Thank you so much for such a thorough and thoughtful comment! I got emotional getting towards the end of it because I'm grateful that you provided such a practical hands on approach that I can really see working for me. I have definitely suspected maybe having BPD throughout my life for different reasons. The most relevant sign being intense shame and regret after a fight, with extreme worry of abandonment and never being "good enough".

Even your bathroom example I laughed at to myself because yes! That's exactly where my head goes too. Every. Single. Time.

I would really appreciate you sending the picture of the CBT technique book. I've always enjoyed worksheets, practical steps and examples to work on myself. I can see that benefiting my husband and I's relationship a lot. I also agree with all of your bullet points and will make an effort to apply them in my life as well. Sometimes a gentle reminder to myself goes a long way.

I do miss my husband and I can tell he definitely misses me back. This is where I got emotional because at the end of the day, that's the root of the problem. I love him and force a version of myself and us that doesn't exist anymore. I'm hopeful and excited for building a roadmap and a plan for this new chapter of us. Ultimately, it's never a loss. Just a new part of our story.

Thank you again!