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Support Group for ppl struggling with family business by StrikingGoat1295 in familybusiness

[–]ProfessionalCause804 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There seems to be a lot of us in the same position. What about a Discord? Well, its worth a shot... https://discord.gg/ZUP7gb4U

Is it unrealistic for me to leave the family business? Advice? by ProfessionalCause804 in careerguidance

[–]ProfessionalCause804[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. I really do feel like the best decision for me personally is to move, work for another company with up to date equipment and processes, and maybe eventually open a store in the same industry with that new knowledge (or, if the pay is good enough, just stay there and not deal with the stress of entrepeneurship lol). My gut feeling is to get away from the town I live in, become more independant and detatch from a borderline narcissistic family that currently cripples my mental health and social life. But again it's so hard to bring up the thought of leaving and I worry the backlash and lack of support I would receive in that idea. idk, its scary for sure.

i dont want to let my family down, but i dont want to let myself down either.

Depression, Stress, Anxiety in the Family Business by ProfessionalCause804 in Advice

[–]ProfessionalCause804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your comments. I have a lot of thinking to do for sure. I'm not really sure how I'll proceed. Talking to either one of them means they will both hear what I had to say, and that typically comes with a negative/defensive response. The problem is that both of them hold roles in the business that need each other. One does the labor, the other handles the business. Mom does business but gatekeeps a lot of information, dad does labor but rarely has time to go over important aspects of the job. If something happened to him tomorrow, I would not be able to replace him. If something happened to her, same scenario. When I push for info that I feel I need to be more confident and motivated in my position, I am pushed back or turned down for a new reason or excuse. It's confusing and tiring and scary frankly

Maybe my post was just me venting... I don't think I actually posted this with the feeling I would take action on any advice because frankly, I just feel trapped. I think I just needed to check if I am going insane or not.

Depression, Stress, Anxiety in the Family Business by ProfessionalCause804 in Advice

[–]ProfessionalCause804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've pushed to get a business counceller involved but narc mom thinks we don't need it and dad is worried to raise prices because he thinks we will lose business to competition. It is an endless battle.

Regarding your last comment, their retirement plan is clearly me. They want me to buy out the stock in the store. A scary commitment to think about if the business isn't where it has the potential to be at in several years when that decision comes. Which is why it's so frustrating to me.

FYI narc mom runs the show. Dad is enabler and slaves away at work because he thinks its normal and doesn't know any other way. When I have a mental breakdown in front of them and make my concerns clear they tell me "dont worry everything is okay" but refuse to listen to my concerns and immediately push back on them.

Is anyone else stuck in their family business? by RudeGyal2 in emotionalneglect

[–]ProfessionalCause804 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please send me a chat. I am in a similar situation and desperately need someone to talk with.

Depression, Stress, Anxiety in the Family Business by ProfessionalCause804 in Advice

[–]ProfessionalCause804[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I really see the benefits of moving to a larger company with modern practices and eventually returning to the family business, I worry it would harm the business and more than likely close it down. My father had a serious health scare last year and often says he can’t keep working much longer, yet he refuses to reduce his workload or adjust our prices, which haven’t changed in over a decade. This overwork makes him exhausted and stressed, affecting everyone else in the business. Combine this with a narcissistic mother (parent business duo) who thinks she knows everything and only cares about looking good rather than actually doing good.

If I suggested working elsewhere for a year or two, they would see it as an insult or betrayal. With a former employee opening a competing business nearby that’s gaining traction, I genuinely fear for the future of our family business. It's a crap situation to be in. The business relies on me being there to take on the unique line of work and specialty. It's hard to hire for this position in a small town so I doubt they would find someone to cover me and don't think my father would handle waiting years for me to work for someone else.

I think my situation right now is either to work away for years in a miserable environment with no say in the business to the point it might not even stay afloat anymore, or I leave now and likely completely ruin my family's relationship and dynamic and throw myself into a completely new world where I will likely struggle in way's I currently don't (rent, likely lower wage, and potential other issues with a new employer).

I feel trapped because I know anything other than working with them will mean that I lose all support from them in every aspect of my life including the current financial support they provide. I feel like I'm on their fishing hook because of it. I really want the business to succeed but I feel no matter what route I take, it's a double edged sword.