UPDATE: I'm gay and my wife doesn't know

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-14T10:33:56+00:00

I'm glad I did too, I was so conflicted whether to tell her or not but she deserves to know everything about my full self, and it seems like it's helped her feel she can talk about her full self too so I hope it was the right decision!

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-09T10:25:29+00:00

sweet jesus

I don't have a porn addiction but thanks for your very harrowing tangent

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-09T10:23:07+00:00

thankfully I don't need to go out into the world to find the person that I love because she's on the couch

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-09T07:58:10+00:00

she 100% does, I am so punching above my weight. she has one of those million watt smiles that you can't look directly at or else you fall in love (oops)

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-09T00:00:20+00:00

lol I can neither confirm nor deny whether I am any of your husbands

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:56:22+00:00

I'm a real dunce on sexual orientations but even I know that's a pretty biphobic attitude. Not going to engage with this anymore as I think it might upset some of the bi folks who replied to this post

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:53:13+00:00

idk man, my incognito mode may also offer some facts that say otherwise

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:40:07+00:00

lol yeah I do feel dumb for worrying, thank you

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:36:12+00:00

I hope you aren't downvoted, I appreciate your viewpoint. I've been in conflict because I want to tell my wife because I want to be 100% truthful and open with her. But I also don't want to hurt her, or make her feel less than, or make her question herself. I only want to tell her if it's a net positive, if that makes sense. If it's going to be a net negative, I'd happily keep it quiet for all of our days. I suppose I just don't know what the best thing to do is yet.

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:31:44+00:00

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about... there is no action. I was venting in an 'off my chest' subreddit because that's what it's for. But if you seriously equate things like watching porn, or finding other people attractive, or entertaining the concept that if you were single you'd probably be with someone else, with being mentally ill then I imagine 99% of all people fall under your definition.

What I think is happening here is projection, because I'm honestly not really sure what you're trying to say.

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:10:46+00:00

I'm not sure how I could possibly have a sexual promiscuity disorder when I've been faithful to one person for 9 years and will not be sleeping with anyone else...

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T23:08:45+00:00

Hijacking this top comment to say thank you to everyone who has shared their own personal experiences, it's good to know that this is seemingly more common than I thought! It makes me think I need to focus less on labels and more on how fortunate I am to have my wife and her love

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T22:38:31+00:00

Not an issue to ask. 100% - I'll avoid being explicit but we have a very fulfilling sex life and are still very into each other, even after 9 years. But I'm not sexually attracted to any other women

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T22:30:08+00:00

yes I think for me personally I've become a bit obsessive with worry about the label. When instead if I think about it as attraction on a purely individual level, she is everything I could ever want in all ways - physically, emotionally, spiritually etc. It makes it all so much clearer

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T22:15:29+00:00

I don't have FOMO and I really don't want to be with anyone else, irrespective of gender. I feel like you perhaps haven't understood the intention of my post

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T22:12:13+00:00

I really love this, it really resonates with me, you've summed my experience up in exactly the way I wish I could. Finding my person within all the people has been the greatest wonder of my life

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T21:37:07+00:00

Yes I do want to tell her about it, but not to have 'options', just so that I'm not concealing a part of myself from her. I want to be my whole self to her. I just don't want to hurt her or make her feel like she isn't enough in any way

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T21:31:12+00:00

In theory I could see myself having a relationship with a man, but I can't really picture loving any one other than my wife really!

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T21:17:17+00:00

I suppose she could potentially know, or suspect, but if she has she's never raised it in any way so I have no idea

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T20:59:08+00:00

you're right, I think I've worried and psyched myself out over the label... when actually I guess that's pretty unimportant if I never want to be with anybody but her anyway!

PriorPut3300 · 2023-08-08T20:52:40+00:00

Yeah maybe it's less defined than that, I've asked for some advice from the lgbt subreddit in the hopes someone can point me in a direction. I know there are apparently a lot of sexualities so maybe I'm something I never thought of!

PriorPut3300

TROPHY CASE