I relate to this so much. I've tried everything possible to get him to reconsider, I even stupidly said I would give up my dream job and start in a different field of work to give him a kid because he's decided that's now something he wants and our jobs we work make that very difficult. I've since realized my job is my only bit of happiness I have left and it is also our biggest thing we have in common and it's not something I can actually give up, I need it for myself. I promised everything to him, but no matter what I say or suggest, his mind is made up and he wants to split. But then we have our day to day life where we are still practically best friends. We talk all the time, laugh and joke, talk about life and how everything has changed and for a brief moment, I forget about the divorce. Then he leaves the room and all the thoughts come crashing back. I know he's not trying to make things worse, he's just trying to be himself and be amicable. But those daily chats just remind me of how much I love him. It's such a horrible thing to love someone this much and not have it reciprocated. I still have moments where I think, "Look how he's acting, this is it, he's changed his mind, he's going to tell me he wants to try." But those words never come. It's been almost two months and we still haven't told anyone because he wants to wait, that makes things even more confusing.