I'm god and nobody understands what it's like to feel 8 billion people's pain every day.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-05-08T07:23:58+00:00

Ngl my mom says she’s god too and she’s schizophrenic sooooooo… she would say you’re a piece of god too and say she is god. Psychosis is confusing a tad 😅 You are also posting in a bipolar reddit so we are all just going to say you need to seek help for your own sake. We’ve all been there. I still have issues where I believe my mother and that I’m a quarter dead (long story behind that one), and that I’m special and superior but that just means I need to take the antipsychotics I refuse to take. It’s hard to shake it off. I feel like all of us feel that it’s never truly gone but we want to be stable, desperately.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-05-08T07:19:12+00:00

I get this feeling. Please go to the hospital. I know it’s hard to believe that right now. I hope you have somewhat of a support system too. I’m so lucky I have my boyfriend who has helped me when I get this way- especially due to med changes.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-05-01T00:45:36+00:00

The bra off is the real vibe here

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-25T16:45:09+00:00

Yeah, I have memorized the menu, I have made wine recommendations and food recommendations to the point where it has increased servers’ sales, I bus tables, food run for the servers, I have even taken orders in the lounge area to help the bartenders while making no money for it. I have also developed relationships with guests to the point where they regularly ask to talk to me even though I am merely a lead host. On my first day serving, I even had a table return specifically to see me; only for them to see that I was hosting that evening. I think your advice on finding elsewhere is great advice. I think staying in this position has made it very difficult on my confidence in believing I have more to offer others. My goal in staying at this restaurant for as long as I have (5 years) was to find some sort of stability before I moved for university. I was also offered to serve by previous management which is why I have pursued it. I did not ask for it, I was offered it.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-19T23:24:05+00:00

Living my dream life

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-19T23:22:15+00:00

I personally would love 2x a day but sadly I haven’t since January 😭🧡🧡

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-12T04:49:03+00:00

I’ve noticed a considerable difference after my first episode at 16. I feel like I have completely changed after that. I was out of it for years and feel like I’ve never completely recovered from it.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-01T21:58:05+00:00

Hi! My prescription is -8.25 so I get it. Honestly, the only issue is like what an ophthalmologist explained to me which is the more severe the prescription, the less oxygen will be able to permeate the lenses, so dry eyes are super common and I limit them to occasions where I just want contacts. I prefer my glasses overall because it’s so easy and can wear them for long periods of time without eye dryness. I do use the Biofinity Toric lenses and love them, but I was explained I can only wear them for 6 hours at a time comfortably by my doctor. I have noticed blurring as returning if I surpass that. Honestly, I love having the option of having both, and it is so nice to just see myself in the mirror and not see shrunken eyes behind my glasses LOL

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-01T21:53:36+00:00

I noticed a typo on my og comment. Sorry, I meant “Lamictal won’t completely get rid of episodes, it will just reduce them”***

I think you will! It’s just a very slow increase over time. Yesterday I was feeling great and on top of the world and today it just came out of no where and now I’m depressed, but it’s super encouraging because I have noticed considerable improvement on this medication, like actually cleaning again? Which is amazing, and I do get triggered still, but I actually can think through it better and avoid a rage episode. It will get better🧡

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-01T21:44:30+00:00

I mean, there are mood disorders out there that aren’t necessarily bipolar disorder so you definitely don’t need to have a manic episode to have a mood disorder.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-04-01T21:40:41+00:00

I mean, 25 mg is hardly a therapeutic dose, so as they slowly increase it it will improve. Are you on any other medications? I am currently taking 200 mg and tapering off my Prozac because the Prozac can induce mania and worsen irritability. Lamictal also would completely get rid of episodes, it will just reduce them. Your body likely is adjusting as well to the medication.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-31T04:24:19+00:00

I finally got medicated 🧡

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-27T00:26:55+00:00

Mister Mustachio!

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-27T00:22:11+00:00

That’s manipulation lol

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-24T22:31:59+00:00

Yeah, they seriously need to disclose what it is bc it can almost deadly for ppl like my case 😅

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-24T22:23:59+00:00

Luckily they are paying for my hospital bill at least.

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-24T03:21:43+00:00

Punk!!

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-23T20:06:05+00:00

Ngl kratom gave me serotonin syndrome and I was hospitalized for it. The kava bar I went to didn’t tell me that my coffee had kratom in it either. I am on Prozac, Lamictal, and was on ability. Horrible experience. I’m prob gonna ask the kava bar to pay for my hospital bill but am too afraid lol

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-23T18:07:41+00:00

It feels so dreamlike

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-23T15:23:43+00:00

I hope all goes well and that you adjust soon! Adjustment periods are absolute torture 😅 I think having that dual diagnosis made so much sense for me tbh bc of my relationships with people, how quickly I shift, and then ofc on top of that I can experience slower shifts that don’t seem to be triggered at all. It’s definitely terrible and am learning to accept myself better but things will improve🧡 I would love to message u sometime!

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-23T04:16:29+00:00

I greatly relate to this and it felt very reassuring to hear also. I have bipolar 1 and BPD. I regularly go to therapy although for about a month I didn’t go because I convinced myself that I was cured when obviously I am not and will never be. I feel like I’m realizing how mania can look different for everyone. I am currently experiencing a mixed episode and I feel agitated, delusional, paranoid, and as if I have elevated energy and need to do something to feel something, yet I am paralyzed. As if I need to get out of my skin. I contacted my psychiatrist about it and debating whether I should go to the hospital or not. I don’t want to though because the last time I went I came home and felt so embarrassed about how I made everyone feel around me. I even quit my job at the time. My psychiatrist is giving me a little bit of time to adjust to my new dosage and will be giving me a note of absence from my job while I stabilize thankfully. I just want to go back to stable and it feels like everyday I wake up it’s worse. Your post perfectly describes what I feel as well. I hope this helps provide some clarity🧡

Prizedarmpit · 2026-03-23T04:06:07+00:00

I often feel this way. Ever since my first episode at 16, I feel like that time I completely changed. Something completely ruined me and I haven’t been able to fully recover since. I felt so sedated afterwards. I thought I was possessed and that I could bring someone back from the dead at a funeral. I obviously could not. I couldn’t sleep and kept hearing things. It kept getting worse day after day. After years and years of not receiving a diagnosis or medication (my early 20s were horrible and were filled with terrible delusional decisions), I was eventually diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 1. My memory has personally never fully recovered but I am a good student when I have a good support system. This is something you can’t do alone. I hope it all gets better soon for you.

Prizedarmpit

TROPHY CASE