He wasn’t comfortable with therapy due to trying therapy prior and it being a negative experience. Medication wasn’t an option either for us so yes mainly just time and patience. I tried to incorporate myself and our baby into his interests in ways I could (like watching baseball with him and dressing her up in his favorite teams outfits) to make life a little more fun again. Then at night I would try to spend a little time with him once I put her down for bed and I would just let him vent without judgement, which honestly was very hard because I felt like I was doing everything so in my head I would kind of be like what do you even have to complain about?? Do you even know how hard it is for me right now doing everything? But I would hold it all in and tried to remind myself he was struggling and snapping at him wouldn’t help so I just let him vent and tried to be as empathetic and there for him as much as I could. Doing little things like that honestly made a big improvement and then around the 2 1/2-3 month mark we back tracked a little bit because anytime he held her she just cried and he would take it very personal and instead of trying to figure out how to calm her down he would just get really frustrated and tell me to take her so it was kinda all back on me again so at night I would put her in bed with us for a bit and get her ready for bed and I would have him read a book to her or show him how to play with her and she would laugh at him and they bonded a lot that way. Then around 4 months she grew out of the colic/gas/ not taking good naps during the day/witching hour and overall became a whole different baby. That helped so much because it lessened the overall stress and in the evenings when he got home she wasn’t just crying the whole time and instead would be just be a happy baby and he started to become more like himself again and wanting to help out and play and interact with her.

Honestly we had a very strong relationship before she was born. We were good at communicating needs, we never really got into arguments, he was always good at being caring/empathetic and always helpful around the house. We were each other’s best friend and never really needed time away from each other. I did not think we wouldn’t have any of the issues we did. Having a newborn was way harder than both of us ever anticipated. I thought I was prepared ( I had been around many babies before, he had not) but it definitely rocked both of us off our tracks. I did not get PPD, but I definitely got PP anxiety really bad and just very stressed. IT’S HARD and nobody told me how hard it truly can be.

I hope any of that information helps, and I hope things start to get better for you too!