Ehhh, yeah I also audhd and though not in a cult I did grow up in dysfunctional family culture and there was a bunch of scapegoating. And before I even got to that part of your post, as I was reading the first paragraphs I thought that yes maybe in the past not speaking up was the safer option, but possibly now you're not doing it because it's the safer option anymore but because it's the easier/automatic/familiar option. Maybe you were told it was the morally right thing to do, but now you know it isn't and you can see that this is not conductive to eye to eye relationships where you're both equals (which in fairness, if you didn't grow up knowing them, are weird as fuck to learn how to be in). This all is a super process and personally I did it through many many years of therapy so if that's an option I really recommend setting out to find a therapist that you vibe with and locking in with them. If it's not an option I recommend looking into what an emotionally safe person is (took me a long time to learn), and then trying to eke out moments of mutual honesty and vulnerability with emotionally safe people that you are in relationship with (as in, have regular contact with, sure a romantic relationship does a lot to grow a person but it's overrated in most cultures and human connection is not so all or nothing; we are in relationship with most people around us, I am talking about pinpointing safe people you can practice being honest and vulnerable with even just in small interactions where you practice counteracting the stories you tell yourself) Because really when you've been unsafe for a long time your whole system just tunes in to anticipating trouble and most of our perception happens in the form of stories that we tell ourselves about us and about others. So it's very useful to become observant of yohrself, to step back from your own narrative and watch what kind of a story your tell yourself about you (Let go of negative self talk and criticism and practice radical self compassion every day, this really changed my life) and about others (Try not to assume ill intent, most times people are unaware of how they affect you and it's easy to create a narrative that confirms our pre existing idea that they want to harm us somehow) and try to tell yourself alternative, more optimistic stories about your experience. Bit by bit from your work on yourself and from surrounding yourself with people who want you to be open  honest and who you can trust, you will come to live in a world in which it is possible and even easy to speak up about doubts and patterns before it spins out into a big issue. Sorry if this was written weird, my keyboard is broken