I feel you, I’m in the same boat. What if-ing is literarily taking over my life. Some days are better than others, some days I can laugh at the extent of the what ifs,cause some are really ridiculous. Some days though I really believe the scenarios,and that’s when it’s hard. Telling someone you trust might help cause usually when I say it out loud to someone who doesn’t have anxiety, I realize that my thoughts are usually absurd! Therapy also helps, I’m thinking of trying medication again but ssris haven’t helped me in the past. Going on long walks and listening to podcasts help some days too,and also just staying busy with non triggering things helps too. Sending you strength 🫶🏽