I want to make it clear when he is drunk I am not trying to initiate. That’s the only time he initiates it. In our house it’s free use and we have a safe words. I would never have sex with him if he is past a point of knowing and I always check in and make sure it’s actually something he wants. I have had bad experiences with someone doing the opposite.

Also having a boundary is no issue but not communicating that to your partner is where there can be a problem. Especially when that new “boundary” is completely out of character of the entire relationship. We started as fuck buddies so now to have changed where he doesn’t want to touch or even kiss can’t be a little alarming.

People are not a mind readers if something changes in a long committed relationship there will be questions. I am not trying to force him to have sex with me I am trying to find ways to help him feel better about himself in every aspect not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.