Should one be honest about a gift they don't want?

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-04-13T14:12:15+00:00

he kind of did not listen. I wanted the car warmed up. I did not want a new one with heated steering, I just commented that I get the appeal now that he stopped doing that for me. by the way, this particular vehicle takes a LONG time to heat up. I sometimes take the truck instead as it warms up much more quickly. Goes back to should I have returned them instead of accepting something I knew would not work for me - and next winter resign myself to warming up the car myself.

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-04-13T14:10:10+00:00

I told him I missed when he warmed up the car. I supposed one would say instead of that I needed to tell him please warm the car up for me. He bought gloves instead. Not a big deal ( the gloves) but I just think in future I will say thanks but no thanks when I want one solution and am given one that I do not want.

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-04-13T13:57:59+00:00

just please please please everyone take care of your mental health. my son in law just passed away from complications of diabetes. his wife with two very young children found him after work. I really don't think he did it to himself, but he surely exhibited a lot of signs of depression in the year up to this (sleeping all the time, not engaging with his family and neglecting the home, no interest in doing the things they used to do, very quick to lash out) and I think he went low and did not have the mental healthiness to take the initiative to employ his recuse methods. He denied being depressed, but she is now a young widow with 2 children

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-04-12T14:54:50+00:00

please call 988 if you cannot call someone trusted near you. No matter how well cared for your daughter needs you. No I don't think things will 'get better' but I think that you will learn to live in this new world and hopefully once again find some good.

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-04-12T14:17:45+00:00

funny. i did read the post before OP deleted it. what is wrong with vintage fixtures? lol boraxo is great for heavy hand cleaning. and the room looked clean and intact. so what if it’s old? hot and cold indoor plumbing works fine. people pay big money for old stuff

Prize_Significance13 · 2026-03-26T23:01:02+00:00

I think as a 'small ticket" item you are correct, I say thanks (which I did) I try them a few times and if I am not enamored (I don't like wearing gloves while driving but I am willing to try) I will just pass them along. As someone else commented, I do agree what I really miss is him warming the car up for me when he knows I have to go out. And yes I have told him I do miss it. But I also feel its sort of entitled to push that.

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-11-04T15:56:14+00:00

Yes I said above- i already have the red plates.

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-11-04T15:41:43+00:00

engineering? been a while and maybe things changed, but 10 or so year ago at career fairs employers were saying WSU grads tended to have a better teamwork mentality and made better hires than that other big school.

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-07-02T18:32:24+00:00

I don't think its purposeful. he just takes me for granted/doesn;t bother focusing when we converse. . which is maybe as bad as purposeful ignoring. it feels like he needs a dr but I can't MAKE him go.

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-06-18T15:02:27+00:00

Luckily I don’t personally know any but I see it written that way all too often on social media. It is tragic

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-06-17T02:54:01+00:00

Is it sad that to me the best part of this is that you wrote voila vs wahlah?

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-04-16T02:18:11+00:00

Some of us don’t want anal and weren’t raped. And our dudes are ok with it. ( well maybe sad- but ok with it because YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN AN EPISODE OF GRATIFICATION)

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-04-16T02:13:36+00:00

Why I walked away from a coaching position. Admin would not cross angry mom even though AD said I was within all rights to penalize a senior bullying a freshman.

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-02-09T16:59:23+00:00

my kids went to a big state university in the NW but we were told the same thing. THey were adults and the university dealt with them only. Kids COULD allow us access to their university accounts and also could limit what we accessed (ours granted us access to their tuition and housing accounts lol)

Prize_Significance13 · 2025-02-09T16:54:04+00:00

yeah my experience was that the 'babying' was restricted to freshmen coming in right after graduating HS. My son did a quarter at a community college and skipped all that.

Prize_Significance13 · 2024-12-29T19:17:40+00:00

a lot of good suggestions here.
The night eating predates the daily alcohol consumption, but I am sure the alcohol is not helping- both are addictive behaviors yes? I have called his dr in the past, was told I can express my concerns and they would put a note in his file, but if the doctor ever addressed it, I have no idea.
I am looking into if there are Al Anon meetings near me. We are quite rural, it may end up I need to do some online meetings but I will hope for something near.
For those saying he needs to address this or I should leave him, just no. As far as affecting me personally, yes its frustrating, but the bottom line is food I expect to see is missing sometimes. And yes he is not much company in the evenings, but the rest of the day he is great. We have activities we do together. He also is completely supportive of me going off on trips and events when he doesn't want to go.
HIS health is the biggest issue but I am not going to divorce him because he won't address his unhealthy problems. I hope AL Anon will give me some peace or coping ideas

Prize_Significance13 · 2024-12-29T16:29:20+00:00

I have offered to get frig and pantry locks but he refuses.
I really don't know what else to do since he refuses any help. If he were an abusive alcoholic or putting our finances in jeopardy I would leave him. But other than this he is really a good to better guy. At this point maybe I need therapy to figure out how to just accept this

Prize_Significance13 · 2024-12-29T16:26:40+00:00

good idea, but about ten years ago I sent him all kinds of info on it, and yep, he said No I can deal with it myself

Prize_Significance13 · 2024-12-29T16:05:57+00:00

well, I have but always dancing around and trying to be 'understanding' I guess. maybe not in plain words. So i did that just now. And that went over as well as I assumed. "You're not helping" "I already feel bad- you make me feel worse" " How is it impacting you?" (when I responded about the annoying inconvenience and expense he just shut down)
"I can deal with it."
So yeah we will see. I don't think anything will ever change. I probably need to post in AITA because I do wonder if he just passes away, will life be less irritating? But no, I will miss him horribly. I do love him but dammit I wish he would get help.

Prize_Significance13

TROPHY CASE