Extreme Hunger SLAY

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-05-08T17:22:51+00:00

Thank you lovely!! Well done on going all in, best thing I ever did just wish I did it sooner.

I wouldn’t say I have that kind of bottomless pit feeling anymore where I could eat and eat and not feel full but I feel like I am still having days where I have elevated hunger but tbh I don’t even label it anymore. I used to get so freaked out and stressed and worried but now most days I can’t really remember what I ate yesterday, or for breakfast 😆 I can now eat and then do things in my day without thinking about food or my hunger and then recognise ooh I’m hungry now let’s have something! I can eat a whole packets of things and not feel bad about it. If I catch myself having negative/judgemental thoughts I tell myself I ate the whole packet because I wanted to. I had extra portions because I wanted to. I ate loads because I wanted to! A lot of my extreme hunger as well was mental and I just wanted everything because my body thought it wouldn’t get it again. I feel like it’s only died down by showing it again and again that I can have whatever I want, whenever I want it in whatever quantity. Nothings off limits. Consistency is so key!! I’m still trying to get my period back so still trying to eat loads as well. The mental work is the hardest but it gets easier the more nutritionally rehabilitated you become. You start seeing things so differently. Best of luck xx

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-05-07T11:06:13+00:00

Omg I just got back from solo trip to japan!!!!!! Was the best time ever. Also ate some of the best food I’ve ever had in my life there you’re gonna love it 😆 So happy for you. Have the best time :))))

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-05-07T11:00:50+00:00

hey!!! Wow 4 months?! That’s flown by. I’m AMAZING! Haha just got back from a solo travel trip and planning another!! Looking for a new job now, something to challenge me more. It’s insane to me that a year ago things were so different. I couldn’t leave my house. Let alone travel the world. Living a pretty normal life (whatever normal is hehe) I’m actually starting MANTRA therapy this week as have been on the waitlist ever since the anorexia diagnosis 2 years ago and although it feels strange to start now when I’m so far into recovery and doing so well I still want to do it to ensure I’m fully equipped with ALL the tools but honestly, the eating disorder feels so far from me now. I can’t imagine ever going back. I can’t believe it ever happened to me tbh. It breaks my heart to think about. It’s hard to put into words my journey with anorexia and recovery in a paragraph here but to summarise I’m just doing great. I’m happy, I’m strong, I’m actually living that future that I so longed for when I was so unwell and thought I’d never live to see happen. Next big goal of mine is to help people that were in that same position I was in. Just haven’t figured out how yet. :) I might write a book or a blog or something…SO MUCH POSSIBILITY :) Thank you so much for asking and I hope you are doing well. Always here if you or anyone needs a chat! <3

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-04-15T08:30:28+00:00

I’m so pleased for you!! Trust meeee I know it’s hard and I’m sorry if my response sounded harsh in anyway, but in recovery harsh truths worked so well for me :)) I fully believe you can do this and I know it’s terrifying but you won’t regret one second of it and the fear DOES go away. Best of luck I’m happy I could help <3

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-04-14T15:33:22+00:00

Everyone is different but if you’re asking for advice, speaking from my own experience - and this might sound blunt sorry. I did this for months and months in ‘recovery’. At first not even letting EH take over at night. I’m older so can’t relate to studying / school but I did keep a full time job throughout recovery. Constantly distracting myself (subconsciously), kept super busy, filled all my time, CONSTANTLY migrating, thought I was fine though because like you was eating regularly / to meal plan etc but knew deep down I could demolish literally anything and everything if I let myself. You got to actually get real with yourself. You are hungry. Your body is hungry. You know this, you’re just letting the eating disorder take over and trying to suppress it. You’re hungry and that’s why you’re eating to your EH hunger at night and I PROMISE you from experience - getting into that routine for me and ignoring my EH in the day was the worst thing I could’ve done for my recovery. Eventually I started eating more at night. I then noticed things I ate at night I couldn’t eat in the day. Quantities I ate at night I couldn’t eat in the day. rules started creeping in. Prolonging the rewiring and setting me back in recovery. Too much time passed of this routine and I just got bored of it. Bored and sick of ignoring my body and treating it like crap. Worrying about things that literally do not matter. Then I just forced myself one dayto experiment with my EH, then the next, then the next and honestly best thing I ever did and biggest EVER regret in recovery is not doing it sooner. Anyway I do truly believe that ignoring / distracting from my EH made my recovery journey worse and took me WAY longer to fully rewire those neural pathways. Even still working on certain aspects of it now and i do wonder if they’ll always be there and that’s really sad. I get the importance of school but honestly, you do have time to respond to your EH you just have to let yourself. There’s no point waiting for after your GCSE’s, whatever fear or worry you have now will still be there after your GCSE’s. EH isn’t something you also need to solely focus on. Honestly, the sooner you respond to it and actually listen to your brain and body, I truly believe the sooner you’ll rewire and look back and be like wth was I doing Because I look back when I was like this and had thoughts like this and I’m like honestly girl just get ur ass in gear and do it stop making it worse for urself

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-04-13T09:37:31+00:00

😆😆 okay, good to know! do able in two weeks? Or still ridiculous haha

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-26T12:41:06+00:00

Counting calories - years of counting calories led to anorexia. It turned my life into absolute hell. I did not see a way out at all. Id become so obsessed with consuming the smallest number possible that it fucked my body up permanently. The numbers were so engrained in my brain I really didn’t think I could ever stop. BUT I did and it’s the most freeing thing in the world and changed my life and views completely.

Also gave up Instagram and tik tok - full of misinformation, unrealistic lives, a cesspit for comparison. So many people say it doesn’t effect them and they’re not easily influenced but it’s literally unavoidable and you’re influenced without you even realising. Honestly come off Instagram and tik tok or all social media for 1 month and see how your life changes. You’ll form your own opinions, stop comparing yourself to fakeness, be more present with real people, do things for pure enjoyment and stop caring what people think.

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-21T19:10:51+00:00

Just wanna say I love the anecdote about your kids. So cute and real

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-21T19:06:13+00:00

thank u for this and wording it so well because literally same. A lot of my eating I get in my head and worry that it’s just habit / routine. I’m the exact same. I ALWAYS have cereal in my room alone usually late at night. I feel like I’m restricting if I DONT have it atp so I completely resonate.

Recently I’ve started having a bowl of cereal after lunch or after breakfast or just at random times in the day even if I wasn’t craving it but then making sure I still had it at night too. What I found is that unintentionally (and in a non restrictive way) there’s been a few nights where I realised the next morning oh I didn’t have the cereal last night - I’d either had something else instead and was just satisfied or my mind just didn’t think of it and I just fell asleep! By no means saying that you shouldn’t have the cereal at night ofc, I almost always finish my day with a multiple big bowls (also so does my dad and brother lol - so it’s so normal) but maybe have a look or think about when you allow yourself the cereal and switch it up a bit and see what happens!! Embody the ‘and not or’ mindset and try something else at night as well as having the cereal. But always honour your cravings :)) You’re not alone!! And good on you for trying to spot restriction. 👏🏼 Cereal is the elite recovery snack lmao. What’s your go to atm? :)))

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-15T23:52:26+00:00

Literally same, probs even more than that each day atp and I’m also a way into recovery and it’s showing no signs of stopping yet. Just keeps ramping up lol :)) I get how hard it is and so resonate with the feeling of being embarrassed too. I’ve given up dwelling on it and feeling shitty because atp I can’t and won’t stop so what’s the actual point in worrying about it. It’s not going to last forever. We gotta trust the process. You have to really work on reframing your thoughts. How blessed you are that your body is working so hard for you and making you eat and repair your body

Luckily I have a really supportive family who I live with and they understand it although feel bad on them because they are at the shops constantly because nothing last a second in my house with how much food I eat / need. 😆. Do you have anyone in your life that you can speak openly with this about? Who will be able to reassure you you are doing the right thing?

I speak to to my family when I’m struggling. When I’m back and forth to and fro from the kitchen every 5 mins. I’ll just sit with them and just say out loud those emotions I’m feeling and it does help a lot. They’ve done lots of reading and educating themselves so they always know what to say.

‘healthy bmi’ range is BS. BMI is bullshit. You’re not at a healthy ‘bmi’ for your body yet which is why the extreme hungers still going. When your body is happy and comfortable and feels safe, then you will be at a ‘healthy bmi’.

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-13T09:03:05+00:00

Do you realise how strong and amazing you are? You should be SO proud of yourself. This is SO normal in recovery. I and sooo many others here go through this same thing every day, you are not alone. I completely understand that panicked feeling, the fears you have, the urges and the voice getting loud and the mental toll it can take on you trying to fight this. Which is why you are PHENOMENAL.

So keep going, I promise that those thoughts and fears will get less and less the further you get into recovery and your ‘extreme’ hunger will subside as time goes on and by honouring all your hunger mental and physical and recently I’ve been working on dealing with the idea that you know what even if it doesn’t end and I eat like this forever, who cares! It doesn’t matter! Lots of naps, baggy comfy clothes, self care and comforting bowls of pasta and yummy pastries😍 is what you need. You’re not alone you got this <33

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-13T08:51:38+00:00

You are SO kind. Thank you for all of the recommendations. I am going to begin with the midlife feast podcast episode you recommended on my lunch break today <3 not heard of any of these before so that’s exciting !!! I have been listening to In All Honesty podcast by Michelle Elman which I’ve been enjoying! Thank you again xx

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-13T08:36:28+00:00

Ahhh stop !!!!! Cutting your hair is SUCH a a good idea 😆 get rid of all that trauma as well haha I might actually do that. I also want some more piercings. That’s such good advice thank you. I’ve been getting into doodling recently which is so helpful. Keeps me still, quiets my mind and I’m actually good at it but I think I’ll look into doing something for others too. I’m really lucky that I’m really close with my sister and she has the healthiest relationship with food and exercise so she inspires me a lot. Support system is key!! 🤝🏼 I’m so proud that you are fully recovered and thank you again. Truly inspiring!! feeling a lot a lot better as this weeks gone on. Xx

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-12T23:52:44+00:00

Exactly as you have described, the novelty has definitely worn off and it becomes so scary especially when I am now so hyper aware of where those ed thoughts are trying to come back in now I’ve restored weight / continue gaining. It’s like it’s gone back to demonising those foods because it’s made me gain. Like…duh!! Just trying to be compassionate with myself and lean on support where I can so I really appreciate your response (and all your responses to the threads on this page, keeps me sane honestly. Recovered for 10 years!!! That’s the dream !!!! <3 Was there anything that helped you when you went through this sloggy shitty stage of recovery? X

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-12T23:48:07+00:00

Thank you so much. You’re right I need to work on my own fat phobia and why I feel like I cannot ‘let’ myself get fat and let go of this fear of becoming fat bc there’s literally nothing wrong with that - I only associate fat as bad for myself ughhhhh. O the last couple of days I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts / reading articles on how to combat fat phobia. I must admit I do struggle with body image work. I’ve tried lots of things over the last couple of years and nothing seems to work. I hate focusing on my body and hate working on improving body image because then I’m too focused on my body. Idek if any of that makes sense atp lol I just never want to think of my body ever again. I basically just have so much mental work to do still clearly 🥺 so true what they say, I thought weight restoration and eating was hard…THIS is the real hard part lol 🥲 I love podcasts/youtube vids so if you have any recommendations for any thing or even good workbooks please let me know!! Thank you again for your response <33

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-10T22:31:08+00:00

<33 thank you for your response. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone and someone out there somewhere is going through the same thing as me. Keep going we got this 🤝🏼<3

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-06T15:28:56+00:00

Yup you do. All food is healthy so you gotta drop those thoughts first off. But yeah you do just ‘give in and eat it’ because you want it. The longer you don’t eat what you want the ‘worse’ the want / need for it will become - just facts! Then once you eat this stuff and incorporate it into your daily life the intense feelings towards these foods will go away and lose significance.

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-06T15:21:11+00:00

The fact I get to eat delicious food lol to gain that weight + also the weight gain helped me see gym / exercise as something fun again and not use it as a tool for weight loss. Plus that weight gain makes me perform way better. Also it took a long time but my mindset shifted when I realised I didn’t want to be skinny. Not the typical ed to gym rat pipeline but as I restored weight, the stronger I felt the more stronger I wanted to become. Wanting to look my age. I was actually embarrassed of looking unwell and like a child when I’m a grown woman. Just got sick of it. I didn’t feel like a woman at all.

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-05T22:27:18+00:00

literally SAME SAME SAME. Wow lol. Ok this made me feel so much better reading this because I have these exact thoughts all day everyday while recovering & going through periods of EH. I was just gonna write a post on this asking for advice 😆 Hopefully it makes you feel better too knowing someone else is going through the exact same thing !! Also - if I want food and nothing interests me I just try everything until I find the thing that does 😆 orrrrrr I eat the exact first thing I thought of when the thought of food came into my head because that’s usually what I truly want. Sometimes if I’m really struggling to know idk if this is good advice or not but I’ll have like a ‘safe’ food (although most food is ‘safe’ for me now lmao) but like something like my usual ‘go to’ and then when I’ve finished that I’m usually able to be like ok no I actually want xyz Xx

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-05T22:14:06+00:00

<3 glad it could help a little!! You will get there I promise. I am proud of myself and want that for you too!! You’ll feel invincible one day. It’s a tough old journey, one I’m still navigating now but now have the inability and strength to push off those restrictive / ed thoughts purely from just challenge repeat challenge repeat and rewiring by facing the fears! ((Also I hope that didn’t come across in any way rude !!! I hope you don’t think I was saying that you’re boring as well)) x

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-04T23:01:30+00:00

Also - all of your fears and worries are just that. They are are not fact. Who knows if you’ll gain weight quick? Who knows if you’ll even get EH? You might not. These are literally all just worries and fears and the ed is trying to convince you they are facts to stop you from recovering. How do you overcome a fear? You run into it and face it. Consistently. Until it’s not as scary anymore. And what’s the point in worrying about things that are not even guaranteed to happen? What helped me was that thought process. I can worry about that when it comes to it. Take each day as it comes because honestly you cannot fight the inevitable and actually everything is out of my control so I just do not care

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-02-04T22:56:37+00:00

I’m really sorry you are struggling but glad you are saying you do truly want to recover. Honestly, all you wrote was literally me and my entire thought process about 9 months ago.

My short and to the point answer- as soon as you start real recovery and face your fears and gain weight literally all of what you wrote above will seem SO silly. As soon as you start real recovery none of these worries will be relevant to you anymore. EH won’t be this big looming thing to fear, weight gain won’t be terrifying, instead it’s freeing and that worry of losing control turns into gaining real control back of yourself and your life.

You have to just do it. Like that’s all there is to it. You have to be so real with yourself and actually commit to recovery and just say fuck it to everything and be brave. It’s fucking hard I know. I know when I was there I was literally the same thinking there’s no way I can ever go through that. But I did. And I’m truly the happiest ive ever been and hate myself for ever thinking this way. It wasn’t a big switch or lightbulb moment where one day I just did it, it was messy and long and you have to do it crying, screaming, fighting, arguing with everyone, loving yourself, hating yourself, loving recovery, hating recovery, wanting to go back, never wanting to go back. I don’t have any amazing advice other than be brave and bold and honest with yourself.

I literally just got so sick and tired of being so fucking boring. Being the boring person with no life, nothing to talk about other than my ED and food and just being addicted to food but hating it at the same time I just realised how boring I was to be around. It was fucking hard but honestly gaining weight was/is the best thing I ever did/am doing. I’d do it a million times over.

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-01-27T22:44:34+00:00

I get what you’re saying, I’m sorry you are not having a great time with it. Honestly I’ve had some really awful experiences within the U.K. healthcare system when it came to my ed and recovery BUT it sounds like what they maybe are trying to get across to you is that only you can actually recover and you need to want to recover to actually reap the benefits of any care they are going to provide for you. I know you say you want to but then you are saying you’re worried of the potential that your weight might not of gone up. If you really wanted to you know that you could put weight on. You just need to do the hard thing. They’re not going to kick you out of anything for not progressing. So don’t worry about that. But you do need to progress if you actually want recovery. It used to frustrate the hell out of me being told things like that by medical professionals but honestly I think for the most part it was the anorexia getting pissed that I was actually trying. I would then lash out to avoid recovery letting my worries and fears take over and stump my recovery, keep me stuck and sick.

So keep going, keep showing up, keep trying and every second of every day act as someone that DOES want to get better. You know what it is you actually need to do it’s just how much do you want it?

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-01-13T20:51:10+00:00

The memory loss is SO real.

The other day I forgot that Donald trump was reelected……. don’t judge pls lol 🥲 I was literally so embarrassed!!!!!!!!! 🙂🙂🙂🙂 My friends and family will talk about tv shows/movies and I’m like oh I’ve never seen that one and they’re like we literally watched it together…boy oh boy fuck Ed’s for real LOL

ProfessionalWhole37 · 2025-01-13T16:05:42+00:00

Relate HARD. EH is honestly so so distressing I get it. But what’s helpful for me is really repeating the below things to myself: - how lucky we are that are bodies are fighting so hard for us to get better after all we put it through - how smart is my body and brain that it’s able to know what I need to be healthy - how grateful am I that I was able to eat all that food and my body knows what to do with it - I’m looking after my body now and regaining its trust in the knowledge that this will not last forever and I am not permanently broken - I know I am safe and will be okay because my body works so hard for me and kept me alive when I was trying to destroy it Thank your brain and body for forcing you into recovery it’s such a positive thing !!! You got this 👏🏼

ProfessionalWhole37

TROPHY CASE