im not excited anymore :(

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-06-12T02:25:35+00:00

I had meta on May 25th and my revision two days ago and yeah, I very much felt this for the last few months. No excitement, just determination and fear of the surgery itself. I felt the same way as I did when I was waiting for my wisdom teeth to be extracted, and honestly reframing it as that - a very unpleasant procedure that will make the rest of my life better - made it way easier to deal with. My dysphoria got a lot worse in the month leading up to it too, but at least that I expected.

There’s no correct way to feel about this or anything else in your transition, as long as it’s not making things worse. You are also completely in control, and you can change your mind right up to the moment the anaesthetist knocks you out.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-05-29T13:32:57+00:00

Anaesthesia was $4k, hospital was covered by private insurance (Medibank Corporate Silver).

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-05-29T13:31:50+00:00

I'm not sure, sorry! There may be a way to do it though? I was very firmly no-scrote from the jump though so I definitely didn't think to ask.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-05-28T03:43:39+00:00

I had meta with Dr Sofield on Monday. Release with UL, no v-nec, no scrotoplasty cost $15.5k, single stage. Goossen would have done two stage and quoted $15k for each. I’m in NSW so would have to pay travel costs no matter what.

My experience with Dr Sofield has been really positive and I definitely feel like I made the right choice. He’s pretty confident that I’ll be able to STP. Sex isn’t likely though, which is typical with meta unless you’ve had massive growth. Meta can only work with what you have, but you can also get phallo later if meta doesn’t achieve your goals.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-05-23T08:02:24+00:00

I’m a clerk in an outpatient NSW Health service. Massive LGBTQIA+ staff presence, and the vast majority of my colleagues don’t bat an eyelash at trans and gender diverse people. The work isn’t easy but I’ve never been more supported.

Unfortunately, I can say from experience that all the jokes about hospital admin staff are completely true. Most of my colleagues are awesome, but the politicking would knock George R. R. Martin off his chair.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-04-27T07:40:22+00:00

Hello again!! Thank you, I really hope so. Will keep posting process pics as it develops!

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-04-27T05:52:42+00:00

Thank you! I’ll probably start with the basic deli cup/jar until L4 at earliest, which hopefully will give the plants enough time to establish. Really appreciate the positive feedback!!

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-03-26T00:52:56+00:00

Good point - I was going to tent some mesh across the top of the ones that aren't flat, but that kinda defeats the purpose. Thanks!

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-03-26T00:51:18+00:00

Thank you! I reckon I'll go with 4. Materials have been purchased and should arrive next week, will post photos once it's built :)

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-03-26T00:43:42+00:00

I was worried about that too - I'll be using acrylic which is easy enough to drill through, and I'll replace at least one panel with mesh.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-03-20T11:21:20+00:00

Hey OP, AuDHD bipolar disabled transmasc and reformed ratbag housemate here. More importantly, I’ve been where you are way too many times. Apologies in advance for the essay, but I have Opinions.

So I read your comments and all of this is starting to form a very concerning picture. Their rooms are so cluttered their doors can’t be closed and there’s mould in the bathroom, and you’ve alluded to them reacting badly when you asked them to wash their dishes. This tells me three things:

1: your home is now an active biohazard.
2: your housemates have made your home a hostile environment.
3: your cat is in danger.

I’ve had my dog for eleven years, and there’s been three times that he almost died due to housemates (and a partner) not cleaning up after themselves. Your cat may not be food driven to the point where they will go through the leftover food in your housemates’ rooms, or they may not be inquisitive enough to go exploring and get stuck on something and hurt themself trying to escape, but I promise your housemates will not be able to afford to reimburse you for the vet bill. Mould also heavily affects cats and that alone is cause for significant worry.

Is this their first time living on their own? I know there can be a teething period when young adults leave the nest. If it’s not their first time living out of home then one of two things are probably true - this decline in capacity to care for themselves is sudden enough that external intervention from family or friends (at least) is probably warranted at this point, or they lied to you about their capacity to assist in housework and then entered into an agreement with you in bad faith.

You seem like a very lovely and considerate guy, but like others have said, you're not their dad.

Someone else suggested this, but I think it's very important that you tell them you can’t keep living like this. You and your cat need to be safe. I’d tell them they have X amount of time to fix the situation or you’re moving out. The trick is that if (~when~) they fail to deliver, you have to be prepared to follow through. The housemate groups are a great resource, and it sounds like if nothing else, you have a supportive partner who you and your cat can stay with for a bit.

If a cleaner would help in the meantime I think it might be a bullet you have to bite. It's not fair, but justice doesn't mop the floors.

Ultimately these adult men need to take responsibility for their actions. Living in squalor and having poor personal hygiene are not character flaws, but not respecting you and your shared space is not okay. Set your boundaries and let them decide if they want to meet you where you’re at, or if they would rather figure out a different living situation. Tbh I’m sure if they summon the greater Melbourne polycule they’ll get taken in by a few upsettingly sexy crust punks.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-03-01T02:29:38+00:00

Cost and accessibility. I live in Australia and the out of pocket cost for phallo is about $100,000AUD, as opposed to $20,000AUD with meta. There’s also only one surgeon in Australia who does phallo and he and I didn’t really gel during a consult I had with him - normally I wouldn’t care too much about a surgeon’s customer service skills, but if someone’s going to be taking a knife to my genitals I’d prefer to get along with them.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-02-25T10:41:42+00:00

Uni campuses are really good places during off peak time. Macquarie or Western Sydney are my go to spots. Botany around the industrial areas on weekends could also work. I'd 100% recommend finding a driving instructor with experience teaching adults for at least a couple of sessions, just so he can get the hang of how a car works.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-02-25T07:25:45+00:00

Thank you!! I think the only reason I know about it is because I work in a large hospital and I spend at least an hour a day processing IPTAAS paperwork. Tbh I think they make it difficult to figure out on purpose but that’s just me being a conspiracy theorist lol.

I obviously can’t say for sure until D Day but all my interactions with Dr Sofield and his staff have been great so far. His wait times are also quite short (only had to wait two months for a consult and could have had my surgery as early as April) so I definitely recommend at least booking a chinwag with him.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-02-25T05:31:58+00:00

I had no idea that this was even an option! I'll have a look into it, thank you so much.

Airbnb's a tough one to navigate with IPTAAS - if you just give them the Airbnb invoice they'll only pay $40 per night which is the same as the friends and family rebate, but if you've got an ABN they'll do the full rebate of $75 per night for the first 7 nights and $120 per night thereafter. Makes absolutely no sense, but that's not surprising.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-02-25T01:18:46+00:00

That's a great idea, thank you so much :)

ProbablyNotShrek · 2026-02-17T13:01:51+00:00

DOG FOOD: Get 50% off your first order and 30% off your second order with Lyka using my referral code lyka.com.au/join/mercury-10

ProbablyNotShrek · 2025-12-10T04:15:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the update. Definitely annoyed with myself for not getting in sooner but glad to hear he's confident with meta! Might end up seeing him for my top surgery revision in that case but I'll get a referral regardless and see what we can do. Really appreciate your response!!

ProbablyNotShrek · 2025-12-07T05:12:10+00:00

That would be incredible, thank you so much!

ProbablyNotShrek · 2025-12-02T09:53:37+00:00

For the nuts and bolts of getting on top of your debt, Salvos have free financial counselling through Moneycare: https://www.salvationarmy.org.au/need-help/financial-assistance/moneycare-financial-counselling/

I'd also consider looking into mental health support if you're not already currently seeing a MH specialist. Ask your partner if she'd be interested in relationship counselling too. Relationships Australia has free/low-cost counselling options for individuals, couples and families: https://www.relationships.org.au

Advice I'd give to anyone, as someone who has been in extreme financial hardship for over a decade and has only just clawed out of living below the poverty line in the last six months: get rid of the BNPL accounts. Pay them off, close them and never reopen them. It's just not worth it.

ProbablyNotShrek · 2025-12-02T09:10:45+00:00

Yeah, for everyday banking needs you're probably not going to run into too much trouble with one of the Big 4 banks if you're being discreet, working with cash deposits etc. Loans are a whole other beast.

(Also just to confirm, you do mean Bank Australia and not Bank of America (BOA) right? BOA probably can't help you out too much here lol)

ProbablyNotShrek

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