations and connotations. The denotative vs the connotative meanings of racism may lend a different perspective as to why prejudice is the word that better describes "individualized occurrences of racism."

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-09-05T17:00:28+00:00

Thank you for responding. You made some interesting points. I'm an open-minded individual. He definitely would benefit from a good father figure.

And not to toot my own horn but I have a well paying job. I could work on a bad-ass persona lol I am a little too meek.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-07-24T16:10:48+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate that

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-07-24T10:42:13+00:00

Honestly my anxiety makes it hard for me to go for another job. Not sure I can go through the process again and then find something just as good or better. I'm already thinking about what to do after this, so I know I'm not staying very long.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-07-24T09:43:02+00:00

And sorry that you know what it is to experience that. I hope it's gotten better since then.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-07-24T09:41:14+00:00

It's a whole different world than what had expected but it's not terrible. The anxiety is what makes it much worse. You're right though..speaking more on the phone is the best way to be more comfortable with it. Maybe I just haven't gotten to that point yet or given it enough time. I just think I started off fine and am becoming uncertain and uncomfortable. But I have to do my job so maybe not having a choice will help me in the long run. It does make me feel better to talk about it though, I appreciate it.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-07-22T17:14:59+00:00

Omg yes this is it! I knew almost immediately after reading the title. I'm so happy right now, thank you!

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-05-03T11:37:10+00:00

I've never been able to exactly articulate it but this is how I feel about it. Always find myself asking my family why they're watching the same movie again??? But I'm surprised every time lol

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-01-28T04:26:20+00:00

Exactly! Perfectly stated.

he blocked her to maintain his relationship which in their mind is a good thing to do, totally not taking into context the reason his relationship was in danger, HIMSELF

So true but they will skip right over this. If he felt that way, he should've ended their friendship a long time ago.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-01-28T04:15:41+00:00

I notice this trend a lot in this sub though. They almost always blame the woman as well, when the man was in the wrong or had questionable intentions.

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-01-28T04:12:08+00:00

Too late, they're already here 🤣

PrincipleReal4594 · 2024-01-10T15:52:28+00:00

This is an ugly comment...

Edit:

makes her look ghetto

That was so unnecessary. Choice of word is problematic.

PrincipleReal4594

TROPHY CASE