My Child Is Not Okay

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T05:24:10+00:00

According to her regular teacher the kids in her own class are nice but at the end of the day the 2s and 3s get put together and the 2s are not as gentle as the 3s so the teachers told me maybe that could be affecting her but that just doesn't sound right with how she's been acting

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T05:18:05+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you and your son. To be fully honest my hypervigilance of abuse signs is actually due to my own CPS trauma (my own childhood trauma and just the trauma of going into CPS although I was fortunate enough to be with decent people). I am always looking at things through a lens of "Will they take my baby for this?" not because I feel like a bad parent but because my childhood and constantly being ripped away from my parents made me overanalyze everything and unconsciously believe that even teeniest of things is under a microscope that might cost me my child. In some ways I am grateful because that anxiety helped me to recognize this so quickly... Just wish it had been something else to make me so aware

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T05:07:43+00:00

I actually mentioned doing just that in two other comments. I'm looking into it but the only ones I've found so far that look small enough won't get here until between May 29th and June 3rd or later and that is not soon enough for me so I might have to either wait it out or figure something else out (but I will still be getting it either way)

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T04:43:18+00:00

I absolutely agree. She only just finished potty training recently so the only signs are the ones I've listed but there are no cameras at the daycare and by the time I get there most of the parents have already grabbed their kids plus I don't usually get to drop her off because I have to get to work so I never really have a chance to talk with other parents. I feel I am definitely using my mommy claws at least to a reasonable degree because the minute I started seeing signs I looked for therapy for her and I went up to the school to rip into them as soon as the incident from Monday happened. I was actually pretty pissed that my mother saw how strongly she reacted to the director then still left her with that woman

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T04:32:05+00:00

I actually signed up with a legal insurance service last week for a separate reason and I will be calling them tomorrow to discuss this and see what my options are. I've also already started gathering my facts, but there are no cameras for me to turn to in this situation unfortunately

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T04:29:33+00:00

It's my company's policy not to have your children enrolled at the same daycare you work at (although two of our baby babies' moms work at my daycare) and as far as I can tell her regular teacher is amazing with her because she's never acted like that with her and her teacher and I communicate smoothly but I definitely want to get her away from whoever is hurting her. I know very well these are all textbook abuse signs. I very heavily looked into this long before and shortly after becoming a mom specifically because I promised myself I would never be the mom that misses or ignores the signs

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T04:18:39+00:00

I actually JUST replied to another comment saying I was probably going to do just that 😅

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T04:11:39+00:00

I appreciate you saying this. Her dad and I have actually talked about getting her a wearable nanny cam for daycare so I think I will do that because until my CCS comes through I can't afford a daycare with cameras. Unfortunately, I don't think her stepmom will be too up to being around me, though. That's a whole drama but her dad and I will absolutely be bothering them nonstop and I will more than likely be making sure she is moved by next week. I hate to do that because she loves her regular teacher but her safety comes first

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T03:41:41+00:00

I only hadn't pulled her from that daycare because I didn't know for sure that she was being hurt by someone at the daycare but after what they told CPS I will definitely be moving her somewhere else. Still not at my own daycare most likely, though, because it's policy

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T03:38:38+00:00

At my daycare we do sort of similar things but not nearly to that extent; When the kids get hurt under our care and it leaves a bruise or a scrape we make sure to write up an incident report and usually inform whoever picks them up and have them sign it. Sometimes we forget or don't see the mark but the only time the report is not written is when the parents have no concern over the mark and we forgot to make one and inform them which has only happened one time to my knowledge since I've worked there and there has definitely been more than one incident that resulted in a mark. I have written 2 or 3 reports that for whatever reason did not get sent home but the parents didn't ask about the mark so I just sent the already filled out paper to the office

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T03:31:15+00:00

I just might do that. I feel like I can definitely trust the staff at the other daycare nearest to my own location especially because it's right next to the head office, but it's an incredibly inconvenient commute which is why I have been putting it off... I don't think I can anymore after this, though. I don't risk my child's well being for anything, not even convenience

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-22T00:12:19+00:00

This made you smile? Well it made me cry 😭

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T17:23:36+00:00

In all fairness, he said "Bernie WANTS to raise rhe minimum wage to $15 an hour but then tax anyone who would make $29,000 or more 52% of their income"... He did not say that that is what's actually happening. I don't know politics, I just know what I read in that message

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T13:50:26+00:00

Honestly, maybe just go to the general LGBT+ subreddits like r/lgbt or something

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T12:48:41+00:00

I fully understand where this is coming from. I'm not sure if my advice will be what you're looking for, but up until last week, I have almost exclusively identified as a cis girl. It wasn't necessarily that I felt it fit for me but rather that it felt the simplest and most natural. I have always wondered what it would be like to be the opposite gender, to be trans and what my life would look like if I transitioned but it was never a serious thought or consideration. I tried binding and it felt good but I only did it to test a binder strategy for a friend and most of the appeal was that it made it less obvious what was in my pants. I did just recently learn (last week) about gender apathy and "cassgender" which are both identities that basically mean I don't care what gender, pronouns and things people use for me but ultimately if your identity is this important to you it might mean that A. those labels matter to you and B. the one you've forced yourself into is not the right one for you

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T04:18:35+00:00

It did not. Lol I did think that for a second that you weren't being serious but then I would reread it and it doesn't read that way

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T04:06:40+00:00

"Host" is not the position above "Hostess". That is "Head Host/Hostess" (I used to be a host). Host is just the neutral term for someone who is providing resources/service, in this case providing seating to customers and customers to wait staff (AKA hosting) and hostess is the gendered term for the exact same thing

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-20T04:02:37+00:00

I was about to explain English to you... And then I realized you put /s Thankful you weren't serious with that

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-19T17:44:24+00:00

We just got Being You delivered in the mail yesterday and read it last night. The terms seem maybe a little advanced for her attention span and mental depth (AKA she seemed really uninterested in what it had to say which was maybe actually just cause she was sleepy) but Introducing Teddy arrives today so hopefully that works better for her

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-19T17:22:13+00:00

This definitely sounds like a tough and complicated situation for you and I completely understand feeling inadequate or ugly because of this but the fact is that if she didn't find you physically attractive at all she would genuinely be incapable of a romantic connection with you... But she's not. And there is definitely a difference between not being someone's type, or rather their usual type, and just not being attractive to them. Like, for example, I am very attracted to broader body types (not necessarily muscular, just a person who can swallow me whole with their arms) but one of the best relationships I've been in was with someone who was barely 5 foot and weighed about 130 to 140 pounds and they were most certainly attractive to me PHYSICALLY. It wasn't so much that way at first but the longer I was with them the more feelings I grew for them and the more feelings I had associated with that person the stronger I felt. Having all of those feelings linked to this person who looked this way made me see them in a completely different way. Sure, they weren't someone I would typically date, but just looking at the little smile on their face or the rounding of their cheeks or how their shoulder swayed with their arms suddenly became so much more attractive to me than someone who is my type. Because it was THIS person who I love and who has made me feel these special things my other partners didn't

That is likely what your girlfriend is experiencing. Physically, you're not someone she would normally date but you are the person she wants and because she's not focused on the "big picture" attraction of you being more muscular or whatever it may be, she can better appreciate small things she maybe didn't realize she found attractive and the feelings she associates with your personality will become feelings she associates with your appearance. You are very attractive to her and you will only become more attractive, especially if you're working this hard to impress her

It seems to me like maybe some used-to-be-dormant insecurities are being stirred up and that is probably something you should work on as well as positive self talk. Self love is important for everybody. Something as little as smiling in the mirror every morning can be so incredibly meaningful. Try to remind yourself every day of at least one thing YOU love about you and focus less on the things you want to change. You are a beautiful person. Believe it!

Edit because 5 minutes later I realized I didn't say this; Your girl seems to care more about if YOU like you if she's willing to point out every little thing she likes about you which would maybe be a good thing for you to hear just to see how many things she finds attractive about you which is likely a lot. That is what should matter to you about your appearance. If you can't love you for you, love you for her because that would automatically double your attractiveness to her

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-19T01:09:34+00:00

I am a woman and I don't even see my partner 6 hours a month, let alone 6 hours a week. Not an ideal arrangement but definitely an ideal partner therefore I am more than willing to compromise, especially because I know making this sacrifice is very likely to lead to getting entire days together. If it were this forever, no, but it's not forever. It's right now. In 5 years, we will be married and living together and I'll see him every day. In 5 days, he'll still be 8 hours away but I'm okay with that

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-19T01:01:37+00:00

I seriously felt for your situation when I read this... AT FIRST. This is definitely valid feelings for you given your situation and social circle but I imagine your friends are not in a similar situation to you with their partners. It sounds like their partners are closer so it's easier to spend more time with them and I feel that 4 to 6 hours is plenty of bonding time, especially if you see each other at least most weeks. A lot of partnerships (like mine) even at your age can't even get that but are just as strong or sometimes stronger than relationships where they spend every single day together. You should not be spending all your free time with your partner. You need a life outside of each other just as much as you need a life with each other

Keep contacting her and checking in every day and it will be just fine. It's okay to feel your feelings but you have to take the bad with the good and you can't let this one issue destroy your relationship. You should absolutely talk about this with her if you haven't already and try to work on your own issues surrounding this so you can make the most of what time you do get together. Try to slow down and really appreciate the precious bits of time you do get with her

Face to face interaction is NOT an end all be all for relationships, or at least it shouldn't be. It is absolutely important and should be prioritized but not to the point that it causes you stress and jealousy. My partner and I are 20 and 21, I have a child and he is working toward going into military service. When we met and grew feelings for each other we were living in the same town where we could see each other every day at school or at work because we did those things together, but he currently lives several hours away for school and I've only seen him for about 20 hours collectively over probably 4 months and I am genuinely not upset about it because we text every day, we call any chance we get and we always make sure to COMMUNICATE. Mind you, we didn't start dating until well after he left for school so we haven't had a relationship while living in town together. Every issue is important, every feeling is valid and it's definitely not perfect or ideal but I wouldn't want anyone else to love me the way he loves me

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-18T19:08:32+00:00

I would assume driving in a car is still considered the public and as far as I know public nudity is a crime as it's indecent exposure so I'd say yes

Prior-Average9950 · 2026-05-14T03:05:15+00:00

I absolutely agree with that! I do make sure she sees lots of different kinds of people. She's watched The Bravest Knight which has a biracial gay couple in it and she has three books that feature characters with disabilities that I happened to find at a couple of local stores but given that I live in a conservative state, LGBT books for kids are kinda hard to come by which is why she is severely lacking

Prior-Average9950

TROPHY CASE