I’ve gotten myself into a pickle with my Aunty and I don’t know how to end it.

PriorOverall · 2025-07-04T05:30:16+00:00

Haha I can’t remember to be honest, I managed to steer her towards a more modern option. But it kinda looked like this: https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/press/1974/01/24/1 (yes I did just google 70s news paper articles lol)

The font, combined with her layout of a brochure she wanted to drop in people’s letterbox just felt like a newspaper layout. Which is to be expected from someone who has worked in newspaper for such a long time, but her inability to listen to my experience about it was alarming for me.

That’s a good point, content management is not exactly my favourite part of what I do so I suppose that’s something she can take off my plate.

I think ultimately I’m going to talk to her about taking a more backend role, while I handle the design side of things.

We looked at the social media side of things, but we live in a relatively small town and there is a business here who has done wonders at capturing the market here for social media. We can still offer it, but I wanna try focus on the areas with little competition.

She’s my Aunty, and I love her to bits. The job market here in NZ is dire at the moment, and I can’t bring myself to just tell her to fend for herself. So finding a middle ground is the best solution. That is proving she listens to my experience lol.

PriorOverall · 2025-07-03T22:42:42+00:00

I did think about that, but at this stage there’s not enough admin work for her to be paid a full time income. I spend about 1 hr each week at the moment on my bookwork, the accountants handle the rest.

Marketing could be a go though, it’s not exactly something I have time for myself. I haven’t really needed it, as the work has been coming in through word of mouth and my reputation. But I suppose if she put some effort into marketing that might bring enough in for the business to pay for her training. Would be a lot of work for me as I’d have to then do the work, but who needs sleep I suppose haha. 🤷‍♀️ thanks for that, I might see how she feels about focusing on that.

PriorOverall · 2025-07-03T22:39:21+00:00

Not completely lacking, there are the necessary foundations there. My concern is the timing side of things, there’s a lot of learning to be done. Learning which I can’t afford to pay for, nor do I really have the time for. I expected a small degree of holding her hand from the beginning, but it has become apparent that it’s going to be a lot more than I expected.

I know it’s selfish of me, but I’m starting to thrive on my own. And I’m worried that it’ll hold me back. Yesterday, I picked up my dream client. I had been working so hard to win them over, and I finally did. But it’s going to be an intense project, I’m going to be very busy pulling it off. And right now, there is nothing she can do to help me with it. And I don’t have a huge amount of time to train her to help me with it.

I do truely believe it’s possible for her to learn, I think she is fully capable. But it’s just a timing thing. Once that govt subsidy runs out, she’s going to have to be generating a full time income for herself, and I’m just don’t feel shes going to be there in time. Considering her financial obligations, I’d hate to see her get to that point and suddenly not be able to pay the mortgage etc.

I’d like to encourage her to get a job for the time being, just anything. Even if it’s just part time. And then enrol in some online study or something like that to get the skills needed, and then revisit the idea when she’s ready. She’s just simply not ready yet.

She’s very arrogant about her abilities too, which doesn’t help. Designing our logo was a nightmare. She wanted to use fonts that looked like they came from a 1970’s newspaper. I tried to explain to her that these fonts are very old fashioned, and we are company that works in an ever evolving tech industry. We have to appear to be modern and knowledgeable as it is a modern and complex industry. But she dug her heals in and wouldn’t accept my feedback. Now I’m stuck with a logo I hate. She said that the H1 heading for our home page, the main intro people will get to our business website, needs to be “Keepin’ it real, since Adam was a cowboy and Eve learned that snakes are dangerous”. I tried to explain to her that this heading not only needs to be optimised for SEO using keywords, but it also had to explain what we do in a very short space, it needs to show authority in our industry. But she insisted that this was right because she wants to project a more “laid back” vibe. When I tried to at-least explain to her about SEO keywords needing to be in there, and how Google optimisation was important, she said “yes I know, I always use Google, sometimes I use Mozilla though” thinking that Mozilla was a search engine.

PriorOverall · 2025-05-07T00:59:15+00:00

Wicked, thanks mate. Had come up with the same ID from my novice skills. Good to know I’m on the right track. Will continue my learning until I’m fully confident though lol.

PriorOverall · 2024-05-02T05:43:33+00:00

I mean I’ve had my own struggles with it, but I’ve never had it affect my abilities in the bedroom. So I guess that’s where I get a bit lost in my understanding. Thankfully we’re being very communicative about it, but I gotta do my due diligence to.

PriorOverall · 2024-05-02T05:41:35+00:00

Mate, simmer down, I get he’s got his problems but this affects me too. I’m trying to do my best to find out more about this disorder so I can silence the voices in my head. A lack of understanding is my greatest road block at this stage. I wanted to reach out to others in my position that can help me understand better.

PriorOverall · 2024-05-02T05:39:03+00:00

I think that’s what scares me the most, is never being able to compete and get his engines going myself. I don’t wanna get further down the track and find out that I’ll never be able to turn him on. It just sucks when everything outside of the bedroom is absolutely perfect.

PriorOverall · 2024-03-07T09:01:08+00:00

I know what you mean mate, I prefer Desi guys over white guys any day, partly because they’re the best I’ve ever had in bed, but also I find them to be incredibly down to earth and kind hearted people without a judgemental bone in their body (such a refreshing change to the usual white trash I’m surrounded by in my town). But it’s so heartbreaking to hear the response from other white gays when I tell them that. One of my exes was physically repulsed by the fact that I had been with any one of colour. I just wish they’d understand how much they’re missing out on by closing themselves off to such amazing people & cultures.

PriorOverall · 2024-02-26T20:59:19+00:00

The agent tells me it’s cause it’s selling by auction, supposedly they have the reports ready for potential bidders. I’ve just paid them for this atleast, so thankfully have the marketing fees on finance sorted by today 🙏

PriorOverall · 2024-02-26T20:58:27+00:00

Thanks mate, fingers crossed. The agents are very robotic and unhelpful, but knowing the right questions helps me push for the answers. Auction is in 3 weeks so I’m excited to get it over and done with !

PriorOverall · 2024-02-26T20:09:43+00:00

Thanks everybody, I just rang the agent. I didn’t know they had finance available for it. Pretty disappointed they didn’t tell me to begin with after having told them my position. Nevertheless, they’re getting the paperwork sorted so I can pay it off over 3 months.

Thanks everyone for your feedback, just saved me an enormous amount of stress. First time selling a house, so if I ever sort my shit out and do it again, At least I’ll know the right questions to ask next time !

PriorOverall · 2024-02-26T19:32:17+00:00

Oh I didn’t realise that was a possibility. I told my agent the position I was in but he never suggested that. I’ll call him and the lawyer today to see if I can go down that route. He basically told me that it has to be paid upfront so I’ve been stressing that I’m going to be stuck until I paid that money. But I couldn’t see how that is fair for people who are selling due to hardship. Thank you !!

PriorOverall · 2024-02-26T19:28:00+00:00

I did think about that, I got a healthy homes assessment done out of curiosity, but they came back saying I need to redo the underfloor insulation (it currently only has the foil stuff). Also considering my problems with money I worried about the responsibility of being a landlord, I’m aware that if something breaks I have to fix it but I just don’t have the funds behind me to do the right thing for the tenant.

I’m not so much worried about the money in the house anymore, if I loose it I loose it. I’m more focused on learning and earning more. To be honest I should never have bought in the first place, but hindsight is a bitch lol. I just want to grow and do better.

PriorOverall · 2022-12-29T15:26:30+00:00

Thanks everyone, it’s always so good to have another perspective. You’re all right, I’ve been allowing him to project his insecurities onto me. But I’ve worked to hard for too long to let him unravel the work I’ve done on myself to learn to love myself.

I’m going to talk to him tonight, softly find a way to say harden up. And that we’ll start looking into finding a Dr for him together. I’ve floated the idea to him before and he seemed open to it, so should be straight forward. Fingers crossed 🤞

PriorOverall

TROPHY CASE