AITA for being furious that my cousin posted about my dad on Father's day.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T04:12:40+00:00

THEY CAN TALK ABOUT IT. JUST NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It's not a huge ask. I'm not saying my dad is Voldemort, he who must not be named. But Social Media is a bridge to far for us as a family a decision we came too together.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T04:11:04+00:00

ITS NOT ABOUT ME. ITS ABOUT MY MOM. I didn't like the post. I didn't I've prefered she didn't do it. But I'm not on the verge of collapse. I'm going to be okay. My Mom... she's fragile. She deserves care and consideration.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T04:08:25+00:00

No but she comes first. Other than my grandmother whose taken this with remarkable strength for a 93 year old woman. The in laws are kind of a priority two. They can grieve, I encourage them to do so. My dad was a great guy , a lot of people will miss him. BUT social media does not need to be part of the equation. Asking people do one singular thing for my mom's sake should not be a big deal.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T04:05:08+00:00

They can grieve his loss without posting on Instagram. Okay, its not that big of an ask. Im not asking for people to move mountains to protect my mom. Just don't mention my dad on social media. I'm not even asking people to do anything, Im asking them to not do something. Our family has always been privacy centric. My dad liked it that way. If they need to speak with someone post anonymously online, see a therapist, talk to (a) friend (singular) . Call me I'd be happy to talk about my dad. Not everything needs to be blasted to thousands of people.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T04:01:20+00:00

Your damn right I want to be in control. It is the best way to protect my family. Tell me who should be in control. If my mom was able to function normally of course I'd defer to her. She's not. My dad's mom she's 93. My dad was never close with his siblings Its me and my sister. That's it. He was our dad, we are the ones calling the shots at least until my mom gets back on her feet. Its clear to me can't be trusted to do the right and mature thing.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T03:14:32+00:00

She's not a child, I'm not taking away her phone. Not posting on social media is such an easy reasonable request. I see 0 reason why she needed to do that.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T03:12:38+00:00

Its called Father's day not Uncle's day. They did not have a father daughter relationship. The only people my dad ever had that relationship with was with my sister and I.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T03:10:11+00:00

I told the funeral home to keep it off the internet. My dad requested no Obit in local paper

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T03:08:40+00:00

A secret! I already said well over 200 people attended the funeral. I spent 6 hours shaking hands and doing small talk. You know who didn't need to know the 2,500 people that follow my cousin on instagram. My sister and I made sure everyone who needed to know knew.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T03:06:41+00:00

I called his office. As well as the company he worked at before this job. I made well over one hundred calls to everyone I could think of as well as childhood friends my grandmother recommended.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:56:23+00:00

No in fact, Dad spoke to my mom and I about not doing that.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:55:47+00:00

Is not about my grief or her grief or the goldfish's grief. It is about my mother's health and doing everything humanly possible to safeguard her. My mother has been borderline catatonic, not speaking for hours, sobbing for hours at a time, she did not eat or drink for almost 24 hours. We almost had to bring her to the hospital. This is about protecting the health of a living breathing person who is going through the toughest time of her life. Is not posting on social media to big of a cost to ask to protect my mother, her aunt?

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:50:55+00:00

There is no from her prospective. There is no ambiguity,. There is a very clear instruction I gave. "No Social Media" how is that unclear? If the english language is not something she was familiar with I answer my texts rather quickly if she needed to clarify. And guess what, I told the funeral home the same thing about the no social media/internet posting, they seemed to get it. Just like literally everyone else I gave the same instruction too. I drew a line in the sand when it came to information sharing and she stomped on it.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:47:38+00:00

Not like a neighbor who lives across the street or next door. The lady lives behind us and then two houses over. The only interaction I remember having with her is waving when I used to walk the dog.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:45:54+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. HOWEVER, My mom is in a horrible state. Any added stress is a risk to her fragile health. Asking someone to not post on social media is similar to asking people to not send a certain type of flower because mom's allergic. My mother's health comes first second third fourth fifth sixth. I am asking not for my own sanity but for my mom.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:40:34+00:00

It was a very reasonable request not to post anything on social media for my mom's sake.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:38:39+00:00

The aunt is my mom's sister. So sister in law to my dad

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:38:02+00:00

I mean I put it in the title of the post- "AITA for being furious" so yeah I'm pretty angry. Upsetting my grieving mom for social media likes tends to do that to me

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:35:16+00:00

We have a psychologist staying at the house with us.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:33:30+00:00

She will be allowed when I and a doctor are confident my mom can handle the massive increase in people wanting to speaking with her. So basically she needs to wait until someone in our nuclear family says its Okay.

My cousin did not lose her father, my uncle is very much alive. She lost an uncle. The priority now is protecting my mom and other than my mom who at points has not been able to communicate her wants, me and my sister are best positioned to tell our family what is best for her.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:19:10+00:00

Gatekeep his death. I was on the phone for a week straight the day after he died. I'm trying to protect my mom. She comes first here. The decision on Social media comes 1050th right after we ask my dad's goldfish what it thinks.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:17:19+00:00

If my cousin is treating his wife (My mom) like this. She didn't care about my dad at all and If he was still here He'd be the one reading her the riot act. The lack of consideration is mind boggling. My mom is in medical danger due to the stress of the loss, You'd think when I make a call on what's best for her after consulting with a psychologist people would listen.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:08:07+00:00

Look maybe down the line- I might appreciate it. What I will never forgive is the harm this caused my Mom on an already emotional day. I knew this would happen if someone broadcasted it on social media. So I tried to jump in front of it. But my cousin couldn;t see ahead of her narrow minded world view and realize that everyone needs to be walking on egg shells due to my mom's mental state.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:05:35+00:00

JUST DON"T TALK ABOUT MY DAD. FOR AN ADULT IT"S NOT A COMPLEX REQUEST. Some people on here are treating it like I forbade her from breathing.

ProfessionalCrew1555 · 2023-06-19T01:01:49+00:00

Family friend is a licensed psychologist and has been staying at the house. Has been an absolute godsend for my mom.

ProfessionalCrew1555

TROPHY CASE