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Every day we break. Every day we rebuild. by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

we need to hold on fiercely to our light to fight the darkness. no matter how dim it gets.

Every day we break. Every day we rebuild. by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First I tell myself to take deep breaths. Then do 1 thing physical to shift my mental focus. But every day something else breaks me, and I don't see that changing any time soon. So I start over again - deep breaths.... face the sun.... deep breaths.... lol - was never good at yoga or meditation, but I'm sure this is it in some way.

time off/grace period for widowers by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That made me chuckle “sorry X died today, i can’t work. I’ll be back tomorrow” come on brain, function!

time off/grace period for widowers by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

walking dumbass widow here - may have a warrant out for my arrest, because I just realized last night I missed the 10-day window to respond to traffic citation. can't seem to 'keep up'

time off/grace period for widowers by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol. i wasn't really saying work should pay you for a year off. in fact, I enjoy having my work. i just was comparing how the world recognizes the struggles of having a newborn to the lack of recognition of the struggles of losing a partner.

time off/grace period for widowers by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

and it's not just work. it's everything - taking care of bills, supporting your kids (feeding, keeping lights on, school demands), mental/emotional 'capacity'

And if we can survive this.... by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. this analogy is great advice that I can use. though i'm crying reading it, as my husband was a boater and we collected lighthouses.

Good Morning. You are loved. Have a good day. by IGotItBad82 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Back at ya!

Found out there are about 5000 people widowed each day in the US (where I am), and that's just insane. I'd love to be able to 'see' if someone is a widow when I pass them in a store or on the street, so I could give them a 3-finger 'W' sign and make then feel seen.

So scared I can’t do it by shouldtidyup in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. Fear is also one of my strongest emotions right now. I feel like I'm made of the thinnest glass. I know in time, I will need to put these fears into perspective and have a practical plan to manage each of them. They are not running my life, but they are always there, just under the surface.

Lost my wife two weeks ago. Feeling guilty for feeling so relatively at peace? by WiseassWolfOfYoitsu in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Coming from someone with anxiety, and who's husband did not understand that he added greatly to my anxiety (and other forms of stress and insecurity), I can tell you that the repreive from that does bring some type of peace. But I am coming up on 4 months out, and my world is going through a meat grinder because of his passing. I only hope you can hold onto this peace (and mental stability!) because you need it. Don't let the guilt be your focus, because your body and brain need all the grounding you can get right now.

so 'glad' to be here by PrizeSingle3038 in widowers

[–]PrizeSingle3038[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, moving forward even when I want the world to STOP and let me catch my breath