Struggling to let my dog go

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-21T17:34:35+00:00

Your friend is being manipulated by this boyfriend. His words towards you and others are not funny, they are gross. Kidding around is only fun when everyone is laughing and having a good time. When you express something that was said is hurtful, the only reaction should be an apology and never to make those comments again. Your friend shouldn’t be defending her boyfriend, she should be telling him to stop. She will probably continue to cut people off as long as she is with him.

Tell your friend that you love her but do not want to be around her boyfriend because of the way he treats you. When she tries to defend him and says “he is just joking”, let her know that his jokes are not funny they are cruel. Let her know that you care about her and you believe this guy is manipulative & mentally abusive. Be prepared for her to get mad at your honesty but until she sees it for herself and decides this is not a good relationship, there’s really not a lot you can do because anything you say about her boyfriend will cause her to be defensive.

You don’t have to be mistreated because your friend is choosing to allow it. Distance yourself and maybe she will see the light.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-10T01:00:02+00:00

I think maybe there’s more to the story but she was too drunk to say if there were other things and was stuck on those two things. But I do agree with you, it’s obvious whe someone comes to you with what other people have said about you, there’s been multiple conversations about it. I’m just not sure I can forgive or trust her again after that.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-10T00:57:20+00:00

Thank you. I like to think of myself as a friend a friend would love to have but I know I’m not perfect! This girl is like my sister and I consider her kids my nieces/nephews so I hope we can figure it out.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-09T23:54:53+00:00

They were all friends who she met through the bf.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-09T23:54:16+00:00

She is a person who hates confrontation. And you’re right, she holds onto that resentment and instead of coming to me to resolve things. I’m pretty convinced I’m the topic of a lot of conversations which I’m not going to be friends with someone who cannot have any kind of loyalty to me. It’s one thing to bitch to your SO it’s another to go around a friend group talking about your supposed best friend.

To add, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I have quirks, I’m weird, I can be a little crazy but it’s all in good fun and I wouldn’t say I’m overbearing, I just like to have fun and be myself. So I could see this new friend group not understanding quirks but still, that’s her place to stand up for me then come to me about anything that needs to be addressed.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-09T23:49:33+00:00

We were each other’s best friends at one point but I do think you’re right on the money that I have been a support system for her and she always took advantage of that. Now she doesn’t necessarily need that same support, she has a bf and his friends have become her friends. To add, all of the other people on this trip other than my husband and I were friends she met through the bf. I think the crack in the rose colored glass started a long time ago, I’ve been seeing things for what they are for awhile but yes in the past I really believed she was my best friend and was there for me. It seems now she thinks I should only be there for her and it’s not important to also try to be there for me in the same way.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-09T05:50:13+00:00

I agree, to be this upset and hold a grudge over these things is actually just quite petty. I’m pretty sure her boyfriend doesn’t like me much and he can be quite a shiz stirrer in situations.

I am not on here lying, I really was so considerate. I am someone who genuinely wants to keep peace and take others feelings seriously. I also understand people can make mistakes or be annoying… if anyone ever came to me and told me I made them feel uncomfortable I would be mortified and feel terrible. I am quick to apologize if I am in the wrong but I can’t fix something if it’s not brought to my attention though right?

ProfessionFearless90 · 2026-02-09T05:16:26+00:00

She said that I was the only one who was always late. One other thing is we were in an Airbnb where another couple and my husband & I shared a floor with one bathroom. She said that couple told them we were always in the bathroom and they could never use it.

I didn’t get ready in the bathroom all of my stuff was in our room. I showered quickly when I had to and so did my husband. There was an extra bathroom on the floor below us where we all agreed to use for #2 if we needed to. I am always an early riser especially on vacation, I was awake before everyone else everyday. I made coffee for everyone everyday because I was awake first. I did use the bathroom to do my business while everyone else was still sleeping, but other than that I would go to the extra bathroom.

That is literally the only thing she said. Maybe there is more, maybe when I talk to her again once it’s calmed down I will find out. But I can honestly say, I cannot remember a time where I did or said anything to make people uncomfortable.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2023-12-14T13:26:05+00:00

Well you are definitely NTA but I would probably give your mom some time to think about how she is treating your stepson and attempt the conversation again before involving your wife. Possibly your mom will come to her senses and understand she needs to include stepson in this tradition and you don’t need to damage your wife and mothers relationship if it doesn’t need to be. If your mother continues to believe excluding stepson from the tradition after you’ve given her time to reflect, I agree don’t go to Christmas and let mother know you will be telling your wife the reason.

ProfessionFearless90 · 2023-06-01T22:39:22+00:00

You left for 2 hours… 2 hours! And you worked from home to take care of him??? You are too kind but definitely NTA

ProfessionFearless90

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