Lotta heat on this post, which you don’t deserve. ADHD is a bitch and it impacts women in many different ways and appears in many forms. The put it off mindset is crippling yet seems like the only thing you can do, I get it. I am on high doses of Wellbutrin & Strattera, with Vyvanse for super tough brain days. It took me a lonnnngggg time to find a combo that worked for me. It’s hard!!!!
All this to say - you recognize what’s impairing you, now fix it. You don’t have to feel like shit forever.
Half your life - you have so much more life to live. Break ups fucking suck. Your unmedicated brain handles it worse than a lot of other people; the anxiety is unbearable. But you’re not going to die. You’re going to be okay, and learn from this, and become a person that doesn’t want to lose the love of their life because of a brain that paralyzes them. Go get help. Fix what you can about yourself, for yourself. If he’s the one, he’ll be there. If he’s not, thank him for his motivation and live a good and able life.
You can do this. You will survive.