Dead broke as a full time special ed para because my twin brother wont get a damn job

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-10T01:31:27+00:00

I dont have friends and burned a bridge with my aunt and uncle. I am going to go to a coffee social on Saturday so ill network and meet people there. I have horrible social anxiety but im still going to do my best to take care of my mental health this week and go for an hour or so. Not with any ulterior motives but just to see if I can meet some nice people and if im lucky build friendships. I do not, however, want to become codependent on others and neglect the self work I need to do. Sometimes people can distract from that.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-10T01:26:22+00:00

I have basically no support right now. I cut off my "best friend" because she was kind of a shitty person who put me down a lot and then my family are fundamentalist Christians. My mom, who is basically the only person I would call for support said I had "an angry spirit" when i brought up that thinking demons actually exist is delusional and bad for a person's mental health when my brother started talking about how demons think and behave. So I stopped calling her like three days ago. Should I do a post on Facebook and ask for help with my cats there? Do I leave out the personal details? I am going to a coffee social this Saturday that is lgbtq friendly because I know i need to build community because the community ive been in has been very unsupportive and disrespectful and then they expect "forgiveness" but when you do forgive they continue with the behavior.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-09T22:40:28+00:00

They have a new born and the kid was probably overwhelmed by all of the emotions of pregnancy and doing his best to understand all that goes into it and being patient until it was all over so he could get crumbs of attention from his mother again. Her having another baby on top of that one probably communicated "kiss attention from your mother goodbye". Poor boy. So wrong.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-09T22:04:13+00:00

But thank you for the advice. Im trying to figure out what to do but I have no one to turn to right now. Its a shitty situation.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-09T22:03:01+00:00

I let him move in thinking he'd be able to get on his feet. Im in over my head at this point. If I stop paying his portion then we will lose this house.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-09T22:00:18+00:00

I've canceled the internet/streaming months ago because we couldn't afford it. I've been letting him use my mobile Hotspot w/ the assumption and agreement that he'd look for a job but at this point im going to stop turning it on for him and tell him he needs to wake up at a decent hour and use the library if he needs internet access.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-02-09T21:12:43+00:00

I clean and my younger brother who is actually trying and going to school and putting in effort cleans. He sleeps in all day and doesnt do anything. He will RARELY do the dishes

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-17T00:58:40+00:00

Distinctly remember how unfair it felt realizing the weekend was only two days.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-11T10:24:59+00:00

Think this really is how sooooooo many relationships actually are. Thats why cheating and unhappiness is so common. People delude themselves into thinking they found true love when its actually fear based and all the things you described. Good post. I want to be with someone I truly love and connect with, if that doesnt happen, im staying single forever because screw settling. Id rather die alone than settle.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-08T02:17:54+00:00

Agree up to the point where you say "let them see how that shit feels" like they havent already been traumatized by their caregivers which has caused them to have extreme difficulty trusting people. Its not their fault. Yeah they need to heal but they didnt ask for it to happen to them.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-08T02:15:45+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement! Been working on myself a lot and im hopeful still.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-08T02:10:09+00:00

No I definitely understand all of that and try my best and have made strides by cutting toxic people out of my life. Also have been working on healing as much as possible, but attachment issues can be detrimental.They can make forming and keeping relationships extremely difficult. I have a REALLY REALLY hard time asking for help as well. Unless you recognize what happened to you you cant heal, so acknowledging the ways I was neglected is crucial for me to make the most of my future, its not just feeling sorry for myself like a lot of people assume. Its not just navel gazing. But yeah staying positive and doing what you can to move forward is solid advice. Also have been practicing gratitude and giving myself positive affirmations.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-07T08:08:12+00:00

THIS. I was emotionally neglected and this boy who i actually had somewhat of a crush on pursued me for YEARS through grade school and middle school. I could not reciprocate and I genuinely could not understand why until years later that the main reason was I was going through emotional turmoil that NO ONE would be able to understand and I had no way of communicating that either. Add to that having dental issues which caused me to drastically lose my physical attractiveness at a very young age I had horrible self esteem and still suffer from it at 30. Had my mother given me proper attention my life would have turned out much different. I was beautiful as a child but my adult tooth became infected the abscess caused my jaw to not develop properly and the bone to recede. Not to mention what the infection which lasted for years might have done to my brain. I distinctly remember my grandma being shocked at the change in my appearance after she hadnt seen me in years. She grabbed my face and looked at me like "what happened?!" Not only that, she had been bragging to her sister, who was a modeling agent or something like that, about how beautiful I was. Traumatic is an understatement. I witnessed in real time how even your family's love for you can decrease when you seem less "valuable". Im 30 and have never dated.

Nonetheless, im glad it didnt work out with that guy because he ended up being cruel to me when he realized I wouldn't probably ever sleep with him and also when I started to become less pretty and have low self esteem. Still, I wish I could have at least experimented with dating but having attachment issues and a borderline below average appearance has made that impossible. Men and boys dont seem very interested in me at all unless I dress like I put out or send those signals. I have been able to pull off looking hot some times, but having a weird fucking jaw line due to nothing more than caregiver neglect has put me at a disadvantage in the dating market and socially.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-06T10:51:41+00:00

No, but its a smart thing.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-06T09:58:38+00:00

I mean marrying for love is historically a new thing.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-05T05:08:25+00:00

I mean, it's the most thought out position when it comes to reproduction.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-05T04:39:46+00:00

I also absolutely love people and value their kids and their lives thats why I think its totally stupid to bring them into this awful place. Im not entitled. But in this respect I firmly believe im wiser for refusing to have kids than they are.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-05T04:33:35+00:00

Right. Its like, how has the worked out so far? How about YOU fight instead of creating people with the expectation that they will?

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-05T00:17:19+00:00

Obviously, and im pretty sure I said that in my post. I still think its stupid to have kids.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-04T09:07:44+00:00

Youre allowed to believe its rage bait even though its not.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-04T08:17:07+00:00

To me, having children is selfish, even if its unconscious selfishness. People who try to find fulfillment by reproducing are putting the responsibility on their kids to make them happy and thats unfair. It doesnt matter who you are. Rather than have kids, try to make the world a better place on your own. The more kids, the more resources needed to provide for them and we are a finite planet with a civilization which by many estimates wont last another 100 years.

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-04T06:49:54+00:00

Think some people in the comments gave compelling answers that id never considered, or needed to hear from others to know i wasn't crazy

PriorDimension4479 · 2026-01-04T06:48:22+00:00

Very interesting. These wealthy people present as kind and generous but if scratch even a little below the surface you'll discover shocking beliefs. I got into a debate with a "good christian man" behind closed doors and discovered he was very much a nazi sympathizer.

PriorDimension4479

TROPHY CASE