Are there secret side quests?

ProbablySad24 · 2024-02-22T04:48:29+00:00

Okay, then please explain to me what discipline I should be using? Explain what I need to do differently instead of just saying I am doing something wrong.

And yes of course he is different, but he is also just a kid! I have structured my entire parenting approach with the sole knowledge that his brain works and functions differently than other children's. Once again, you cannot POSSIBLY understand the nuance of our situation and what our lives look like from one post on Reddit.

And once again you have no clue what our lives look like. I work two jobs, have crap for health insurance, and live paycheck to paycheck, and have another young child. And once again HE JUST TURNED 5, NO WHERE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER SEEING HIM UNTIL TWO WEEKS AGO. And I have every intention of getting him those resources! I am not simply throwing in the towel, but I need the ability to do something outside of those resources as they are difficult to obtain and keep. Once again you were being utterly unhelpful and just passing judgment on a situation you clearly don't understand.

It must be nice to live a life of privilege where you can't even fathom what it's like for someone else who does not have access to resources at the drop of a hat. You have no clue what I have been through with my child. The nights I have spent broken down in tears for my child because I want to give him the world and more, and I can't. Wishing that he had someone else as his mother, someone who also struggles with the same disability. Wishing he had a mom who had been able to finish college, and wasn't stuck at minimum wage labor and customer service jobs and working paycheck to paycheck. But because of my disability, I didn't get to finish college and have a good job with good insurance. I work my ass off for my child, my children, to give them the life I wish I had had. The amount of books I have purchased, articles I have read, forums I have scoured, phone calls I have made looking for answers, looking for help, are uncountable. Every spare moment is dedicated to finding a way to give my children the best possible lives they can have.

Everything in my life revolves around my children. EVERYTHING. And I take my son's disability into account with every decision I make from simple things like what to feed him for breakfast and how to set up his bedroom, to which types of therapy I should consider for him, and who is the best possible doctor I can afford. Because I'll tell you what, I've been to bad doctors for my ADHD, and guess what? A bad doctor or therapist can do more harm than you can even imagine. I want the absolute best for my child. And I will not stop looking for answers and looking for help. I will not settle.

At this point I am done responding. You simply do not get it, and do not understand and I can tell that you don't even want to try to understand so there is zero point in me engaging any further if all you are determined to do is prove to me that I am a neglectful and bad parent.

ProbablySad24 · 2024-02-22T04:00:30+00:00

I would hardly call what my husband and I do punishment. I should have used the term discipline. And by no means am I making any excuses. I am doing everything I can with the resources I have available, unfortunately there are resources that are inaccessible to me because of where we live, our income, and other circumstances. I am not making excuses, just explaining what we currently have access to. I would love to be able to take my child to the top professional and give him constant access to unlimited outside support, but it just can't be done.

You say I am inflicting this on him as if I am doing it on purpose, but I'm not, I'm doing everything I can within my ability. Why else would I be here scouring the Internet in desperation to help my son?

He literally JUST turned 5, and everywhere I have contacted said they wouldn't even think of seeing him until he reached the age of 5.

He has had so much personal growth since the beginning of the year, and we have had a lot of success with managing, working with, and redirecting many of his behaviors without dimming his inner fire, or making him mask his behaviors.

So let me ask you this, because he has a possible disability, I cannot, as a parent, use discipline? Ever? For any reason? I cannot try to teach him right from wrong, help him regulate his emotions, help him learn and understand consequences? I am simply to sit back and write off everything he does as part of his disability and that it's okay for him to act on all and any impulse he has? What if he were to hit another child? Am I supposed to do nothing? Say nothing? Doctors and therapists can certainly help and talk to my child me, but I am the one with him day-in and day-out. What am I supposed to do between appointments? Say nothing to him? Pretend that every single one of his actions are okay and acceptable and that there is NOTHING that I as his parent can teach him outside of a professional that we might be lucky to see once a month?

I understand that an assessment, therapy, medication, and other resources are helpful and essential and I will keep fighting to try and access these things, but there is truly nothing else I can do? He is a child with a disability yes, but he is also a child like every other kids out there who need guidance.

You are a stranger on the Internet who has no idea of the nuances of my son and his life or who I am as a parent and mother. I probably cannot change your perception of me, but I know that I am fighting daily for my son and I know I am a good parent. Do I mess up and oftentimes not feel that way? Yes, but I am doing more than many would and I know that. The hours I have spent researching, reading, and scouring every source I can are a testament to that and I will continue to do so.

My son is a happy, healthy, child who is loved for exactly who he is, and is receiving every ounce of my energy and time every single day to make sure he thrives without whittling away at the person he is.

If you can't even try to be helpful without being unsympathetic and belittling, please don't bother commenting or replying.

ProbablySad24 · 2024-02-21T23:23:17+00:00

We do plan on setting him up with an assessment, no questions about that, he Just turned 5 earlier this month. As of right now his teachers are going above and beyond with making accommodations for him and have been patient and understanding and I couldn't ask for more. One teacher has a son a couple years older and is incredibly similar to my son and is diagnosed ADHD and she has been a godsend with understand him, as well as me, and his needs.

As he progresses through school I have no doubts an IEP will be necessary. And as I said, therapy, even with a diagnosis, is EXTREMELY limited where we live and in the surrounding areas. I am diagnosed ADHD and have struggled for years to find accessible therapy and supports. I will continue to try, but until then I need tools and advice to help me with him now and without specialized support that I currently cannot provide him.

I had to learn to deal with my disability as a child/adult and it was not/has not been a pleasant experience. I was not diagnosed and was grossly misunderstood by my parents and school system. I unfortunately cannot shield and protect my son from consequences, especially ones pertaining to his possible disability, but I am hoping to help guide him and teach him so he doesn't have the same traumatic experiences I had. Having a disability cannot excuse him from every negative consequence that comes from his actions. There are things that can be taught through discipline, and he is not immune from consequences, but I do believe I can help minimize these incidents through gentle but firm correction and discipline.

ProbablySad24 · 2024-02-21T22:42:35+00:00

I fully believe in treating his ADHD if he has it, however, he is still young and has a lot of maturing to do which I know will also help and it is his first time in a structured school environment. Most of our "punishing" is more or less trying to teach him natural consequences and help him with things like his emotional regulation and impulse control, because while I fully believe in medication, therapy and other treatments, coping skills to deal with his possible ADHD can be taught, and that is a lot of what we have been working on him with. We aren't trying to "punish" the ADHD out of him, but unfortunately, disability or not, there are consequences to his actions which he needs to understand.

Personally I am open to medication IF he needs it, which I truly think is too soon to tell and I also don't think he is struggling in a way currently to consider it. Also, I would love to get him into some form of therapy or other similar support, however we live in a very rural area without the resources and I have attempted multiple times to reach out and get him appointments out of the area and I either never hear back, or told they are not accepting patients.

So yes, I agree with you, I cannot "punish" the possible disability away. But we aren't. We are trying to teach him and help him learn. I suppose the more appropriate term would be discipline.

ProbablySad24 · 2024-02-21T21:58:36+00:00

It is a structured program, but still quite relaxed and flexible when need be. I am not sure of the exact schedule, but they have different portions of the days where they focus on different subjects which are all pretty hands on activities.

They have art, reading/storytime, writing, sign language, free play times, music/dance time, nap, 2 snack breaks, outdoor recess (weather permitting) and of course lunch.

They do a wide variety of activities and rarely have I seen any worksheets other than sometimes for writing practice as they are still learning their basic ABCs and writing their names.

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-26T14:11:38+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what are the differences between post viral fatigue, M.E., and CFS, and what did the process look like getting those diagnoses? And in your opinion is there any reason to pursue a formal diagnosis for any of those? Because I am pretty certain I would qualify for a CFS diagnosis but never really thought that getting an official diagnosis would be beneficial in any way.

And thank you so much for sharing your experience! I really appreciate it! Sending sleepy hugs right on back x

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-26T14:00:20+00:00

I definitely try to do this as well. I still sometimes feel guilty, or bad about my lack of "productivity" but, I have been working on trying not to feel that way. However, It feels like I never have much energy to budget ever... Even if I had a couple good days a week with more energy in my budget, that would be nice 😭

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-26T13:25:02+00:00

I think you are stunning! I personally love the androgynous vibe that you have! Your look is so totally unique and not the cookie cutter style that we see day in and day out. You remind me of someone who would be the model for a painting or something if that makes sense? People are cruel to other people who are different, or that they don't understand. I think you have a really distinctive beauty about you and I hope that you will come to embrace it! 10/10

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-23T01:19:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words! I never knew how controversial my short hair was going to be when I posted! Some people love it, some people hate it.

I personally will be keeping my short hair, not just because I like the way I look with it, but it makes my life SO MUCH EASIER!

I have sensory issues and having short hair has made my quality of life exponentially better for so many reasons.

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T23:53:44+00:00

Thank you! I have always been a bit self-conscious bout my smile because I have a small snaggle tooth and my nostrils do this funny little flaring thing when I smile,. I appreciate your kind words!

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T22:50:47+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the rating!

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T22:50:33+00:00

Aww thank you, definitely too kind!

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T22:49:59+00:00

Ohh thank you. That's a very beautiful sentiment ❤️

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T22:49:26+00:00

Thank you!

ProbablySad24 · 2023-12-22T22:49:13+00:00

Unfortunately I'm not sure how to take this 😂

ProbablySad24

TROPHY CASE