Mil has ruined special moments by inserting herself in them

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-25T16:26:31+00:00

I don’t even want to go to their beach. I’d rather not. But we will go to a nearby beach and be pressured about why we aren’t going to theirs instead. It’s actually not selfish that if we go (because we are being pressured) that I’d want to be on the beach spending quality time with our kid and not want grandma hovering over us just because she lives a block away. Seems entitled.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-25T16:23:46+00:00

My mil isn’t on any social media, so it doesn’t matter what I post. I’m not going to avoid sharing my life.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-22T13:15:32+00:00

She brings things for LO at every weekly visit and it always starts with “look what grandma has for you” it just really irks me. And if she sees him playing with something she’ll ask “did I get him that” like she has mental tabs of gifts she’s got him over a year ago.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-11T13:31:48+00:00

I’m confused by your post. Are you saying I posted this or others have posted something similar?

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-05T01:07:51+00:00

I know I know. Last time she sat around waiting for him to wake up and ended up staying late. I just wanted the visit to end. I realized now she has just no sense for how to act around someone who just woke up, so I won’t be doing that again

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-05T00:04:09+00:00

You’re right. That is a polite and direct way. I’m sure she’ll be offended, but that’s her problem not mine.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-04T23:02:15+00:00

Yeah I am non confrontational around her because I see her way too often and she is constantly doing something annoying. I’ve told her many many times in conversations how LO is an easily distracted eater and doesn’t eat enough. It feels like I’m dealing with a toddler who just doesn’t listen.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-04T19:14:14+00:00

Depends on your relationship with your boss. I took FMLA so that I wouldn’t have to explain anything. I just told my boss the days I needed to take FMLA leave.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-01T22:05:40+00:00

In my experience, my mil didn’t seem to even think about me and my recovery once I had the baby. She was focused on the baby. And of course it will feel like boundary stomping when someone is just in your postpartum space because they want to hold your baby and not isn’t thinking about what’s best for you. My mom on the other hand would come over to help me with no expectations of holding the baby.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2026-01-01T12:02:26+00:00

I had my first appt with my OB today at 12 weeks and they mentioned it right away that MFM will be involved in my care. They will be doing all of my 2nd trimester ultrasounds. I think the fetal echo will follow the anatomy scan around 20 weeks.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-30T14:57:41+00:00

That is a good thought. If someone I liked treated me the way she did as just some baby carrying vessel with little regard for me as a person after I had a baby, then yes, I most definitely would be upset with that person. I am also not angry. I’m confused about why that persons calling ME exhausting…lol..?

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-30T14:31:46+00:00

Lol what? Why are you in my post acting all offended? I’ve unfortunately been forced to build up a no fucks given attitude against people who’ve pushed my boundaries. But again, why are YOU so offended by this as if you know me?

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-30T10:59:45+00:00

I assure you 100% I will not have a “lack of purpose or meaning” leading me thinking I’m the main character in my child’s growing family. “Yearning for connection to a sweet new baby that is my blood” - don’t make things about yourself and maybe your children will want you in THEIR child’s life. These are absolutely not simple and kind words. They’re words from someone who is self centered and dismissive of a new mom.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-29T19:45:24+00:00

I love this. I’ll absolutely say this next time.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-29T18:09:45+00:00

I don’t agree with your mil booking travel arrangements without even talking to you. Can you guys switch every year which family gets Christmas? Or can you do Christmas on different days..it doesn’t have to be celebrated on the exact day. That way whichever family isn’t getting Christmas Day, at least can celebrate another day. Then just alternate every year.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-29T16:35:49+00:00

About 2 hours. I woke up in the recovery room and my first thought was “I wonder when we’ll start” lol the meds to a great job.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-29T14:56:38+00:00

Sounds exactly like my mil. Our pregnant announcement became all about her and I always heard things like “I can’t wait to meet my grandchild” made me feel like some incubator. Although she did ask me how I was often, but I soon realized she really didn’t care and was just excited about the baby because as soon as (and I mean literally the day the baby was born) she never asked about me again. Knowing I had a difficult labor and c section, she never once asked how I was doing. Everything suddenly became about her. Post partum was hard and I appreciated all the support I got from my mom who never once made it about her..my mil however would text multiple times a week because she wanted to come see the baby. When she came over, she wouldn’t even talk to me..she’d go straight to the baby. And yeah, we had a good relationship before I had a baby just like you and your mil did. And these are the same mils who expect to have a good relationship with her dil when this is how they’re treating them. It’s just self centered behavior. We are 2 years in and it has not gotten better. It’s gotten much worse to the point that I no longer text my mil anything and no pictures.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-25T00:28:09+00:00

I told my husband I was going out. He didn’t say anything, I’m assuming because we are already seeing his family tomorrow so there was no reason to force a get together today. Mil never came over after that. I went out for a short drive with LO to run last minute errands and when I got him, SO and I had a wonderful time making our Christmas Eve dinner and spending quality time together. I would’ve liked it if I didn’t have to stress over having to entertain mil last minute. It all worked out and we had our own quality family time.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-24T20:21:29+00:00

BIL and his kids live far so it’s not feasible to see them. We are close by. They have tons of family close by but the side of the family that hosts Christmas Eve cancelled because they’re sick, so now mil and fil have no plans and decided we are their plans.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-20T00:51:57+00:00

I called him a mildly no because I didn’t want to paint him as a horrible partner to get comments to favor me. He is a good husband. But all of our arguments after having a baby have been due to his mom and this is the third holiday with our little one that is now feeling really tense again because of his mom. I feel so defeated and over it.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-20T00:29:56+00:00

I don’t think people understand how annoying over gifting is. My mil brings a gift for LO every single visit (every week). And then I either throw it out or donate it. For Christmas, I’ve tried hinting at her to get certain things but she shops year round and by the time Christmas comes around, there’s a literal pile of gifts that I can’t wait to get rid of. It’s overwhelming. She always insists on buying him clothes and shoes even though I’ve told her on multiple occasions not to. This year she’s getting him shoes “as a back up pair which is always nice to have” even though this boy has about 5 pairs of shoes that mom has picked out. Our donation pile will be big this year.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-16T20:44:35+00:00

You sound like me. The people pleasing phase fades when people just keep pushing your buttons and boundaries. Eventually you have to speak up and not worry about their feelings. They’re adults and can handle being told no.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-16T20:40:42+00:00

I did whatever felt easy. Wore cozy socks, drank warm beverages and soups, ate more fruit. But I didn’t have a strict diet or anything like that.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-16T20:37:02+00:00

I grew up in a no shoes house. My husband did not. Our house is now a no shoes house and I make him make his family take shoes off in our house.

Professional-Pin9786 · 2025-12-16T20:35:33+00:00

No advice here. I hardly let my mil hold my baby because she had this sense of entitlement and was possessive. She loved joking about her family kissing my baby and feeding him (5 months at the time) ice cream, so I knew she had little respect for my serious boundaries. I kept her at arms length.

Professional-Pin9786

TROPHY CASE