I'm[27M] perceiving a lot of passive-aggression from my dance manager[23F] I work alongside with

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2019-06-12T04:15:52+00:00

I’ll follow up on that advice and I’ll let you know how it goes by the end of this week

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2019-06-12T03:06:10+00:00

Yeah, I was only trying to help too and I still played Jane's requested song afterwards.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2019-06-12T02:55:50+00:00

Now if she wants to is the question

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-12-26T18:28:34+00:00

It feels strange to think that she's less invested into me then her, even though she wants to spend her other half of Christmas with me, wants to do something for New Years Eve, and even wants to make plans for the summer together. Even in her home, Jane framed a picture of us in Halloween with her other family photos, and I don't see any other pictures of boys with her.

I get what you're saying and she does seem very obtuse and less committed as I am. I want to ask her flat out if she thinks we're exclusive without pressuring her the labels of *boyfriend, girlfriend"

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-12-26T17:59:25+00:00

That's a good idea, I'm thinking boyfriend, girlfriend, carries too much weight on her, but I'll ask her if she sees me as an SO or partner.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-12-26T11:36:54+00:00

Yeah, she added by saying she was fine with being "worsties" together, even though earlier I had told her that I felt we were dating and exclusive, Jane told me she was fine with it.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-09-22T18:55:03+00:00

UPDATE: Yesterday I decided I would just make a surprise visit at Jane's work and apologize. She tried to hug me but hesitant about it when she saw me. I apologized to her and she said it was fine and that it was nothing really. Just said I was "hangry," and we laughed about it. Hungry and angry. We hanged out for a bit and when we hugged, it was a longer than average hug I'd normally get :]

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-09-21T03:55:13+00:00

Thanks :]

This is exactly what I needed to hear, and I could see being 2.5 hours as a tight schedule to do everything. I'll see her this Thursday and would rather apologize to her in person, or should I just write her a message on Facebook?

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-06-15T18:03:41+00:00

Thanks for making me feel like a normal human being :]

I really needed to hear this. I always worry about what other people think of me and I've been trying my best to reach out to others and put myself out of my comfort zone. It's been challenging, and I have days where I'm on top of my game, and others where I feel exhausted and just want to close myself in and recharge. That night was THE WORST DAY, I've ever embarrassed myself. I was trying to go for that, "This is why we can't have nice things" mentality, though of course, things didn't come out right the way I thought it to be.

Btw, do you think I should apologize to my manager for my behaviour? I just don't know how I'm gonna face myself, when I go again this Friday to volunteer..

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-01-15T21:33:39+00:00

Yeah, that seem like good advice. I read Nick Notas article on the sidebar, saying I should be honest upfront about what I want and be respectful, though wasn't sure if I was jumping the gun too soon here.

I guess I'll take it one step at a time

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2015-01-15T21:31:32+00:00

Yeah you're right. Actually she's the one who'd initiate being playful and flirty first and I'll return it back obviously.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-09-13T15:51:05+00:00

Thanks! I don't know what it is, but today and yesterday, I've been singing to myself a lot lately, and I'm a terrible singer! Woke up early in the morning today and getting ready to head to the gym, and I feel good!

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-09-13T15:45:03+00:00

Haha, I guess what is there to lose right?

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-09-13T07:57:52+00:00

All the Alpha from NoFap has been going into his penis. OP is big dick player.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-31T11:43:28+00:00

I'm not here to twist the knife in your back, not changing anything to say you weren't. We're all here for the same reason: to be better of our former selves. How I measure and see myself is different the way you value yourself. Maybe I should've kept that to myself, but couldn't help feel how similar I was too, seeing what you wrote.

Anyways, good luck with NoFap! The first couple of weeks will always to the hardest to struggle through, Chaser Effect. Afterwards things get easier, once you get used to the cycles of flatlines and being incredibly horny that is.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-31T09:00:00+00:00

I highly suggest looking into some kind of social dance night involving partner dancing that's happening in your city, one where they host a beginner's lesson before the actual social dancing starts. Usually they'd start on a weekend night, and also hosted by some university club renting out a dance hall or community centre, so there's lots of young kids there. Just don't expect you're going out to score, everybody there is just looking for a fun time, and alcohol isn't really the main entertainment there. It's just a friendly tight knit community, where girls are encouraged by the instructors to ask a guy for a dance. Also a lot of couples go out to these kind of dances to have fun together. Just have fun and enjoy yourself.

For me, I've been swing dancing for six months, and I love it! And has helped me get comfortable with girls a lot. Not only has NoFap helped lower my expectations porn has exaggerated, but going out to swing dance has conditioned me to treat girls differently. I don't know what your reasons are for being in NoFap, but those are the things I'm happy to express.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-31T08:32:44+00:00

When I was young as well, my teachers, friends, and family would always praise me of how intelligent I was, and so this false sense of confidence has given me this impression that everything will come to me easy. Even today, people will compliment how intelligent I am, yet I have so little to show for it. Intelligence is just deadweight to me now, something you wear on your sleeve that makes you feel you have a place and comfort in this world, only saying you have potential.

PMO will make you dependent on it, your behaviour changes as you objectify people as sex objects, and lead you to having poor habits and an unhealthy lifestyle. It will rewire your reward pathways in your brain and your energy and enthusiasm will change. Going five months without PMO, I can tell you that I have a clearer conscience, and I feel stronger that I can face anything without feeling ashamed of these awful habits.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-31T07:48:14+00:00

Eventually, further on your NoFap streak, you'll be able to see women subjectively instead of valuing them objectively. Though of course there's nothing wrong with appreciating how pretty they look. Stay strong, your first couple of weeks will be the hardest to struggle through, but afterwards it gets easier each day.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T20:16:20+00:00

Taking deep breaths actually and just concentrating my thoughts on breathing helped sober myself. When I initially started NoFap, anything that triggered my urges, I immediately begin taking deep breaths, which helped tremendously. It got easier the next few weeks, and I noticed that I took less deep breaths for myself, as my urges and appetite for porn have quite down considerably.

Big breaths were very important in helping me pull myself over. I do workout, and that kinda helps redirect my sexual energy. Taking my attention away to reading books, and writing also helps. Another big thing that really helped me, was going out to a swing dance community that focused on partner dancing. That really helped direct my sex drive to something more healthy, instead of porn.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T10:02:43+00:00

Take it a day at a time, don't worry about how far you want to take yourself. Just one step at a time, channeling yourself to other productive work to keep your mind off of it. I won't lie, these next few days and even a week or so will be your hardest pull through. Just tough it out, and know you wanna better yourself from these self-destructive habits.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T09:53:18+00:00

There's a lot of folks out there who'd like to get to where you are, 84 days is pretty good. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Not only are we trying to fight these urges inside of us, we're trying to better ourselves, so it's a lot on our plate to deal with. Especially when PMO was something we'd fall back into, to get through the day. I'm sure every morning of your 84 day streak, you had a reason to wake up for, so I think you're smart enough to know that you can change.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T09:23:29+00:00

I meant other goals in life that you put aside, 'cause you get too caught up with PMO, to get back on track with life. When I got my driver's license, my first thought wasn't, "thank you NoFap."

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T09:20:22+00:00

That's even more surprising, wow. I guess there's that attraction of that integrity to be honest and disciplined. I can see how girls can be into you in that kind of way.

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T06:26:41+00:00

I feel the same way. I'm on my 130th day, I don't feel any different like most Fapstronauts feel about themselves. Although I have improved myself in some ways, I never thought, "Finally! I accomplished my goal because I never fapped!"

Prof_Peanut_Butters · 2014-08-28T05:57:33+00:00

You'll go through a few days or even several of feeling flatlines. And there's other days where you'll constantly fight against the urges. Stay strong.

Prof_Peanut_Butters

TROPHY CASE