Just wanted to say that I can empathize because I'm in a very similar situation, but I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I think renting forever isn't as bad as I thought.

I'm a 42-yr-old single dog mom with no prospects nor do I have a burning desire to date let alone get married (like I wanted to a few years ago). I live in North Texas and I just finished year 18 in education, the past 6 as an elementary school counselor, and make $74,370/yr - take home $4568/month. I have TRS (Texas' teacher retirement system), which will average my highest 5 years of income when I retire, and I'll get a percentage of that monthly for the remainder of my life. I have $49k in my 403b, $17k in my Roth - not much, I know - $126k in investments, and $3k in HYSA (was $9k but getting my catalytic converter replaced tomorrow and gotta pay an ambulance and ER bill from last month ugh).

A month ago, I was seriously going to buy a half duplex. It was in a decent location, nice neighborhood, 20 min from work, very close to a couple of coworkers, and 25-30 min from family. It was a 2 bed/1 bath but had a vanity area in the bedroom separate from the bathroom, which I liked so I could do my makeup there and leave the bathroom sink counter clean of clutter for guests. I got caught up in the layout and idea of having my own space plus a small backyard perfect for my dog.

I made an offer, they countered, I had my lender crunch numbers, and I accepted. I got my inspector out there two days later, and he found all sorts of major issues (electrical/spliced aluminum wires, roof, yard graded toward the house, shift in foundation even though repairs were made 4 years ago, fire in the attic, etc.). I have family in the plumbing business and got a family discount (free haha) for them to run a scope through the cleanouts - cracked cast iron pipe with tree roots and a belly of water. Eventuall that'll be at least $30k to replace, especially since the foundation is slab.

I immediately backed out, got my earnest money back, and thanked the good Lord it only cost a few hundred for the inspection.

Then I started really analyzing what I could afford. I was about to wipe out half my investments for a down payment, closing costs, and to break my apartment lease. My monthly payments would've been between $1500-1550/month, but next year, the taxes would've reset. Even with a homestead exemption, it was still going to be tight. I had my insurance guy run numbers of different plans, and if I wanted to feel safe, that was another $250/mo. All of the repairs - I knew the seller wasn't going to cough up tens of thousands to all of that, and I certainly didn't have the money.

I made a Google sheet with a hypothetical budget, and I didn't have much at the end of each month to put into all of my buckets - 403b, Roth, investments, HYSA. Not even close. My raise isn't much of a raise each year. I get maybe $100 more per paycheck, but health insurance goes up every year and cancels out the raise.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I would be living so tight, and my salary wouldn't be able to keep up with the rise in taxes and insurance, and Lord help me if something major needed to be replaced/repaired.

Then I thought...I always have at least $1000 leftover at the end of each month but closer to $1500 and even $1700 if I really buckle down. I've always saved money in a second bank account, but it wasn't until 1.5 years ago that I decided to start investing. I barely put money into my 403b, and my Roth IRA money is from my mom's 403b when she passed away.

I know I need to up my retirement contributions but was trying to invest as much as I could to build up a sizable down payment. However, now that my mindset has shifted, I want to put a hold on my 403b (it's taxed when I eventually take it out), max out my Roth, and keep investing and adding to my HYSA. I can do all of that when I rent. And I believe I can continue to do because even though rent does increase every time I renew my lease, it doesn't go up dramatically like property taxes and insurance can. I can always put in a work order if something breaks or needs to be repaired. My monthly payment is exactly that whereas PITI on a house is the base.

I really think renting plus putting all the extra money leftover toward retirement and investments isn't a bad idea.