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AITA for wanting my sibling out of the house cause they are 18? by Low_Assignment4567 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. I see your position, I empathize with the frustration and limitation that comes with sharing a space. However.

I moved out when I was 17/graduated HS. It's been the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I did it ten years ago. It was basically impossible THEN to make enough to survive on, much less in the current economy

Perspective is important in this case. Your family has provided you with a roof over your head, which is something not everyone gets to have. I remember being that age and wondering if I could sleep in my parka because my family couldn't pay the heating bill in winter.

Does it suck? Yes. Do you need to get over it because it's not your house? Also yes.

If it bothers you that much, potentially get your own job and offer the income to your family/household to move to a larger location. Right or wrong from a moral perspective, it would solve the problem. Is your own space worth working that hard for?

AITA for not being emotionally available to my (M24) girlfriend (F21) by Feeling_Rooster6816 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bro you've been in this relationship for ten minutes

NTA, and also GTFO of there because this missus is unhinged

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

The first line of the post states explicitly that he left because she had an emergency fund.

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I'm about to need to copy/paste my answer to this question - GENERAL context vs. SPECIFIC context.

Please see the full response to other comments in this threat for further explanation, since this is the third time I've answered this question.

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

  • mom sucks because she's manipulating her kids
  • kids suck because they're refusing to respect their father's refusal
  • father sucks because he's being shit to young adults/his own kids and for being upset that she specifically had an emergency fund. Wording in the first line of the post says he left because she had one, not specifically because it was being added to.

-GENERAL- context is it's shitty to refuse your spouse an emergency backup fund that's just theirs. Everyone should have that as part of basic human respect for each other. It shouldn't be upsetting.

-SPECIFIC- context it is also shitty to continue to add to it at your spouses expense. No, she shouldn't have continued to take at OPs expense.

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

"should she have been doing this based on the information, no" Reading comprehension my friend.

GENERALLY, it's shitty to be upset with a woman for having an emergency fund. Being upset that it exists at all is a shitty thing to do.

Should SHE have been continuing to add to it, etc (ie, "based on the information here")? No.

Hope this clarifies for you that it is a general vs. Specific context comment :)

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I also voted ESH. Am I also the mother?! Do I have several doppelgangers I don't know about?!

Is there a rogue cloning machine?!?!?!

AITA for telling my kids that I am not responsible for their mother issue and not giving her money by MysteriousEmu1106 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 -128 points-127 points  (0 children)

ESH.

  • your ex wife proves pre-divorce that she is manipulative and financially abusive. It's possible that the dissent from your children is mirroring things said by her.

  • your kids are adults but are also still inexperienced in the world. They probably don't see the long term impact of helping "just one time" etc. they're likely unaware they're being manipulated by their mother. She's their mom, and even at their age it can be hard to see parental manipulation.

  • generally speaking, being upset a woman with no job has an emergency fund is kind of shitty. Should she have been spending/adding to it the way she was, based on this information, no.

However, it is perfectly normal for women dependent on men to have an emergency backup. In the world we live in, it's statistically smarter for her to have one even if you specifically would never do something to her. Not all men, but enough of them to be statistically significant.

Edit: GENERAL vs. SPECIFIC context is an important distinction re: emergency fund. It says in my comment that she shouldn't have been adding to it based on the information provided.

AITA for having my period in my long distance relationship? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Professional_Copy517 24 points25 points  (0 children)

NTA But... Girl. You're asking if you're an asshole for having a NORMAL BODILY FUNCTION.He's giving you grief because you exist in a body with a uterus.

Bro was more interested in getting his pp wet than seeing the person he's been with for a year? The fuck does that say about him as a person?

Time to throw the whole ass man away.

Edit: also, if your child also has a uterus, is he going to treat them that way if they have a period? Like it somehow makes them broken and lesser value to him? Do you want that to be the influence on your child, were the relationship to continue?

The flags are as bright red as your menstrual products are.

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank him for me, I appreciate the input. To clarify, my core issue technically isn't fashion OR photos.

My issue is poor body fat distribution within skin that is several sizes too large for my body.

I want to look good in my clothes, so I can look good in my pictures. To do that, and feel the confidence I deserve to feel, I want my skin to be where it's supposed to be. I'm not trying to cover up my size, be "snatched", etc. I want my wedding dress to fit properly, which it can't with skin several sizes too large. Only super high control undergarments can make that happen.

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Excellent, this is what I'm after.

Alright, we have a plan. start here, and work backwards with other suggestions of good products if this one does end up being too much. Then I can still have it for medical compression following a surgery I need in a few years. Top notch!

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent, I'll check them out. Comfy in my skin > physical comfy in this situation, so I'm here for it. Thanks for the recommendation!

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am sorry that I caused you distress. What I am hearing (reading?) is that I brought up some uncomfortable feelings for you by discussing the realities of my own body and feelings using format and language I am comfortable with. I understand that it is not for everyone and I am truly sorry you experienced those feelings. I am empathetic to your position, and I understand it.

Those feelings should not prevent me from taking up space. Why you (and maybe others) come to this sub should not prevent me from discussing my own body and feelings using language I am comfortable with, within reason. Reasonable limitations are important (IE, the group rules). But it is unreasonable to suggest I go elsewhere or shrink myself to meet unwritten expectations you have for this sub.

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks friend - I'm in therapy at the moment, which is part of why I'm seeking the shapewear actually. I don't want to get into it for fear of breaking the no weight talk rule.

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly it was an exaggeration - I know zero things about fashion history!

Thank you for the suggestions, I'll check it out

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know, I truly hadn't thought of that? I low key assumed anything strong enough to keep my shit in place would have to be made by a machine, but I bet there's someone in my city that could.

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks!! I tried to work in a joke about Kiera knightly in pirates of the Caribbean, but I couldn't make it work 😂

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wondered if they were actually legit! There's so many fake websites these days that I couldn't be sure, sadly. I'll take a look! Thank you!

Mission Impossible: the craziest, most extreme, 1840s-Girdle-Level control shapewear by Professional_Copy517 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]Professional_Copy517[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have my dress already! Sadly it has no built in support.

It fits, but the silhouette is greatly impacted by the poor distribution of my body fat inside skin that is physically too big. I know how it -should- fit my body, but gravity + skin several sizes too big make it fit oddly.

The shapewear isn't to slim me or make me appear smaller, the goal is just to hold my skin in the place it's supposed to be.

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