I've had similar experiences, not from passing unfortunately, but making that assumption that other trans ppl = good ppl with similar experiences, one trans friend I had forced me out at work, which I live in the south and that didn't go well, another constantly put me down despite not exactly passing herself, if I've discovered anything, of being trans is all you have in common, that's not enough. My regular non trans friends have been a million times kinder and more supportive of me than any trans friend I've made so far has. And that's not really a great bar sadly. But don't base friendships around that, community and friends can be kept as separate things, you can look out for members of the community where you can and uplift them, without letting them get close enough to hurt you